Monkey---sweet, darling Monkey---has changed SO MUCH over the last few years that sometimes I forget about the things which haven't changed. Like, say, the fact that he now towers over me does not change the typical trajectory of: it's a minor cold, it's a minor cold, it's a minor cold, MOM I THINK MAYBE I'M DYING MOM I FEEL AWFUL. Good job, me! My streak of sending that child to school even though he's sick as a dog remains unbroken! WOOOOO! Yesterday had an added bonus of his doctor mentioning that it may be time to go back to the ENT and discuss sinus surgery... I think... I was too busy...
Somehow I never linked you up to my Alpha Mom advice column last week, probably because I was busy dealing with non-writing things as if I actually have a life outside of the computer. HAHA. Anyway. That's the bad news. The good news is that today you get a twofer from me! First, I'm answering a reader question about the value of labeling autism, and I think you know which side of that argument I come down on, but it's hopefully worth a read, anyway. Second, no one asked me, but because I know how to make sure your kids don't have sex before they're ready, I'm telling you. (Disclaimer:...
College sounds like a terrible addition to a chicken and parsnips dish. It would make it taste funny! But I am a poor planner and so I am jamming two wholly unrelated things together, plus I am giving you a recipe I sort of Frankenstein-ed together just because I liked it. Hey, you get what you pay for, here. First, college: It's that magical time of year when everyone with a high school senior is freaking out about college applications, so I wrote about it for Alpha Mom. You should probably go read it if college applications are in your kid's future, because if I learned anything while...
I find it very tempting, when bad things happen in the world, to become furious with everyone and everything and assume that life is hopeless and awful, etc. But I'm trying to figure out how not to do that, so much. Yesterday Monkey called me from school because he was unwell, and I tried to focus---step by step---on all of the good things this showed me. Yay for a kid who has become able to identify problems even though his own body is often a mystery to him! Yay for ease of communication to relay that information! Yay for flexibility of schedule (me) and health insurance (us) and...
Back in Real Job Land, I continue to be paid to act like I know things about parenting. Ha! This is the greatest scam in the whole world. Uh. I mean. Wow, I AM SUPER KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT STUFF. Yeah. That's the ticket. Can you imagine how excited I was when that whole study about how teenage girls are more successful when their mothers are nagging bitches came out? Posing aside, I can nag like nobody's business. I'm sure you've never figured that out about me. And while I have learned in spades that I cannot simply bend my children to my will (but I'd be down for that if it worked...),...
I spent all summer avoiding thinking about work, and now summer is over and I have to be an adult again. Being an adult is highly overrated. It turns out that if you're trying to shepherd a couple of kids toward adulthood, though, you kind of have to have a grasp of it, yourself. At least, that's the idea. So I keep working on it, FOR THE CHILDREN, even though I would much rather... read a book, or bake something, or bathe my cat. And you know I'm allergic to cats (even the imaginary ones I don't really own). We spend a lot of time talking about our kids growing up and changing, and not a...
... it's a good day, y'know? I like rainbows and they seem to be everywhere. So just a quickie redirect, today: I thought folks would be tired of hearing about teaching a kid to drive, but I got a question about it at Alpha Mom, so check it out if you're in that stage of life. (Spoiler: No, holding the dashboard with one hand and your face with the other is not the proper driver training position.)
So I told my children this morning that I was going to be writing an advice column for Alpha Mom as a "teen expert," fully expecting them to laugh and laugh, but instead they both just looked... puzzled. Like, it wasn't even FUNNY that I'm pretending to know what I'm doing, it's just SUPER PERPLEXING. [Is your ego getting out of hand? Try TEENAGERS! They'll knock you down a few pegs in no time!] Nevertheless, we're forging ahead (thanks, in part, to your positive support when I first asked if you'd read it), and the first one is up today. Woohoo! You can hop on over there to read about...
So, some of you know that about 8 months ago I took a new job. This turned into An Actual Grown Up Job Job (as opposed to Sure It's A Grown Up Freelance Job But Pants Are Still Optional Job), and that's the very abbreviated version of how yours truly, possibly the crankiest person to walk the planet, totally ended up drinking the Happier Kool-Aid. It's awesome. Less awesome: Happier is in Boston, and I live 1,000 miles away. Boston is great, but Georgia is where I keep all my stuff and my dogs and my family, so up until now I have spent a lot of time on Google Hangouts with my coworkers,...
