The family that suffers together
So we’re just a few days into summer vacation, here, and so far it’s been a whole barrel of fun. If by “a whole barrel of fun” you mean “multiple trips to the pharmacy.”
Remember last year when Otto got poison ivy and then it got really, really bad and then he got MRSA? That was fun. Except not really. And so when he mysteriously got poison ivy again last week he was all, “Huh. I think I have poison ivy again. I wonder where that came from? Well, I guess I’ll use some of this cream I have left over from last time.”
Meanwhile I was throwing myself prostrate on the bathroom floor in front of him, going “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I CANNOT LIVE THROUGH YOU HAVING MRSA AGAIN, GO TO THE DOCTOR!”
Otto thought I was overreacting. But it turns out that I am something of a champion nag, and after a few days of me rending my garments he did, indeed, get himself over to his doctor, who took one look at him and—probably with last year’s episode in mind—put him on a massive course of steroids to fix him up. read more…
Just to clarify: I still shave
I am becoming a damn hippie in my old age. One of the things I like best about working from home is that it gives me the flexibility to do lots of things I could never do when I spent the majority of my day out of the house. Things like cooking and baking stuff that requires a lot of time between steps (even if not a lot of actual effort).
Really, I thought I’d reached the pinnacle of hippiedom when I started making my own granola on a regular basis. Because… CRUNCHY GRANOLA HIPPIE, right? But I was wrong. That was just the tip of the hippie iceberg.
In the spirit of this month’s Get Your Learn On challenge at Five Full Plates, this week I embraced my true hippie nature… and bacteria. Come on over and read about it, if you secretly want to be a hippie, too.
Awwwww, yeah. Who wants a smoothie?
Love celebrates
Hi, would you like to buy a Funk? It’s used—I used it quite a lot the last few days, to be honest—but it’s got lots of moping left in it, I’m sure. It’s available, cheap. I’m trying to quit.
By the time the kids got home yesterday, I had my feet back under me. There is a certain arrogance in being unhappy when leading what is fundamentally a good and blessed and lucky life, isn’t there? I mean, that’s not to say that my (or your) problems aren’t real and challenging, just that the Right and Mature thing to do, after a while, is to say to yourself, “Self, time to suck it up and deal.” Lord knows I say this to my kids often enough; I should take my own advice.
So I did.
Of course, that was made significantly easier because one of the biggest sources of my discontent conveniently fixed itself. read more…
Inspiring things
I’m not here right now. Rather, I’m here, but I’m hiding. I am not being my best self right now, and as such I am looking for inspiration elsewhere on how people do the right thing even when, maybe, life is not feeling so right.
Do you know what I mean? If you do (or even if you don’t), here’s three places to go today that I promise will up your good karma:
1) Please visit this post at BlogHer to painlessly donate a book to a child in need. Your comment = a book for a kid. It’s that simple. (Bonus points: You blog about it, that’s another book, too.)
2) I couldn’t be more excited about my friend Karen Walrond’s impending book than if I’d written it myself, and the video she posted today made me wish I could always see what she sees. Go watch it.
3) I don’t know this woman (in fact, never read her blog before today), but this post makes me want to be a better person.
Maybe tomorrow I WILL be a better person. I hope so.
The perils of living with a car guy
My skin-flint-ed-ness (totally a word) is so legendary, that back over the holidays when we sprang for a new television set, everyone I told thought it was a joke (including my own children). Because I don’t spend money like that. Ever.
So when Otto’s mom gave us her car three years ago, I (predictably) said “Oh! Free car! YAY!” and gave up any thoughts of replacing the car I’d sold before I moved down here. Because free is my very favorite price, and my favorite kind of car is the kind with four wheels and a steering mechanism and a working engine.
Now, I’m not a car person. Otto IS a car person, and so the car he drives is important to him as an essential experience. Or something. I don’t really understand. Me, the car is a little bigger than I would like. But it’s no big deal. Handling? Power? Huh? I don’t know. One time one of my grocery bags fell over in the ginormous trunk and I had to CRAWL INSIDE to retrieve the bananas. That was kind of annoying. But whatever.
Otto, though, was worried about me. Or maybe he was worried about the car. read more…
No matter what
Dear Child of Mine,
I love you no matter what. No matter what you do, no matter what you say. No matter how obnoxious you are. No matter how many times you take out the injustices of the world on me because I am a handy scapegoat.
