Yesterday turned out to be kind of a crazy day; Wednesdays are always my busiest day, anyway, and yesterday had a few extra wrenches thrown in for fun, like the emergency orthodontic appointment because someone who swears they aren't eating things they shouldn't nonetheless broke her braces. AHEM. Anyway, finally the day was mostly over and we were sitting down to dinner, and the kids seemed bent on out-obnoxiousing each other, but in kind of a funny way, at least. The meal was turning out to be a rather raucous affair. And finally after the fourth or fifth time one or both children...
Plenty of parents dream of their offspring becoming doctors, lawyers, superstars, and world-renowned scientists. We all have big dreams for our kids. I just hope that my parents always hoped that someday their darling daughter would grow up to talk about her boobs on the Internet. Because if so, dude, they TOTALLY scored. Now that the students have flooded back into town I am reminded of one of the current fads I find puzzling, and---not coincidentally---one way in which I suspect I am a little bit strange. It seems to me that every young woman in this town has an entire closet full of...
I am on a quest to make my children more self-sufficient. Because I hope that someday they'll move out. Part of my quest involves mastery-by-inches when it comes to the laundry. Chickadee knows how to do her own laundry, and sometimes she even does. But for the most part I take care of the parts involving the washing machine and dryer. It used to be that laundry magically took care of itself, you know, and bit by bit I'm trying to factor myself out of the equation. First it was "nothing gets washed unless it's in the hamper." Then it was "nothing gets washed unless the hamper is placed in...
There are times when I think that if the phrase "attitude of gratitude" was a person, I would be tempted to punch it square in the nose of its smug, righteous little face. It just sounds... smarmy. Holier-than-thou-ungrateful-and-possibly-unwashed-self. Fake and pious. That aspect of it I can do without. On the other hand, there's something about that phrase that I love. It's short and simple and to the point. It's a great reminder to myself even as I'm grappling with raising complicated no-longer-so-small people who can sometimes bear a striking resemblance to Veruca Salt. So, yes, it can...
The first three days of school were better than I'd dared to hope, and when I walked Monkey over to school yesterday, I decided to stop in and chat with his teacher for a minute. She confirmed that all was well and that she was pleasantly surprised at how problem-free it had been, so far. "Oh, just WAIT," I laughed. "We're still in the honeymoon period! Don't be lulled into a false sense of security!" And we chuckled together and talked about school supplies and then I walked back home with a spring in my step, no idea exactly how prophetic I'd just been. It's probably better that way, but...
I'm starting to worry, a little bit, that maybe I've gotten myself into an unhealthy relationship. And I'm just as surprised as you are, because I am---by all accounts, if I do say so, myself---a strong and independent woman with a clear sense of right and wrong and personal boundaries. If anything, I'm usually TOO quick to dismiss someone for having transgressed in a way that is (to me) insurmountable. And that's why I find myself really puzzled by my current situation. I mean, love is a beautiful thing. When you love someone, and they love you back, you're supposed to be good to each...
I've been mildly ill for, oh, I don't know... a month? Close to a month. Just sort of generally crappy-feeling. Tired. Blecky. (That's a scientific term, by the way.) Sore throat. And then this weird thing where biting down on my left side caused pain to shoot through my jaw and into my ear. So I did the logical thing, which was to go see my doctor. Except not really; it took me a month to go see my doctor, during which time I just chewed on the right and complained a lot. But after basically laying around like a dying swan for most of the weekend, Otto insisted I go to the doctor, so I did....
We're headed back to the Big City today to discuss Chickadee's rash. AGAIN. School starts up in a couple of weeks, and thus far our summer with The Experts at Emory has yielded... oh, that's right, A HORRIBLE RASH. Technically the rash is not their fault, but I must say that my hopes that we'd finally resolve this little problem---you know, three years after it began---are fading. The rash itself, however? NOT FADING. But at least we've had her off steroids and any sort of antihistamine in preparation for the repeat nickel patch test which... was canceled. Awesome. [Sidebar: I may just climb...
Do you experience stress? Are you bored? Do you need a break from the everyday? Are your children whining that summer is boring? You should ask the Internet about VACATION™ to see if it might be right for you. VACATION™ has been used to treat Regular Life for years, and is the number one Internet-approved method for slacking off. VACATION™ is the simplest, most effective way to develop an appreciation of your own bed, kitchen, "alone time," and access to over 200 channels even when nothing is on. VACATION™ can help you reconnect with your appreciation of silence, and...
