Well, three days were good

The first three days of school were better than I’d dared to hope, and when I walked Monkey over to school yesterday, I decided to stop in and chat with his teacher for a minute. She confirmed that all was well and that she was pleasantly surprised at how problem-free it had been, so far.

“Oh, just WAIT,” I laughed. “We’re still in the honeymoon period! Don’t be lulled into a false sense of security!” And we chuckled together and talked about school supplies and then I walked back home with a spring in my step, no idea exactly how prophetic I’d just been.

It’s probably better that way, but still. The afternoon didn’t so much surprise me as it LEAPT AT MY THROAT and left me bleeding out on the floor. Oops!

I could make this into a long, drawn-out story, but I really think the Cliff Notes version saves time and drives the horror home just as well.

1) Unbeknownst to me, at the end of the day Monkey’s parapro has been leaving the class a few minutes before dismissal to help do hall duty as the kids leave. If I’d known that, I might’ve suggested YEAH, NO. Because if it takes all of your energy to hold yourself together for the school day, when do you think you are going to be MOST LIKELY to completely lose your crap? The last few minutes, when everyone is tired and antsy and chaotic.

2) At the end of yesterday, Monkey’s teacher decided the class would play a math game. While I don’t presume to speak for all Aspies, for Monkey any sort of intellectual competition is often the fast track to How To Piss Off Your Aspie. First, he’s very rigid about rules, and WOE BETIDE anyone who (he feels) breaks a rule. Second, he doesn’t understand why everyone isn’t as smart as he is, so tends to find it truly baffling/amusing when another kid doesn’t do well. And third—oh, Monkey, my filterless wonder—my darling son is unlikely to keep his opinions to himself.

3) I’m sure you’re shocked to learn that he felt a transgression occurred and hilarity did NOT ensue. Nor was anyone particularly sympathetic to him after he called another kid stupid.

4) While this was happening—and I was still blissfully unaware!—Bad Things were starting to happen in my corner of the world. I, um, may have had food poisoning. You don’t want to know any more than that.

5) By the time Monkey arrived home, I was, uh, barely holding myself together, and the story unfolded as he raged and wept and I tried to figure out what, exactly, had happened. I managed to get him settled and an email sent off to the school.

6) And then Chickadee missed the bus. Because it was a super-awesome day for THAT to happen, on top of everything else. Fortunately, she called home to let me know. Unfortunately, I was, uh, indisposed when she called and she didn’t leave a message. When she showed up at home early (she caught a ride with a neighbor) and told me what had happened, I realized that the neighbor probably thinks I’m a crackhead. “I know my mom’s home but she’s not answering the home phone or the cell. Oh, look, there’s her car. Weird. Thanks for the ride!” May have to do some damage control there, later.

All’s well that ends well, I suppose. I’m no longer sick (at the very least, I’m empty) (you’re welcome!), I’ve spoken to the teacher and I think we got Monkey’s situation ironed out, and Chickadee seems to just find it amusing that maybe the neighbors think I’m a druggie or agoraphobic. Awesome.

In other news, I’m back on the fitness train, sort of, though let’s all hope that next week is a better week in every possible way, shall we? Yes.


  1. Leandra

    Good Lord, woman. When it rains, it just pours for you doesn’t it? Hope your weekend is awesome to make up for all the sucktasticness of this week.

  2. Karen

    I feel your pain in the food poisoning department. And let me tell you this… Three times in the past six months I have ALL OF A SUDDEN and WITHOUT WARNING.. had a severe case of what I thought was food poisoning. Now, it might still be… but… I also happened to eat seafood on all three occasions about an hour or two before the …”occurence”..ahem. I was so sick for about 20 minutes I was on the bathroom floor when I wasn’t on the …throne. It appears I have developed a seafood allergy after eating it regularly for 45 years. So.. if it happens again, pay attention to what you’ve eaten in the last 24 hours and see if there is a link.

    I wonder if Monkey would do better in a school for gifted children, are there any programs in your area? If he’s that bright, maybe there would be less agitation in that kind of a classroom.

  3. Laura

    I’m so sorry about your food poisoning! What a completely rotten day you had. I can appreciate the whole situation with Monkey too. My son is the same way, only he has processing speed issues, so even though at age 9 he could solve logarithmic equations, he can’t do it as quickly as some other kids. This would lead to high levels of frustration and epic meltdowns. {{{hugs}}} It’s almost the weekend!