I love you even though you treat me like something slimy you found on your shoe. I love you enough to spend the better part of a day on the phone with the school, because when my baby calls me in tears to report that all of her stuff was stolen (AGAIN) and the teacher said “Oh well,” that’s not gonna fly. I love you enough to continue sending emails and making phone calls, even as I can practically HEAR the administration rolling their eyes, because as it turns out, no one pushes my kid around and gets away with it. I love you enough to send your stepfather down there to sort it all out, because the person whose head I dearly would love to see on a platter kept treating me with the “get back in the kitchen and bake a pie” vibe, and I knew Otto would get better results.
I love you even though you never say thank you for those things, either to me or to him. I love you even though it’s a constant stream of “I want” and “I need” and “You have to” out of your ungrateful mouth. read more…
I feel pretty, oh so pretty
I am coming to you live from the new and improved Woulda Coulda Shoulda, which was redone to match the new and improved Want Not, which pretty much makes me squeal with glee every time I look at it. If you’re looking for a crack team of web designers, I heartily recommend the folks over at LEAP. They not only made everything gorgeous, they totally put up with my truckload of neuroses while they did it. And I’m pretty sure they didn’t even charge me any extra.
Anyway, I spent about twelve hours yesterday sitting here at my desk, programming stores into Want Not’s new little mini-marketplace (called Shop Pretty, of course, because it’s so pretty), and as such, my brain is now mush. Abedgfihwtgng. Like that.
Fortunately, I have a story for you over at Five Full Plates, all about how I fed my family… well, you’ll have to go read it.
And I need to go take a nap.
You never know where love will lead
Over 20 years ago I sat down next to this cute guy I didn’t know during what turned out to be kind of a boring class at Syracuse University. Before long we were passing the time by writing notes back and forth in his spiral notebook. If you ask ME, those notes mostly consisted of him flirting madly with me; if you ask HIM, those notes mostly consisted of me suggesting he break up with his girlfriend and run off to the mountains with me.
(I was a shy, retiring flower, even back then.)
The class ended, but the friendship endured. He moved all over the east coast; I moved to California. I got married; he came to the wedding. I moved back to New England; so did he. I had a baby; he came to my baby shower. My marriage fell apart, he took me out for Chinese food and listened while I cried and maintained a respectful distance.
We didn’t run away to the mountains together until our honeymoon, three years ago. read more…
Another handy quiz
Not sure if you’re up to the fun and excitement of owning your own pool? It can be difficult, deciding whether you’re ready to take the plunge, and that’s aside from the bad puns involved. Pool ownership is not to be undertaken lightly, so be certain you’re making the right choice with this handy screening quiz.
1) Do you enjoy running outside like a crazy person when your son is having a playdate and screaming, “GET! OFF! THE! POOL! COVER! RIGHT! NOW!!” at his baffled friends?
A) Yes.
B) No.
C) My kid told me about you. Have you considered valium?
2) Do you feel that no Mother’s Day is complete until you’ve dragged said pool cover out to the yard and gotten covered in pollen, grass, and other miscellaneous debris while helping your spouse fold it up again for storage?
A) Yes.
B) No.
C) Are you kidding me? read more…
You are my sunshine
I’ve often pointed out that Otto is, in many ways, a far superior wife to me. He is romantic; I am pragmatic. He puts away laundry; I prefer to wash it and then wonder why it’s still in the basket a week later. He is nice; I’m kind of a jerk. You get the idea.
And so, with our third anniversary looming, last night I made a special dinner (if by “special” you mean “ingredients thrown in the crock pot on a wing and a prayer,” and I do), and as we lounged at the table after the meal concluded—discussing our upcoming summer travel, dreaming of vacation—I mercilessly mocked something Otto said and then did not exactly pick up on the cues that I was really and truly annoying him instead of being funny.
Like I said: kind of a jerk.
“You guuuuuuys!” called Chickadee, standing between us (as I realized my mistake and stuffed my foot further into my mouth with loving apologies along the lines of, “Hey, know what I love about you? THAT YOU USED TO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR”), “You can’t fight! Your anniversary is tomorrow!!”
“We’re not fighting,” both of us answered, but she was not convinced. read more…