Started with soup, ended with avoidance
Today was a pretty dull day, though that was (as you might imagine) a welcome change after yesterday. Oh, sure—at one point this afternoon, my internet died. That was exciting for a few minutes, as my life flashed before my eyes. (Insert slow-motion realization that I’ve lost connectivity—and the slow, anguished “Nooooooooooooo!” that came with it—here.)
Being left without a connection to the outside world forced me to take up my vacuum and CLEAN in the middle of the afternoon, so it all worked out okay.
And the crockpot was going all day, so it certainly smelled good in here. Crockpot soup, cleaning… I was feeling very earth mother-y and on top of my game. read more…
Wanted: Room-sized autoclave
I love my children.
I love love love love my children.
There is nothing my children could do that would make me stop loving them.
No matter how digusting or gross my children sometimes are, I will never falter in my love for them.
Much.
I’m going to try to tell you this without gagging more than a few times. If you are squeamish, GO READ SOMETHING ELSE. I mean it. You’ve been warned. read more…
I am a stick, and this is my mud
So we had this local pumpkin festival thing this weekend, and I didn’t take the kids. At all.
Friday night we could’ve attended the “festival opening,” but I was still feeling pretty sick and crummy.
Saturday we had a soccer game and then I made the children go bed shopping with me, because THAT’s the sort of memory I figure contributes to a fulfilled childhood.
Today we went to church and drive right past the pumpkin festival on our way home, and all I could think was that I needed to at least go home and take off my uncomfortable shoes and change my clothes, first, knowing even then that I would not drive back to it later.
I suck. read more…
It is done
I’m the sort of careful shopper who follows an extremely predictable course of action when undertaking a large purchase. It’s totally awesome that I am sharing my shopping acumen with the world because the way I save money, it’s a thing of beauty (plus I’m so modest and all).
So. Because this was such a VERY SPECIAL INSTANCE of careful shopping, I simply must share it here. Everyone needs to learn from my example.
Also, everyone should have a king size bed. read more…
I am woman, hear me caulk
I fixed the shower wall that no one broke.
That’s right. You heard me. I. Fixed. It.
I’ve always wanted to be a HANDY person. In reality, I’m just not all that handy. What I am is impatient and lazy. You know how when you put together chocolate and peanut butter, it’s a great combination called a Reese’s cup? When you put together impatient and lazy, it’s a great combination we’ll euphemistically call RESOURCEFUL.
I am ALL KINDS of resourceful. You betcha. read more…
Love is not discouraged
Love is doing the best I can, being patient and kind when I want to grab him and shake him. Love is endless doctors’ appointments and “wait and see”ing and second opinion-ing and praying. Love is daily reports from the teacher. Love is the highest-calorie (yet nutritious) foods I can think of so that one or two bites will sustain him.
Love is gently reminding him, every day—when he begins talking about how he is sure that any day now, a friend from last year at his old school will be sending him a birthday party invitation—that sometimes things change, people change, plans change, and that would be great, but who knows, and please don’t get your hopes up, just in case.
Love is also… read more…
But first, Hack-Up-A-Lung Wednesday
Hey, I finally remembered that Love Thursday is coming up, but I’ll get to that tomorrow.
Right now, we have to deal with Wednesday. Wednesday, known in some circles as Hump Day, but known ’round here as the day I realized this cold isn’t going down without a fight. Joshilyn called me on the phone today and I said “SQUEEEEEE YOU ARE PRETTY AND OH MY GOD I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH HOW ARE YOU!” and she said “Were you sleeping? You sound awful.” So.
While I go drown my sorrows in Nyquil, two things to hold you over until I cough up (get it? COUGH up?) the Love Thursday entry:
1) Did you not hear me when I said that the Ty’s blog is back and better than ever? Because I am still experiencing an echo over there. Come visit. Come comment. Please?
2) Wanna win a copy of the new Curious George Movie DVD? Or just want to read some of the strangest made-up Curious George stories EVER? I’m having a contest, and my commenters are funny, funny people. Check it out.
Everyone who leaves me a comment over at Ty’s or enters the DVD contest gets… ummm… a little piece of lung tissue. Yay!
Big black bags of freedom
Wow! Given the frenzy of responses to my last post, I feel the need to provide a handy summary of lessons learned:
1) I should not post while crabby.
2) There are no shortcuts.
3) You all are just as tired and stressed as I am.
4) Liquor is the answer.
Seriously, in my Nyquil-enhanced funk, last night, I was sure that someone would give me a fabulous idea or trick which would cause me to smack my forehead and declare “OF COURSE!” I cannot decide if I am disappointed or relieved to know that there’s no magic bullet. Well, short of disposing of the children. And I sort of like the children.
Today, I decided it was time to grab ahold of my own destiny! And throw it in the trash! read more…
Ruined for office life
Way back when I decided to freelance, I was thinking that it would solve a host of problems for me.
It would solve the money problem (the problem being, I didn’t have any).
It would solve the attention span problem (the problem being, I don’t really have one, and Oh! Look! Something shiny over there!).
It would solve the playing office problem (the problem being, I have trouble playing nicely with others day in and day out, particularly when the others are treating me poorly).
What I didn’t realize at the time was that I would now look around at the rest of you who work at conventional jobs for a living, and be dumbfounded as to how you manage it. Seriously, you all must be robots. read more…
May I pour you a Nyquil cocktail?
I’m an excellent hostess. Pull up a box of kleenex and sit down.
Remember when I said maybe I was getting sick? Dude. I’m PSYCHIC. (Or was that psychotic? I can never keep those two straight.) Or perhaps I had a little tickle in the back of my throat, even then. But I prefer to believe I’m psychic, as that’s a better counterpoint to a runny nose.
Stupid cold weather. I cry uncle! I give up! I turned on my heat today. If I’m going to get a cold every couple of weeks, at least I want to be able to feel my toes inside my slippers. read more…