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Not undead after all

I don't know how to ease into this so I won't. Duncan is no longer undead, he's just regular dead, now. And it feels shitty and morbid to put it like that, but I don't think he would mind. If Duncan could've spoken English I like to believe he would've cussed like a sailor and been very blunt. "Listen, I'm 207 fucking years old now. I can't hear. I can barely see. My brain's going and I piss everywhere and when you let me go, don't pussyfoot around it and say I 'passed on' or 'went forever to sleep' or anything. Just say I'm dead. But also remind everyone that I was a legend because I...

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Because we are all old

I swear I didn't mean to pop in three months ago, mention I was horribly depressed, tell a story about dog poop, and then disappear again. That's what happened, but it wasn't intentional. My intentions are always more like "I'll post this and then I'll get back to updating regularly, and with less angst" because hope springs eternal. Then life happens. You know how it is. The bad news is that it's been three entire months AND I'm not really even sure I would know how to live a life that is free from angst, so---intentions or not---my plan, such as it was, is not salvageable. Then again, if...

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Panic at the disco, but no disco

Hello again! Happy over-a-year-of-our-new-hellscape, and I hope you sensibly celebrated by getting takeout or something. I, apparently, decided to celebrate one year of lockdown by telling both my regular depression and my seasonal depression to hold my beer, and then proceeding to plunge into the pit of despair for most of February and March. I remained as sensible as possible during this time (which is to say, not at all) and every week got online with my therapist and defended my ridiculous behavior as if it was all totally normal and fine, because no longer talking to anyone or doing...

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Important critter updates

We're rather like a nature preserve, over here, if you like your nature preserve with a motley assortment of dying plants and high-strung creatures, that is. I thought before telling you the new news, I should probably cover some old news. Good old news, even! 1) We have not had a recurrence of any car mice. Thank God. 2) Nor have we had a recurrence of any possums in the pool. (In fact, there hasn't been anything of note in the pool for a while, or maybe Otto is just no longer telling me, which would also be fine.) 3) Despite the fact that we are rapidly coming up on a year from Duncan's...

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People I didn’t expect to be

Hello! The husband and I and some friends went out to see a concert last night and this morning I feel positively hungover even though I didn't drink. It's the staying up late during the week, you see. I am old. Plus the concert venue was one without seating, which meant we stood for a zillion hours (okay, maybe three?) and did I mention I am old and my usual location is sitting at a computer? Because that. Also my hair smells like flavored vape smoke and you kids should get off my lawn. Anyway. Hold that thought. First I thought I'd update you on the current state of elderly dog-ness in our...

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An update and some rain

Hello! A couple of people have asked and I didn't want to leave anyone hanging after you were all so sweet about my jerkface of a dying dog. Duncan is indeed still with us--after the first couple of days home he started eating again (but picky-like, so now he's getting canned food like the prince he is) and perked up considerably. We all spent several days watching him in amazement and commenting to one another, "He sure doesn't ACT like he's dying" and although I publicly declared I wasn't going to get my hopes up, lo, my hopes were up, because the medication was clearly working and he...

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Never ever ready

So this is not a fun post, but I do promise one little funny bit before it ends, if you'll hang in there with me. Okay? Okay. Six years ago we added Duncan to our family, and he has been an inordinate pain in our collective backsides ever since. He was older than we were told, he was sicker than we were told, and while I firmly believe I could pick Licorice up and twist her into a pretzel without so much as a single growl from her, Duncan has never, ever hesitated to show you displeasure with his (freakishly strong) teeth, and in the first two days he lived with us, he'd bitten three out of...

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All things baffled and borkening

Yesterday the temperature hit the high 50s here, and there was much rejoicing. This has been the longest, hottest summer I can remember, and allllll through September we joked about how fall would be arriving ANY DAY NOW, and yet the next day the heat index would crack three digits, and that sucked, sure, but when it was still happening the first week of October, well, then it's just ridiculous. But yesterday---glorious, cool, wonderful yesterday---when we got up, it was actually cool outside. I don't think it went over about 72 all day. Today it will be over 80, but RIGHTTHISSECOND it's...

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Back and even productive

My favorite thing to do after a trip---by which I mean, the thing I most often do just because I am a poor planner and also lazy---is to come home and swear at least twice a day that I'm going to unpack in just a little bit. I mean, I don't want to brag, or anything, but I have been known to leave my suitcase in the corner of the room, untouched, for up to a month. And really, I thought that was what would happen this time, too. Somehow, though, I was both so buoyed from our trip AND so excited to return home to my dogs and my own bed (is there anything better than that first night back in...

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