Zero, my hero: randomness while I hum Schoolhouse Rock tunes

By Mir
January 18, 2005

Today’s entry brought to you by the letter C, the number 0, and Tide With Bleach Alternative. Because I said so. Don’t make me come back there.

Too Cold
Call me a wimp, but once the temperature hits honest-to-goodness 0 degrees, I’m all done with winter. And this morning–as an added bonus–we have a wind chill advisory. Blah blah cold front blah blah frigid temps blah blah risk of frostbite. Translation: It is really goddamn cold out there, and also windy, and meteorologists have to feed their families, too, so please act like this is startling information and also remember to button up.

No Fair
Chickadee still loves her hair, this morning, and much to my delight and relief she pops out of bed looking lovely; ten seconds with the brush (which she can now do a decent job of, all by herself!) and she’s good to go. Great joy all around! Well, almost. Monkey is a little bit bent out of shape on account of he doesn’t have anything “newish and ‘citing” you know. I almost managed to keep a straight face while he announced that he was gonna grow his hair out like Chickadee’s so he could be “flippy” too. I told him I was game, and suggested he share that excellent idea with his father.

Laundry Laugh
In yet another demonstration of how differently our minds work, one can glean a lot about parenting by surveying the children’s underpants. (Okay, that came out a lot more creepy than I meant.) The kids have a separate stash of socks, underwear, and jammies at Daddy’s house. Of course, every so often I end up with some of these items in my laundry, and vice versa, and we do our best to launder and return. So today I’m sorting laundry, and here’s the underwear I bought for the kids: clearance items all, and fairly generic. Now here’s the undies Fun Daddy purchased: character, glow-in-the-dark stuff. My son has been allowed to venture out with a glowing bat signal on his crotch… for those late night emergencies when the power is out, I suppose.

What a Waste
I happened to buy a little t-shirt on clearance last week which I put on this morning, and as I walked back into the bathroom to brush my hair I caught sight of myself in the mirror and stopped dead. Ever have a moment like that? This layering shirt I grabbed because it was a few bucks fits me just so and I looked… awesome. I vowed to return to the store and look for more, and then I covered it all up with a gigantic bulky sweater because did I mention that it is zero degrees outside thankyouverymuch?? Has anyone seen my boobs…? They were here a minute ago….

No, Really
I had a dream last night that I took the kids to see the Corn Palace. It was the middle of summer, and much to their delight, the walls started turning into popcorn due to the heat. You know who you are, you who are causing me to have WEIRD dreams… knock it off. That was bizarre even for me.


  1. Michele

    California is pretty nice–sorry but it’s true. I could, never, ever and I mean it, live in place that gets that cold. I will visit places that are close to that cold, but I will not let my 100% born and raised cali-girl body deal with that stuff–I’m a wimp.

    Plus I don’t look good all bundeled up in winter clothes. I don’t even like to wear Jackets if it doesn’t go with my clothes.

  2. Mike

    Yeah, Michele, CA rocks, doesn’t it? Oooops, sorry Mir…reminder of how we’re all running around out here in shorts and sleveless t’s not precisely well-timed, huh? Well, if it’s any comfort, we’re mostly _not._ We get wimpy and wear coats when it’s 55!

  3. Amy

    I feel your pain, Mir – its butt-ugly cold in Kansas, too!

    I’ve been to the Corn Palace! Really! Not a place to visit in one’s dreams, tho…I’d try for the Bahamas, if I were you. :)

  4. RockStar Mommy

    I love shirts that make me look like that. Unfortunately, I haven’t looked awesome in a shirt since before Thanksgiving!

    Oh, and if Monkey grows his hair out and does the flippy thing? You BETTER post pics ;)

  5. Amanda B.

    Your kids sound like they are a lot of fun. I can’t wait to have monkies of my own. :)

    You work it in that tshirt sista!

  6. Ben

    a) have monkey watch old Partridge Family shows. Then see if he wants to grow his hair out.

    b) I loave long hair on women. Simply loave it. But of course, I don’t have to take care of it, so that’s easy for me to do. Plus it looks so Nice and Easy to take care of on TV.

    c) At the risk of furthering my reputation as a dirty old bear, the t-shirt and its occupant sounds awesome.

    d) I’m guilty of having superhero underwear for my kids. In fact, just the other day we were in a restroom somewhere “cuz I have to poop” and my son after checking his underwear proceeded to sing (loudly) “Scooby doo doo, where are you, you’ve got some things to do now” (plop) (repeat)

    5) I better quit now, this is getting (!) silly.

  7. Edgar

    I guess i’m not the one causing you the wacky dreams, but i invite you to my blog once again, share them with me and read mine. And if mine are infectious, girl, you’ll pray to be back in the corn palace.

    Oh–i’ve just realized i made a mistake in my last comment: i didn’t understand that Chickadee was the Scragglepuss. I thought she was a third, older kid. (You know, i’m a foreigner, not that good in English, ‘scragglepuss’ is not in the Oxford, etc.) My apologies.

  8. Kym

    Oh come on… you know that a little part of you really does admire the glow in the dark underwear that fun daddy bought.

    BTW… I think I was getting server errors yesterday when trying to post… but I love the new haircut. And appreciate the associated hits with the mention in Chick Picks. I’ll take my fame by association. Im not proud.

  9. The Zero Boss

    And here I got all excited when I saw the title. This post isn’t about me at all!

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