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by Mir on June 26, 2010 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony

The kids came back tonight, and they were taller and bigger and I couldn’t stop marveling at how just two weeks made them different.

Monkey looked like he was gaining weight on the cruise, actually, and two more weeks of voracious eating have settled on his frame in a way that renders him less the spindly waif I’ve known for so many years, and more a sturdy boychild who could tip into adolescence at any moment. We made him hop on the Wii Fit to weigh him; it claims he gained 8 pounds in the last month.

Chickadee is now mere inches away from being my height. She will be taller than me by the time she starts high school, but she still doesn’t believe it. She is shedding the skin of childhood ever-faster, and two weeks in one fell swoop catches in my throat and seems more than I can swallow. She is so lovely and so goofy; so lovely BECAUSE she is so goofy.

They asked to swim and although it was time for dinner we said of course. (more…)

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After this, I’ll stop talking about it

by Mir on June 25, 2010 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

Hey, did you know I went on a cruise? Maybe I mentioned it? At some point?

Yeah, still kind of riding that high.

Anyway, if you want to hear EVEN MORE about the cruise, you could go listen to this podcast, where I’m chatting with longtime readers Patricia and Michael, who also happen to be a travel agents and cruise junkies. (Can I say that? Please do not confuse “cruise junkies” with other kinds of junkies….)

We go off on about fifty different tangents, and discuss everything from the goofiness of my children to wizened old men taking their trophy wives on vacation. Really. Also, I learned from listening to this that I say “you know” entirely too often. You know, I should stop doing that. Crap.

Anyway, it might be worth a listen. Particularly if you were thinking to yourself, “Self, I just wish I could hear Mir say ‘you know’ six or seven hundred times.” I’m a giver. You know.

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Love crosses its fingers

by Mir on June 24, 2010 in Growing, It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

I know that every year I get a little loopy about my garden; in much the same way I can barely believe I’m an adult (with a driver’s license and kids and everything), it still amazes me that I can grow things that turn into delicious food. I must’ve slept my way through botany in high school, because it still blows my mind. Soil and seeds and water make FOOD? It’s like some kind of wonderful black magic.

Of course, it’s also a pretty nearly-instantly gratifying kind of thing, too. Plant, water, wait a month or two, enjoy the fruits (and veggies!) of your labors. For a devotee of Short Attention Span Theater such as myself, that’s a pretty rewarding payoff in a not very long period of time.

Of course, there are demons to slay along the way: Two years ago I focused on vanquishing the slugs, and last year I dueled the tomato horn worms in the Battle of Squick. This garden thing is not without its trials, is what I’m saying. (more…)

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We’ve resorted to torturing the dog

by Mir on June 23, 2010 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, Oh look! Something furry!!

The children are away with their dad, and the first few years here in the south we used their vacation to do Big Projects here in the house. Now that we’ve run out of patience and money (ha!), summer holds no such drudgery over our heads, and while it’s awfully nice to have a little time off, I just plain miss them. Because, yeah, it’s nice to be able to sleep naked or whatever, but not as nice as having everyone home.

And the progression is the same, every time they’re gone for two weeks: The first week is AWESOME! Woooo! Let’s eat dinner on the couch! Let’s go to the movies and see something rated R! Let’s go out with friends! (Uh, except that we didn’t actually do any of that, this time. I was away and then home and sick and then Otto was away. We fail at partying, yo.) At the beginning of the second week I find myself doing things like clothes shopping for the kids. And then by the middle of the second week (now) I’m counting down ’til their weekend return.

Anyway, in just a few more days all will be back to normal. And no one will celebrate more than the dog, who is currently the focus of all our parental inclinations to torment our offspring. (more…)

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Remember that thing?

by Mir on June 22, 2010 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

Hey, remember when we were updating Five Full Plates all the time, and we had GOALS and MISSIONS and we did THINGS? Wasn’t that cool? We’re taking the summer off, on account of… ummm… we got tired of being so darn virtuous all the time. Yes, that’s it. But after a long period of silence I thought a bit of an update was in order.

You know, because I’m endlessly fascinating and you lie awake at night wondering how I am. Um. What? No…? Whatever, man. Here’s a bit of a Full Plates update on me, just in case you care. (Which you totally do. I can tell.)

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Vel-Shih-Poo

by Mir on June 21, 2010 in Oh look! Something furry!!