  4. Tracy

    All of that yesterday, when today is Friday the 13th. Your biological clock is off a day. lol I’m glad you are better and the kids are surviving school. And yes, it’s still the honeymoon period for most. Have a great weekend!

  5. Midj

    Poor Mir… Hang in there… The weekend is nigh! We have yet another week off next week before school starts and my two (20 and 17) are already getting antsy. Thank goodness they both have jobs and can only kvetch at each other (and me) sporadically. They’ll never admit to the cause but it’s pre-school jitters for both. Sending them off with my Kohl’s card, the Kohl’s sale flyer “and” a budget this weekend will help them both. Stay well and enjoy the weekend. Laze by the pool time maybe?!?

  6. Megan

    Aw phooey. What is it with the everything-at-once the universe likes to do? Hmmm?

  7. Jamie

    What a crappy week! (Sorry for being so literal, I couldn’t resist!)

    Hugs, happy thoughts and definitely cocktails!

  8. Aimee

    Ugh — I’m so sorry. I hope you and Monkey are both much better today.

  9. Sheila

    Wow- you really hit the Trifecta there. I do believe you are entitled to Bonus Points because one of the three defining features of your Triangle of Suck was gastrointestinal in nature.

    Hope you enjoy some weak tea and a blissfully uneventful day today.

  10. Suzie

    Oh wow, what a day! I’m sure that your neighbors won’t assume horrible things about you, though. I’m sure they, too, have had such nasty days.

  11. Martha

    Yikes! You really were a day ahead! My DS had his bout on Wednesday at home and school and tried rather valiantly to stick it out when he went in thinking he was better, only to be sent home later. Hope all is calm and settled and a peaceful weekend for all!

  12. Amy

    I’ve been teaching for 12 years and have had MANY kids on The Spectrum. (Most notably last year’s 8th graders. Good lord, what a challenging, sensitive, lovable bunch.) And every time you write about Monkey’s school experience I understand my kids a little bit more. I can read professional stuff all day long and try my hardest to find my way into my kids’ funny little heads, but the perspective of a parent, especially one that’s really on top of things, is invaluable. So thanks.

  13. addy

    So, here’s hopin’ the weekend is better. At least without “occurences” ……

  14. NAB

    Wow. Just wow. I’ve been reading your blog for a few weeks–not sure how I got pointed your way. Anyway, our Aspie daughter is now 20 and going off to her third year of college on Sunday. I remember those first days of school and waiting for that phone call… Hang in there. It does get better. And, my grandma used to say that bad things come in threes–so you should be good to go for a while.

  15. Catherine

    Well, I certainly hope your body fluids…erm…regulate themselves quite speedily.

    About Monkey….well, I will be that annoying parent who has been there. AND BEEN THERE.

    My eldest is an Aspie, and boy is it a trip and a half. AND she’s a girl, and she’s so beautiful that no one at first will believe that she has a neuro difference. Because this is about you guys and not about me, I won’t tell you the rest of the story.

    I know whatever I say you will probably second guess yourself, and me, and your child, and still think I am a major wetwipe for bums.

    That said, here goes…

    I know you are a good parent–probably an excellent one, based upon what I read. But I really hope that you don’t sugarcoat for the Aspie either about his difference, nor about societal expectations. My daughter absolutely knows the difference between “the things we think and the things we say” and hasn’t made THAT particular social misstep in years, despite winning most of the math/geo bee kind of activities. Don’t even ask me about other social things…I’m still embarrassed and still workin’ on it.

    You may think this is beneath everyone, (I DID!!) but we did some role plays with conversations, talked about what other people think/perceptions, and came up with things to say.

    I probably know ahead of time that this post is more therapeutic for me and less helpful for you, but OK.

    Go Licorice.


  16. Heather

    Oy, that sounds like a doozie of a day. Hope things at least balance out to somewhere between euphoria and chaos ;)

  17. Cele

    Oh the rules thingie. Burp is of that naturel If the teacher says we are doing it A, B, C, D nobody had better do it A, C, B, D. Oh the humanity of it all. But we survive. And you and Monkey will to, thank heavens.

  18. Half Assed Kitchen

    No one can describe a bad day like you. Fingers crossed for next week!

  19. liz

    Whoa. I hope next week is better.

  20. Stimey

    Oh, man. All kinds of fun squished into one day, huh? I’m so sorry. School starts in two weeks for us and I am terrified. I really enjoyed the summer when I didn’t have to worry about phone calls from the school. Sigh.

  21. Katie in MA

    You go to the strangest lengths to lose a few pounds, m’dear. Hope *everyone* is having a better week!

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