I hate it when I wake up with a migraine so intense, I lay in bed with a pillow over my head and whimper for a while before dragging myself into the (bright! too bright! TURN OFF THE SUN!) bathroom for my meds. I hate it when I go back to sleep for a while, and when I wake up, my $&#^@! head still hurts. I hate it when I force myself to get up and take a shower, and about halfway through my shower I realize there is no way I'm leaving the house. I hate it when I'm trying to sleep with wet hair and my pillow's all soggy. I hate it when I miss church. I hate it when I sleep all morning and...
I fought the cold, and the cold won. *hack* *cough* *snort* We're playing hooky from church. The children are thrilled (a little too thrilled, if you ask me). But I started losing my voice yesterday, and this morning as children circled my bed like wild animals, I pushed up on one elbow to tell them to get out. In my mind, I said, "Guys, go downstairs and give me a minute to get up!" In reality, I said, "G... g... d... ... .i.. ee.. a... *hackhack*" That pretty much answered the question of whether I would be making it to choir. So we're home, and the children are running amock in their...
Is free lunch still a bargain if it makes you sick enough that you have to leave work early? Even I (the bargain queen) don't think so. The kids are eating cereal directly out of the boxes in front of the television. If you must call CPS, could you ask them to bring some ginger ale? Thanks.
I ask you, is there anything more pitiful than a mild-mannered child whose reaction to the sickies is a gravitational pull to the couch and PBS? It almost makes me forget that everything about George Shrinks drives me completely insane. (Why is he so small? How did he get that way? Does he ever actually shrink? What a COINCIDENCE that their last name is "Shrinks" and he JUST HAPPENS to be so small! Excuse me while I vomit! Why does everyone on that show have such weird hair? What is it about this insipid premise that hypnotizes my children??) Behold, Portrait of the Monkey as a Pitiful...
No, not that. This: Monkey: I don't want to take a shower. I love you! *wrapping himself around my leg* Me: I love you too, but you need a shower. Clothes off, please. Monkey: But I'm cold. Me: Then go get in the water; it's warm there. Monkey: But I'm still cold here in the water! Me: Yes, your life is dreadful. Get your hair wet. Monkey: It's cold, Mama! Me: *feeling water* It's fine, sweetie. Here's your shampoo. Scrubadub. Monkey: Can I get out now? Me: Noooo, let's go quick and then you can get out. Here's your scrubbie. Don't forget your feet. Monkey: Mama, I need you to hug me and...
So, uh, sorry about that entry last night. I'm having a wee little problem that sometimes occurs when your hormones are outta whack. No, I'm not talking about the PMS-ish mood swings (many thanks and big smooches to those who were unfortunate enough to encounter me last night) or the other bizarre symptoms that the hormonal rollercoaster sometimes creates. I'm talking about the circle of hell that rhymes with beast. (Men: this is your cue to run.) It's been so long since I had one of those lovely episodes that I probably didn't catch it right away. So when I did, I said to myself ("Self, I...
So, this weekend. Yeah. Part of me is very pleased to have gotten done everything I needed to do, and to find myself sitting here on Sunday night (before 10, even!) with things in order. And many of my friends/acquaintances are dealing with various levels of serious illness, ranging from the truly frightening to the plain ol' crappy winter cold/flu. I have no right to complain. But I'm just so damn good at it. And I believe people should play to their strengths, you know? It's February. It's February in New England. My son has the mother of all mosquito bites on his arm. Fkwaa? Why yes, that...
I was supposed to go to the gym and work out this morning with a friend. I do not belong to the gym; she thought she had a free pass, but then couldn't find it. She called me back later to say she found it but it had already expired. I was sort of bummed, but then I remembered that I'm a lazy slug and didn't want to work out, anyway. Still, I'm as interested in fitness as the next health-conscious person. I have an elliptical trainer here at home, which I gave some thought to using. You know, since I was already in the workout mood. But then I realized that rather than working out, I could...
I feel like my entire life is in flux. I'm on the cusp of something important that is just beyond my grasp. I know it's there and I'm just streeeeeeeeetching towards it and chanting "patience, patience, patience" in my head. But in the meantime? I gagged a huge and impressive gag while the nurse was swabbing my throat, and she didn't get a great sample. So the rapid strep test was negative. I was sent away with the cheerful news that they'll call to let me know if the regular test comes up positive, because "it sure does look like strep!" On this particular issue, it makes good sense to nap...