Someone asked how Licorice was doing with our reunion and how she dealt with her first week away from us. I’m pleased to report that she still maintains all of the endearing qualities she had when we left, like that her tail is very waggy, she makes that adorable “murph!” sound when you pet her and/or she’s really happy, and her breath—despite the finest water additives, targeted treats, and dental rawhides money can buy—still threatens to melt your face off whenever she decides you need a good lickin’.

In other words, she’s absolutely fine and the reunion was very sweet.

On the other hand, never let it be said that Licorice isn’t a dog with her own special complexities. Much as many dogs and owners start to look like one another after long-term ownership, I am coming to grips with the fact that the longer I own this dog, the more neurotic she becomes. Like, um, someone who lives in this house. And prefers to remain anonymous. STOP LOOKING AT ME. (more…)

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On the loose ends list

by Mir on June 19, 2010 in Detritus, Haven't been hit by lightning yet!

I keep a running list of random things in my brain that I mean to blog about “sometime” for whatever reason. On the one hand, I’d probably remember more of them (and actually get around to writing about them) if I wrote them down. On the other hand, I kind of figure I’m a big enough dork that if I don’t write them down, it saves me from an even deeper level of geekdom.

(On the third hand—who has a third hand?—think of all the wondrous world problems I may have had the brain power to solve, were it not for random blog topics, all the words to every song on Beauty and the Beat, and all of the other useless crap I have tucked up in there. Just sayin’.)

Anyway. I did mean to update you on a few things. Because I’m swell that way. (more…)

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Love fills the spaces

by Mir on June 17, 2010 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience", Offspring: ecstasy and agony

Even while blogging during the cruise itself, I found it hard to capture in words what was the most amazing during our trip. I mean, it was amazing that my father did this for all of us; it’s the kind of vacation we never would’ve experienced, otherwise. And it was wonderful to spend time with far-flung family, and watch all the kids play together, and have our dinner waiter both prance around the dining room every night with Gerber (by the third night or so, Gerber would happily lift his arms up to him for his ride) and remember that the other kids would each be needing a glass of milk.

[Sidebar: Monkey got all teary on the last day because he wanted to take the waiter home with him. I suggested the kids make him cards and Monkey---ever our darling Literal Boy---wrote something about how "I know they don't pay you very much money so I'm going to suggest the ship gives you a raise." After a brief and not altogether successful conversation about how that was perhaps not the most politically correct thing to say, he changed it to "I know you work very hard so I'm going to suggest the ship give you a raise." Phew.]

I know my father was hoping this trip would help bring the family closer together, and it did in ways I know I hadn’t really even considered. (more…)

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A funny thing happened on the way to Atlanta

by Mir on June 16, 2010 in My name is Grumplestiltskin

I had a great time here in Philadelphia, and felt a small pang of regret as I headed to the airport yesterday and everyone else was headed out on a tour of the city and a group dinner to follow. “That’s okay!” I thought to myself. “I am going HOME! I would much rather be home than be social with people, so that’s fine.” I said my goodbyes and packed up and headed to the airport around 4:00 for my 6:00 flight.

They’re doing construction at the Philadelphia airport. I don’t know what they’re doing, exactly, I just know that I feel more like a rat in a maze than usual, here, winding my way through the various blocked off passageways and passing the “pardon our dust!” signs. But eventually I smuggled all of my contraband through Security (this time, I was pulled aside to be patted down, but my HIGHLY DANGEROUS HAIR LOTION went by unnoticed), but in due time I made it to my gate.

Which was utterly mobbed. (more…)

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Best-laid plans

by Mir on June 15, 2010 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!

In the continuing saga of You Can’t Take Me Anywhere which is, in fact, MY ENTIRE LIFE, I had a bit of a situation here yesterday morning.

And I’m not even talking about the fact that the water in this hotel tastes so horrendous that the coffee I brewed in the little machine they provide tasted like I’d brewed tea using old underpants in place of teabags.

Look; I’ve never had to head straight to a conference after spending a week on a ship, and if you think I didn’t agonize for WEEKS over what and how to pack, given these circumstances, you must be new here. What we finally did was manage to pack my stuff and Otto’s stuff into one large and one small suitcase; although my stuff filled most of the larger suitcase, this would allow me to take just the smaller one with me, post-cruise, when heading off to be all professional while sending Otto home with most of the laundry. I thought it was a brilliant plan. (more…)

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