A story in a series of short vignettes that are really only entertaining if you've had a glass of wine or three. Morning! Clock: Yo, get your lazy butt outta bed. Me: Sleepy. Clock: It's gonna be lunchtime soon, get UP. Me: Stupid clock. Pillow: I love you. Never leave me. Me: Mmmmmm. Nice pillow. Clock: Don't you have a doctor's appointment today? Me: Crap. Me: Start! Snowblower: I'm starting! Now I'm stopping! Ha! Now I'm starting again! Now I'm making a funny noise! Now I'm stop-- just kidding! Still running! Me: Stupid snow. Stupid snowblower. Stupid winter. Snowblower: I'm fine! Still...
Today dawned sunny. Over 48 hours have passed since the last spew here at Casa Mir, and I think I shall declare myself free and clear. There were a few hours, last night, when I wondered if I would be the next to fall to the dreaded stomach bug. But all is well and I think--for once--I dodged a bullet. And there was much rejoicing! The children are off with their father. This allowed me to: 1) Sleep late. 2) Have coffee ice cream for breakfast. 3) Assemble the world's most annoying nativity. Now, as you can see, Playmobil normally extracts the cash equivalent of a first-born...
So my dad, he's got some sort of virus, who knows what. Not a huge deal, but he had a fever and looked kinda pasty and whatnot this morning. Plus we had our first big storm and it was all snowy and gross and the news was all "Hey! It's snowing! And these cars crashed because DID WE MENTION that it is SNOWING here in NEW ENGLAND? Here I am in the SNOW! Drive CAREFULLY!" But because I am a lousy daughter, I was unable to convince him to stay another day. I offered everything I could think of, including ginger ale with a straw, hand-delivered to his choice of resting locations! But no, he...
The pie is quite delicious... I couldn't say for sure if it could win me a pie-baking contest in Georgia or not, but it's yummy. And continuing in the Thanksgiving-ish theme, we made a veritable banquet tonight; turkey with all the trimmings and the singing of the grace song followed by fingers in the mashed potatoes, just as God intended. All of which would've been fabulous--no qualification--if I was someone else, with someone else's luck. But GUESS WHAT! I'm me, and so it was all fabulous except for a few minor things. Like how Chickadee complained of itchiness this afternoon and when I...
Again, I share because I love. If it worked for me it can work for you! And it's guaranteed to work or I will point at you and laugh really hard. Just kidding. But really not. It's foolproof; I promise! Only 27 simple steps! 1) Invite friends over for a Hanukkah party. Having been raised Jewish is useful but not necessary. 2) Peel a whole mess of potatoes. 3) Realize you haven't used your Cuisinart since this time last year. Assemble it after some difficulty. Grate potatoes. Note that it's possible to remove the lid while the wheel is still spinning, thus sending potato slivers all over the...
When you have a life and a job, it's Monday that you hate. When you're me, Friday wins the Most Dreaded Day Of The Week contest, hands down. Do repack the sunbutter-and-jelly sandwiches that went uneaten yesterday. They won't be eaten today, either, so why waste more food? Don't let on that that's what you're doing. It has the potential to cause a lot of whining during breakfast. Do arrive early for the Holiday Musical Program at school. Don't sit on the opposite side of the gymnasium from where your child ends up standing. Moron. Do go ahead and move to the other side. Quietly. Don't...
You know, that game... that they play... with that ball... and... stuff. Right, that one! Let's talk about that. You go first, as I seem to have lost my brain somewhere today.... Is it still lunch if it doesn't conclude until dinnertime? A hypothetical, of course. I'm just curious. Ran off to pick up the kids, and found half the neighborhood waiting at the house where Chickadee was having her playdate. Coincidence? They didn't even try to play it off as such. The women all screamed "WE WANT THE SCOOP!" the second I walked through the door. That wasn't embarrassing. Much. Had I been able to...
I stayed up too late last night and got up too early this morning. And I almost never get up early when my kids aren't here. It takes something pretty important to get me out of bed early if I don't have to go yell "Get dressed! Eat your breakfast!" a few dozen times. Last week at church, our pastor gave a great sermon entitled "All I Want For Christmas Is... More Stuff." All of his sermons are good, but this one was one of his finer ones, and timely, of course. Rampant consumerism. Subversion of the true message of Christmas. Let's get back in touch with what's important. Etc. Really, just...
Oh, my. Here I was busy just having a little chuckle over the day's events, and y'all have me paired off and married to the guy, already. Slow down, people. Goodness. There's still plenty of time for him to turn out to be a psycho, or just never call at all. Wait and see, willya? In other news, day-to-day life goes on. I went grocery shopping with a friend, yesterday afternoon, which resulted in deep discussion of multiple important issues. At the outset of our trip I mentioned that I hoped Coke was on sale because I was experiencing a critical shortage of Diet Coke with Lime, which caused...
