Life has been uneventful here, of late. Yep. Nothing's happening. Booooring. In the last month: 1) I got laid off. [insert sad trombone here] 2) School ended, and I now have a senior and a junior and SHUT YOUR MOUTH I DO NOT. 3) Chickadee got a job. 4) Monkey continues to insist he does NOT need to learn how to drive, despite a deadline of this week for our trip to the DMV to test for his permit. 5) We sold our camper. 6) We opened the pool and paid the children each a dollar to plunge into the cold water, as is our custom. 7) It rained a bunch and my garden is going berserk. 8) My dad and...
Remember the old saying about how a kid's parents get dumber and dumber until the kid is an adult and then---magically---the parents start getting smart again? We're going through that right now, and I always thought it meant that hahaha, the kids would think I was dumb when really I wasn't, BUT NO, I've come to believe that I am truly losing brain cells as they get older. My poor kids, and their dumb ol' mom who can barely function anymore. For a while there, Monkey was very fond of declaring, "It's okay, I'm a doctor!" in response to any sort of doubting of his ability. This morphed into,...
The last time I tried to sell something on Craigslist, I received a slew of weirdo spammy responses about how "I come right now and pay you twice your asking price" followed by "and then you ship item to my little cousin in Upper Slobovia, yes?" and never anything that led even remotely close to an actual sale. I listed my item (a decent Yamaha student trumpet; anybody need a trumpet?) twice and had no luck either time. So when Otto declared he would list our old, peeling patio furniture on Craigslist and handle everything, I may have snickered to myself a bit. He listed it for twice what I...
Theoretically I could just say, "Oh hey I have a new post over at Alpha Mom you should go read" and link to it, but I have a couple of dog-related things to share (which, granted, have nothing to do with the Alpha Mom post) so I am just going to put everything here and call it a post. Because... reasons. Dog Matter #1: Licorice has developed a super-annoying habit of licking the kitchen floor. I don't mean occasionally, or just that she scoops up food I drop (that's why you have a dog, after all, so that you don't have to vacuum as often), but that she will park herself in one of two...
... every time I let the dogs out, Licorice comes back in covered in twigs and leaves and mysterious little burrs, all "I'M A WILD ANIMAL! YOU CAN'T TAME ME!" Meanwhile, Duncan comes back inside sneezing. Because he is a delicate puppy-flower, and he has hay fever. ... both children are suddenly complaining that they "don't have any clothes that fit," as if it's somehow MY fault that they grew since last year. Also, at 15 and 17, they seem unable to grasp the concept that 10 minutes before the bus comes is not the most optimal time to start demanding I find them some larger shorts. (I'm...
All I could get Chickadee to tell me she wanted for her birthday was permission to install Snapchat. (Owing to an unfortunate bending of the house rules a few years ago, that particular app was off the table for a while, because I am a Giant Meaniepants.) I let her go the entire day without mentioning it, then downloaded it to her phone right before she went to bed that night. Then, of course, I had to install it, myself, and it was even more cringetastic than this: It got me thinking, though, that as inept as I am, it's always worth it to meet the kids wherever they are in terms of their...
They say you should be careful what you wish for, you know. Sometimes I think I WISH MY CHILDREN WERE MORE SELF-SUFFICIENT and then... I have to learn how to let them be more self-sufficient, no matter what that looks like. It's kind of agonizing. Because if they would JUST... it'd be so much easier IF... but don't you SEEEEEEEEE...? Hell hath no fury like a control freak thwarted, is my point. But hey, my kids will be adults in just a few short years (hang on, I just need to breathe into this paper bag for a minute), and time marches on whether I like it or not. As scary as it is, I'm...
It's been... kind of a hard month. February, man. February just blows chunks, under the best of circumstances. I don't know why, but we should probably just accept that as fact. The days are short, the weather is wonky, etc. (Mind you, I do not miss the endless days of snow we had in February up north, but even here in Georgia, the weather is confused and unpredictable. TIME FOR A SNOW DAY = no snow at all. SUPER WARM DAY is then followed by CARNIVAL OF ICE, and so on.) The other day, Otto and I were headed out to An Unpleasant Event (first rule of Vague Club: We capitalize things to pretend...
I started off the week thinking, "Huh. It's almost March. THE SUCK IS NEARLY OVER." But I guess I forgot I still had a whole week to get through and that I am me. This past week included: Taxes, a giant box of ordered-on-the-cheap Christmas candy which turned out to have a short expiration date (and Amazon gave me my money back but now I have 15 pounds to lose and a GIANT FREAKING BOX OF DELICIOUS CANDY ABOUT TO EXPIRE), the disappearance of several key lunch-packing containers (but no one knows anything about that! IT'S DARK MAGIC, they just DISAPPEARED), a snow day completely void of...
