Enrich this
In lieu of prepping for and heading out to the interview which I was supposed to have today, I am of course accomplishing all sorts of necessary tasks around the house. The place is spotless; the laundry is done; the driveway is shovelled; and I have alphabetized everyone’s sock drawers.
Aaaaaaaahahahahhaaha! Don’t you love it when I’m ridiculous? I might’ve fooled everyone, too, if I hadn’t thrown in the obvious lie about the laundry being done. That’s me, just straying a wee bit over the top and causing the entire story to collapse. Alas.
Okay, what I’ve actually been doing today is exercising this lovely brain of mine, puzzling through many of the pressing issues of our time. I have so. Shut up.
read more…
Bad karma, table for 1
I do not consider it a superlative sign when my second interview is “postponed” at 6:00 PM the night before I’m supposed to have it. The explanation offered was reasonable, and you’ll all be pleased to know that I resisted screaming, crying, or mentioning that the only way to make it up to me now is to hire me.
On the bright side, now I don’t have to shave my legs tomorrow. See how I always grasp that silver lining? Yeah.
The real reason I need a job
On Monday, we went to the McDonald’s Play Place to celebrate Martin Luther King Day with the rest of the free world. We all said, “Hurray for Martin Luther King, Jr. and his pioneering work! Also, it is a crime against humanity for school to be closed on such a cold day. All you kids go into these brightly-colored plastic tunnels and don’t come out until you feel copious amount of brotherly love!”
And we mothers sat outside the Kiddie Habitrail and chatted and drank our diet cokes and hollered the occasional encouraging comment to our offspring.
“Yes, I see you! Great climbing!”
“Inside voices, please.”
“DO NOT LICK STRANGERS!”
And so on.
read more…
Role model?
I’ve had quite a week. And it’s only Tuesday!
Now, usually when I say that, I’m slamming my forehead down repeatedly on the desk. This time, it’s more like I’m pinching myself and waiting to wake up.
Or just, you know, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Anyway. I got an interesting phone call this evening. Just one more piece of the unfolding mystery of my 2005.
read more…
Zero, my hero: randomness while I hum Schoolhouse Rock tunes
Today’s entry brought to you by the letter C, the number 0, and Tide With Bleach Alternative. Because I said so. Don’t make me come back there.
Too Cold
Call me a wimp, but once the temperature hits honest-to-goodness 0 degrees, I’m all done with winter. And this morning–as an added bonus–we have a wind chill advisory. Blah blah cold front blah blah frigid temps blah blah risk of frostbite. Translation: It is really goddamn cold out there, and also windy, and meteorologists have to feed their families, too, so please act like this is startling information and also remember to button up.
read more…
Exhale…
Well, it was an exciting day, but the kids are asleep, the kitchen is clean, and the downstairs is picked up.
Now… who wants to join me for a cup of tea and some of my homemade banana cranberry oatmeal bread?
Change is in the air
Apparently I’m not the only one reinventing myself in 2005. Do you think it’s something in the water…?
Behold, the Daughter Formerly Known As Scragglepuss. Do you have a daughter? If you do, you know that every little girl hits a point where she decides that She Must Have Long Hair. Because it’s Girly. And Pretty. And Princess-y. And I don’t know about you, but even though I have long hair, myself, this is a phenomenon that makes me want to puncture my own eardrums with pages ripped from “The Feminine Mystique,” because listening to my offspring wax lyrical about how she might not be an actual girl without long hair touches something very deep within myself… namely, incredulity. Anyway. Perhaps your little princess-wannabe has beautiful hair. We hate you. Haha! Not really! We just hate her hair. Because—as the picture demonstrates—Chickadee’s hair, even whilst approaching her waist, is only slightly more substantial and no more attractive than spun sugar. It’s long, yes. Pretty, no. Tangly, snarly, flyaway; yes, yes, and good lord why didn’t I have all boys?
And little did I know; one good detangling session and my creature of habit would turn to me and say, “I think I’m ready for you to cut my hair off.”
read more…
My 15 seconds
Thanks to the lovely folks at Mosaic Minds, I am this month’s Chick Pick in their “Kindred Spirits” edition.
I’m humbled that they found me interesting enough to write about, and thank the ever-talented Beverly for doing such a nice write-up. Check out the entire issue, won’t you?
And the hits keep on comin’
The latest in a series of positive omens: I finally found my missing deodorant. The skin-conditioning deodorant… on a day when I’d shaved.
It’s like the heavens are smiling directly at me, I tell you.
Me and my boots, you dirty gutterbrains
My father is on vacation. Thank God. Just wanted to clarify. And when he gets back, he’s not allowed to read this post. Or most of the comments from the previous post. Mkay? Thanks.
That said, let’s talk about the power of a great pair of shoes, my pets.
read more…