Well, three days were good
The first three days of school were better than I’d dared to hope, and when I walked Monkey over to school yesterday, I decided to stop in and chat with his teacher for a minute. She confirmed that all was well and that she was pleasantly surprised at how problem-free it had been, so far.
“Oh, just WAIT,” I laughed. “We’re still in the honeymoon period! Don’t be lulled into a false sense of security!” And we chuckled together and talked about school supplies and then I walked back home with a spring in my step, no idea exactly how prophetic I’d just been.
It’s probably better that way, but still. The afternoon didn’t so much surprise me as it LEAPT AT MY THROAT and left me bleeding out on the floor. Oops! read more…
I’ve never felt this way before
I’m starting to worry, a little bit, that maybe I’ve gotten myself into an unhealthy relationship. And I’m just as surprised as you are, because I am—by all accounts, if I do say so, myself—a strong and independent woman with a clear sense of right and wrong and personal boundaries. If anything, I’m usually TOO quick to dismiss someone for having transgressed in a way that is (to me) insurmountable.
And that’s why I find myself really puzzled by my current situation. I mean, love is a beautiful thing. When you love someone, and they love you back, you’re supposed to be good to each other, right? That’s what it’s all about? I do for you, you do for me, together we are happier, stronger, our best selves, etc.?
You all know I’ve already been through one extremely painful divorce. I just don’t think I can go through something like that again. Maybe that’s why I keep trying to work it out. I keep telling myself that it’s okay; it’ll get better; I’m just misunderstanding and really, no harm was meant. read more…
Her and me and we
It’s a funny thing, having a daughter, when your relationship with your own mother is kind of complicated. I never doubted my ability to care for a child; I had years of babysitting and even nannying under my belt by the time Chickadee came along. But I doubted my ability to be a good mother to a girl. Because girls are complicated and touchy and easily wounded. I know this because I am complicated and touchy and easily wounded, and even now I can remember with cutting clarity certain events and statements not meant to cause harm, of course, but that nevertheless sliced jagged tracks through my self-esteem.
You might think it’d be easy to be All Things Awesome and avoid any mistakes in this realm, and if you think that, I’m guessing you don’t have kids. Too often I open my mouth and something comes out that makes me cringe. There are things I understand all too well, which she is sure I do not. There are things that baffle me where she is impatient with my confusion. And the daily push-pull of one foot in childhood and one in adulthood is making us both dizzy.
It’s funny the way things happen all at once. read more…
Save the drama for your mama
So. Um. Hi! It appears that I didn’t really think through yesterday’s post. I mean, I thought, “This is an important miscarriage of justice that needs to be brought to light, and I have the luxury of readers and so I will ask them to read about it,” when really I should’ve been thinking, “People who are strangers to me will read about this story and then go onto various bulletin boards and claim that I have posted this story to boost my t-shirt sales.” Yes, they’re on to me, folks. I shared that story because I want your money! BUY A SHIRT, DAMMIT!
Ahem.
Look; I very rarely use this space for any sort of activism. When I do, it’s something that’s important to me. If it’s not important to you, that’s okay. Just move on. No need to get your panties in a wad. [Though, for anyone who has questions about yesterday’s post: A bunch of details have been added in the comments by both Hollis (the author) and Kimberly (Hollis’ sister, the defense attorney), including the docket number. Please stop with the “this story can’t be real.”]
So, let’s get back to the sort of controversial, cutting-edge storytelling for which I am best known, shall we? read more…
Looks Like Kidnapping is Now Legal in Ohio
UPDATE 8/10/10: Here is a scan of the affidavits filed in this case for those who are looking for official proof.
UPDATE 8/11/10: I granted Hollis the space to share this story to hopefully generate some media attention. It worked. It also brought over a lot of people who aren’t very good at playing nicely, and as I have a life to maintain I’m now moderating comments rather than allowing y’all free rein to spew all over my site.
UPDATE 9/11/10: Mandy has regained custody of baby Madison! April Brown tested positive for illegal drug use three times in the last month before the hearing. Justice was finally served, albeit at the expense of seven months lost between mother and child.
And now for something completely different: The piece that follows was penned by no other than the mistress of shocking real life herself, Hollis Gillespie. If you are unfamiliar with Hollis’ work, let’s just say that I would have to hate her a whole lot if she wasn’t also so freaking warm and kind on top of being hilarious and successful. Not only that, she’s a fellow divorced mama, and you KNOW we have a club for that. (Although of course now those of you who aren’t members will have to die because I told you. Sorry.)
