Love isn’t always what you pictured

You may have noticed a lack of Monkey stories this week. That’s because he’s away with his dad, and we are trying to muddle along in the space he leaves behind when he’s gone. Specifically, that space denotes a marked lack of: dimples, jokes that make no sense whatsoever, and hugs that squish the air right out of me. (I miss two out of three of those things a LOT.)

While my kids are always on my mind, here or not, Monkey’s been on my mind even moreso than usual. I share bits and piece of the immediate, here, but thanks to the kindness and encouragement of fellow mom-in-the-spectrum-trenches Shannon Des Roches Rosa, I finally sat down and wrote about our diagnosis journey, the way that only hindsight can tie it together. I struggled with it; sometimes I don’t know if I can explain how “wishing it was different” and “loving him exactly how he is” can intertwine and coexist, even as they seem to contradict one another. They don’t.

This Love Thursday, I tip my metaphorical cap twice: first, to those insightful rockers who noted that you can’t always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need; and second, to the beautiful and perfect young man who has taught me more about grace in the last ten years than I’d learned in the previous nearly-30 years.

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Comments { 27 }

Revenge?

At last check, Otto was still carrying only about 17% of the vote in his favor on the cookies-and-milk issue. Honestly, I’m surprised it’s that high. And as I emailed several folks as your thoughtful and gag-laden comments rolled in, I think a part of my objection on this issue is the delivery method. It’s the DRINKING of the cookie sludge that offends me. Were he to eat it with a spoon, I would be less bothered. Why? I don’t know. Perhaps because then you’re acknowledging that it’s not a liquid. Drinking chunky things is just nasty.

ANYWAY. Otto is bearing up under the strain of being COMPLETELY SMACKED DOWN pretty well, and he is not a man given to grudges, but I strongly suspect he accidentally-on-purpose planned out what happened this morning.

For one thing, we’re unlikely to have an entire Otto Week, as previously suggested, because he’s just left town for the rest of the week. The jerk. (more…)

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Comments { 31 }

The way the cookie crumbles

“Must you MOCK ME so?” asked Otto, in response to yesterday’s entry.

I considered his question for a moment. “Yes. Yes, I must. Thank you for asking.”

[Do you ever wonder what keeps him here? I wonder, quite often. I mean, Otto is smart, funny, charming, capable, and totally hot. All I bring to this relationship is a couple of high-maintenance children, copious amounts of mockery, repeated requests for popcorn, and a dog with periodic digestive issues. I can only conclude that I must be positively mind-blowing in bed.]

Otto rolled his eyes. Naturally, I took that as a challenge.

“I think maybe we’re going to have Otto Week on the blog, in fact,” I continued. “All Otto, All The Time. This is going to be FUN.” (more…)

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Comments { 110 }

Not a firecracker

Well, yesterday was kind of a bust. We had plans to go out to the fireworks last night, of course, but then Chickadee got one of those random fevers, the kind where I notice she’s sort of red-cheeked and glassy-eyed, and when I asked if she was feeling okay she said, “Well, my head kind of hurts,” and then I felt her head and took her temperature while she was very limp and tragic. Once I declared we’d have to skip the fireworks, though, she had a MIRACULOUS RECOVERY, replete with MUCH WHINING about how it wasn’t fair and she wanted to go and she was PERFECTLY FINE. You know, except for the whole fever thing. So.

She demonstrated her wellness by (shortly thereafter) pitching one of her signature fits over something inconsequential, leading one of us to comment that “Emo Girl is all Emo!” which of course led to even greater dramatics, which then led to her being grounded. And the only thing worse than being sick is being sick AND grounded. On the 4th of July. It was kind of sad, really. (more…)

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Comments { 18 }

We’re gonna have a party, yeah

I took Chickadee grocery shopping yesterday, and she begged—begged!—for a watermelon. I enjoy watching her beg; I didn’t tell her I’d been planning to buy one, anyway.

