February 12, 2008 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony, Ottomatic For the People, What do I do all day?

I was working along, yesterday, quite happily. Mondays are always excellent work days—I’ve had just enough family togetherness to make those hours after everyone’s left the house feel serene and calm and full of possibility. I’m incredibly productive on Mondays. (It falls off during the week. By Friday? I’m useless.)

It has become my habit to do several hours of work in the morning before showering. If I’m going to be completely honest, I guess the truth is that I often work until lunchtime, then take a break to eat and shower and, you know, get dressed. Until then, I’m just here on my own, so what difference does it make?

Well, it makes a difference when I forget that the Bug Guy is coming. (more…)

February 1, 2008 | What do I do all day?

My father and stepmom go on a lot of really exciting vacations, you know. They’ve been to Africa on safari. Alaska. The Great Wall of China. The Mayan ruins. All sorts of places I may never get to go, but always each trip more exotic than the last.

(They tell me this is the advantage of working too hard all their lives and now being retired. I wouldn’t know, as the pension plan for freelance writers more or less dictates that you work until you die, or enjoy a nice vacation to your local 7-11, where you can go really wild and splurge on a Big Gulp.)

Anyway, I’m sure that you can understand—in light of their status as seasoned world travelers—why coming here is an unparalleled exercise in extravagance. (more…)

January 30, 2008 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony, What do I do all day?

I have just a few things I need to take care of today. I have work, cleaning, work, an interview, work, laundry, work, errands, and, OH YEAH, work.

So I decided to make soup. You know, because I wasn’t busy.

There is something primal, to me, about throwing things in a pot and letting them cook all day and turn into something you might actually want to eat. When I first came to Georgia it was approximately 110 degrees every single day, and I found myself looking forward to the winter so that I could start making soup again. I waited. And waited. And the kids were still going to school in shorts in November, and I realized that I should probably stop “waiting for winter” and just make some soup anyway.

Right now it’s about 32 degrees out, which is POSITIVELY ARCTIC by Georgia standards, so I think I’m good to go. (more…)

January 28, 2008 | What do I do all day?

Yesterday, we packed up the whole family and went to a big RV and camper show. It was An Event. Apparently this is some sort of rite of passage in Otto’s family, as they spent many summers camping and went to every RV show that came to town. I cannot be certain, of course, because Otto and I are not having any (more) kids, but I doubt that he would’ve been more excited to watch his first child being born than he was to sweep us all into the expo center and watch as we took in the rows and rows of shiny campers.

(Actually, strike that. This was significantly less messy than childbirth, even when you factor in Monkey eating fried chicken for lunch. So I’m gonna have to say that this was definitely MORE exciting for Otto than even a whole new human would be.)

Believe you me, it was a Very Exciting Day. (more…)

December 27, 2007 | Ottomatic For the People, What do I do all day?

In the same kitchen where two small children are playing Connect Four with wild abandon (and seeming obliviousness to the fact that this was a really cool toy when WE were kids), there are four adults.

Between the grown-ups, there are three computers, two cell phones, and a video camera in use. All at the same time.

December 17, 2007 | Ottomatic For the People, What do I do all day?

Did I mention that I have a cold? Because I do. I think I’m dying. It is very sad.

I will miss me.

(Do you hear them? In the background? Those are teeny tiny violins, playing beautiful music in honor of my sore throat and reversion to 5-year-old maturity level when my nose is stuffy.)

Oh, FINE. I suppose I’m PROBABLY not actually dying. In fact, I’m that sort of really unsatisfying sick where you just feel crummy and gross, but deep in your mucous-covered heart you know that without a fever or whatever you really just have a cold and should suck it up.

Of course, I’m sick because I have a million things to do this week. (more…)

December 10, 2007 | It's not a regret, it's an "experience", What do I do all day?

Woo! My weekend simply flew by, because that is what happens when you have an active social schedule the way that I do. It’s not easy being a socialite, but somehow I manage it.

Come to think of it, I suspect this weekend was a year’s worth of weekend excitement, owing to the fact that most of the time I consider it a busy weekend if I get up off the couch long enough to look for more snacks.

Anyway, I bid farewell to my usual level of sloth these last few days and was VERY BUSY and as a result, I now need a weekend to recover from my weekend. Um. Hmmm. Seems like this could be a problem, what with it being Monday and all. Oops.

I shall bravely soldier on, stopping only to nibble on leftovers in the fridge! Because I am a trooper that way! (more…)

November 24, 2007 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony, What do I do all day?

If you happened to notice that rift in the very fabric of the universe earlier today, it may have been due to the fact that we went out on a family outing and had a perfectly lovely day. Everyone behaved and there wasn’t any traffic and when we came home everyone got ready for bed and turned in without complaint.

It was weird. Good, but weird.

In fact, when we were sitting in a restaurant eating, a kid at the next table fiddled with his cup until he dumped about ten ounces of ice directly into his shoes. (Crocs. Yet another hazard they don’t tell you about—shoes full of ice pellets!) And I looked over at that family and tried not to giggle out loud. Because that would’ve been mean. And also because THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD is not always a good deterrent when it comes to karmic retribution.

November 22, 2007 | What do I do all day?

Yesterday I cooked and worked and cooked and worked and cooked some more and worked some more and told my daughter that if she behaved she could help me with the pies and that if she didn’t, I would chop her up and put her IN the pies.

It was mixed bag of a day—rather more frenetic that I would’ve liked, plus it’s hard to behave when you’re off school and everyone is busy ignoring you in favor of preparing dinner for people you don’t even KNOW, MOM—but in the end, we more or less did both.

I hope our guests like pie. (more…)

November 10, 2007 | It's not a regret, it's an "experience", What do I do all day?

I have so much to say, and none of it involves weeping (any more) which is a huge change from the past week. Soon we shall discuss this last week in detail and then put it behind us and move on, but I can’t do it just yet.

Today I am spending the day focusing on my children. My wonderful, awesome, patient children, who still love me even though I all but ignored them for four days while my business (and I) were in a tailspin. This may have nothing to do with me and everything to do with the pudding cups I packed them on Friday, along with notes about how great I think they are and how much I love them, and also the pudding was chocolate, so, you know, they may not have even read the notes. (Moral of the story: You can be a rotten mother if you have awesome snack foods.)

Anyway, if you missed what all happened here, you can catch up a bit by reading the last week’s worth of posts at Cornered Office, and soon I’ll tell you the rest. Right now, though, I have to go watch a movie with the kids. They have forbidden me to bring my laptop. Seeing as I have yet to buy them those ponies I promised, I think I can give them that, at least.