Anyway, Hollis is trying to get the word out about this story, and I am trying to help. Please read, share, and do what you can. Without further ado, here’s Hollis:
As a divorced parent, I sometimes think I’ve seen it all. For one, I thought there were only two worlds when it came to child-custody; the regular one in which we operate daily, and this other total toilet spin of rules and bureaucratic turd pellets referred to as family law. But at least in that second world the rules are fairly followed. But recently I discovered this whole other third world. Consider it a dwarf planet of pure courtroom nuttiness, where all the rules exist but they’re ignored. This is where the Ohio court case Brown vs. Elliot resides, and you’re not gonna believe this*: read more…
Hop aboard the noodle train, my friends
I took my last Prednisone pill this morning, and am eagerly looking forward to returning to sanity in the nearish future. I hope. Also, Otto reports that I ground my teeth so loudly last night I actually woke him up, so I guess the continued pain in my jaw isn’t much of a mystery. One of these days I’m going to be all, “OH EM GEE, YOU GUYS, I WOKE UP WITH A MOUTHFUL OF BUSTED TEETH TODAY!” And you’ll think I’m exaggerating, like I always do, only it will be true because WHY LEARN TO COPE WITH STRESS when you can simply destroy your sanity and smile in one fell swoop?
The funny (not funny-haha but funny-weird, because the idea of waking up toothless is actually frightening to me) part is that I don’t really feel all that stressed out. I’m not sure why my brain is suddenly convinced that the fate of the universe rests upon my ability to clench my jaw with a thousand pounds of neurotic force.
But yesterday was Quite A Day, so maybe it’s Stress even though it’s not Bad Stress. Or something. read more…
Brought to you by the letter P, for SQUIRREL
I’ve been mildly ill for, oh, I don’t know… a month? Close to a month. Just sort of generally crappy-feeling. Tired. Blecky. (That’s a scientific term, by the way.) Sore throat. And then this weird thing where biting down on my left side caused pain to shoot through my jaw and into my ear.
So I did the logical thing, which was to go see my doctor. Except not really; it took me a month to go see my doctor, during which time I just chewed on the right and complained a lot.
But after basically laying around like a dying swan for most of the weekend, Otto insisted I go to the doctor, so I did. I was beginning to suspect I had mono, actually, on account of the fact that I suffer from Munchausen’s By Internet. Because Kira had mono without realizing it and someday I hope to be as cool as she is. And in the meantime, I’m highly suggestible. read more…
Judicious application of hip-hop hamsters
Have you seen this Kia commercial? I apologize in advance for the fact that the music will BURROW INTO YOUR BRAIN, but you really must see if if you haven’t:
I have just one thing to say about that, by the way: DO. DOP. DIPPITY!
Okay, technically that may be three things. And it also isn’t the only thing I have to say about it, because I’m a dirty liar. read more…
Bad mommy; no biscuit!
Hey, how was your weekend? Do anything exciting?
Mine? Oh, yeah. Mine was great. You know, just doing the regular weekend stuff. Sleeping in. Buying groceries. Poisoning the dog. The usual.
What? Oh, haha. Yeah, kidding. Of course I’m kidding! I would never poison the dog! I mean, not on purpose, or anything. It was an accident.
Well, yes, I did actually do the same thing once before. I just thought it wouldn’t happen again. I mean… I just… LOOK, LICORICE IS OVER IT, WHY AREN’T YOU? Sheesh! Everyone’s a critic!
I’m telling you, it was an ACCIDENT, and I’m perfectly capable of marinating in my own guilt, thankyouverymuch. Hmph. read more…
It’s a dog’s life
90% of the time that I’m here in the house, the dog is in the same room with me. She’s my furry little shadow, and although I periodically complain about it (“Um, hello? Could you not bodyslam the bathroom door while I’m in here peeing, DOG?”), I have to say that it is quite ego-boosting to be so loved, even if it’s by a neurotic creature with a brain the size of an egg.
Now that Otto and I no longer share an office, though, during the summer—when he’s home more, and often working in his office upstairs—she sometimes forgoes sleeping on the floor of my office to trot upstairs and sleep on the floor of HIS office. Which is fine.
Except that sometimes I get a little jealous, you know, because there simply is no pleasing me.
Related: Know what’s SUPER FUN? Trying to get a dog to play with you when she really just wants to take a nap. read more…