We came home and unloaded everything, and the next time I walked into the kitchen, I saw this:

Apparently Mr. Watermelon Head is ready to give his life in pursuit of liberty and the American Way. Or so I’m told.

Have a safe and happy 4th of July, everyone!

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Comments { 3 }

Two cool things

Today I have almost nothing for you; I am busy continuing Operation Kill Fleas Immediately If Not Sooner, and that involves a lot of vacuuming and laundry and also bathing a dog who is really not all that jazzed about finding herself in the sink. AGAIN.

Also I am trying to spend some quality time with my children, which would be a lot easier if they would stop doing things like shoving garbage in their closets and then swearing that they’d cleaned their rooms (and then getting all offended when their jerkery is discovered). AHEM. (Jerkery is SO a word, by the way.) Anyway.

Two very cool things happened to me lately, though: (more…)

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Comments { 14 }

Sometimes love makes me itch

Love thy neighbor. Love thy neighbor. LOVE THY NEIGHBOR, DAMMIT, is what I keep chanting over and over to myself. Even though my neighbors have not only single-handedly infested our block with feral cats, they’re the reason we spent more money than I can talk about without crying on a big guns extermination because our “rats” turned out to be feral kittens.

And now, now, my darlings, I chant LOVE THY NEIGHBOR to a steady beat in my head, because now, the CAT CRAP TRIFECTA is complete: Licorice has fleas. Even though she’s on a flea preventive. And they’re cat fleas, OF COURSE, courtesy of the feral cats tromping around in the yard. So we are treating and bathing and flea-bombing and oh yes, don’t forget, Licorice has severe flea allergy dermatitis, so even though we caught this very early, she’s itchy and red and miserable.

And it’s crappy and annoying and itchy and expensive and if only my neighbors weren’t so incredibly… well, THE WAY THEY ARE… I wouldn’t be dealing with any of this. ARGH. (more…)

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Comments { 24 }

And speaking of protective bubbles

Yesterday I took Monkey to the post office with me to mail some packages. We frequent four different post offices, depending on where the errands of the day happen to take us, but yesterday we hit the one we go to most often, and the clerk recognized us. She chatted up Monkey (“How old are you now? What grade are you in?”) while I piled items on the counter.

She began going through the stack and stopped to look at the return address on one of the packages. “Now, what’s Want Not?” she asked, peering at my handwriting with a furrowed brow.

“It’s a bargain shopping website I run,” I responded, automatically, while digging for my wallet.

She nodded, but before she could respond, Monkey bounced into action. (more…)

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Comments { 26 }

Today on “As the Rash Spreads”

It’s nearly July, in the third summer of my daughter’s Mystery Rash Saga, and we are still stumped. When we last left off, the doctors suspected sun allergy, but then in a follow-up phone call amended that to “maybe it’s just a sensitivity to chemical sunscreens.” We were instructed to ditch our old sunblock and buy only the kind that uses a physical barrier rather than a chemical one, and told that within a month we should see an improvement if one was going to happen. We dutifully replaced all of our cheap sunblock and crossed our fingers.

As soon as Chickadee finished the last round of Prednisone, the rash came back. Again. So I called our crack team of specialists, again, to say “Oh hi, my kid has been on Prednisone three times this summer already and not only have the effects on her personality been TOTALLY AWESOME, she’s actually still covered in a scaly rash, so hey, how about we try something else?”

So it was back to Atlanta today for another shot at deciphering the Mystery Of Itchy Girl. (more…)

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Comments { 38 }

Lesser-known Marco Polo rules

1) Whoever is “It” is not allowed to wear goggles.

2) Game may be delayed for prolonged argument between children as to whether wearing goggles on your FOREHEAD qualifies as “wearing goggles.”

3) Everyone has to play or someone is going to whine. LOUDLY.

4) When playing with the “no getting out of the pool” rule, you may still get out of the pool as long as you immediately execute a spectacular cannonball to establish your whereabouts.

5) Rule number 4 is actually imaginary. Expect copious complaining from “It” after executed. (more…)

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Comments { 20 }
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