So, on the one hand, I am feeling a vague shell of my former self. Which--under the circumstances--is a GOOD thing. As recently as a few days ago I still pretty much felt like a troglodyte. Even approximately feeling human is progress. Huzzah! On the other hand, I went to great, grovelling lengths to get scheduled with my (former) therapist because it seemed like I might benefit from some head-shrinking at this particular juncture in my life (go figure). I had to make many phone calls and snivel a lot and then wait over a week for today to arrive, for my appointment at 12:15, at long last. I...
If I was going to use my new, expensive screenhouse as an analogy about resilience and then it rained really hard and the thing snapped in three different places, what would that mean, exactly? Wait. Nevermind. I don't think I want to know.
Dear former yoga teacher, Remember how you said that it was impossible to feel anxious while breathing deeply? We'd be doing our deep-breathing relaxation stuff, and you'd chirp on and on about how the sensation of anxiety was completely incompatible with a nice deep, cleansing breath. I respectfully submit that you are on crack. Well-oxygenatedly yours, Mir
I had A Plan, you know. And The Plan, it was good. Absolutely nothing at all wrong with That Plan, I tell you! Except that, you know, it was MY Plan. I shoulda known better. Ahem. Anyway. The Plan went like this: 1) Have an utterly suckass week [okay, that wasn't really part of what I came up with, that was just the starting point from which I was operating], 2) Hop on plane, 3) Have the best weekend of my life [no pressure!], and 4) Return home refreshed, renewed, and ready to take on anything. Again I say: there was NOTHING wrong with That Plan. It was a good and lovely Plan. Except that...
It's often said that the cruelest thing you can do to another person is "kick them when they're down." I would posit that this was declared by someone utterly unused to being down. Rather--if you consider it for a bit--it becomes clear that while in "crisis mode," a person is fairly well-equipped (even if not particularly willing) to take on more adversity in the mix. No, the cruelest thing you can do to another person is kick them when they're on their way back up. It shatters any sense of relief they may have been enjoying. It bypasses whatever level of "down" they were previously at and...
I should be sleeping even now, you know, but once I've crossed some invisible barrier between Sleeping Enough and Not Sleeping Enough it's hard to cross back. I'm exhausted but I'm wide awake. It's a lovely dichotomy, not unlike when I try on a pair of jeans that cut off the circulation in my thighs while gapping sufficiently through the waist to hold two dozen Krispy Kreme donuts. Actually, I guess it's pretty well not at all like that, and also that I should clarify that I have never stuffed donuts into pants I was trying on. Or pants I was wearing. Or pants, period. About two more nights...
I had something really elaborate and insightful that I wanted to share with you tonight. It was the sort of post that would've garnered comments from even the most recalcitrant lurkers, and you all would've been deeply moved by my insight. The flash of brilliance astounded even me. Aaaaaaand... then I decided to post this, instead. I don't ask for much. (Stop laughing.) I think I'm generally kind and polite to the servicepeople I depend upon. I appreciate the services they provide and I'm an excellent tipper. Mostly I believe in sucking up to those who do important things for you which you...
So today started off in the following manner: 5:30 BEEP BEEP BEEP *smack* I open one eye, peer towards the bizarre octagonal window which no window treatments will fit but was nonetheless someone's idea of a decorative touch in the master bedroom, and see bare branches. Bare. As in, not coated in snow. That nor'easter they were screaming about yesterday? M.I.A. No need to get up early and shovel! I reset my alarm. 6:00 BEEP BEEP BEEP *smack* Okay, guess what... I still don't feel like getting out of bed. I'm thirsty. But I don't care. My head hurts. I feel like crap. Maybe I can rest just a...
... was the joy of procuring a sitter so I could run out to the pharmacy RIGHT NOW on the off chance that it will keep me from sticking my head in the oven. Let's see; sitter, prescription... that's a lotta cash and no chocolate. Hmph.
