Back to pretending to know stuff

By Mir
September 15, 2015

Back in Real Job Land, I continue to be paid to act like I know things about parenting. Ha! This is the greatest scam in the whole world. Uh. I mean. Wow, I AM SUPER KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT STUFF. Yeah. That’s the ticket.

Can you imagine how excited I was when that whole study about how teenage girls are more successful when their mothers are nagging bitches came out? Posing aside, I can nag like nobody’s business. I’m sure you’ve never figured that out about me. And while I have learned in spades that I cannot simply bend my children to my will (but I’d be down for that if it worked…), sometimes I just cannot shut my mouth. So. I nag. I have nagged. I continue to nag. And so when we recently went to Senior Parent Night at the high school and they spent 45 minutes telling us YOUR CHILD MUST TAKE THIS TEST and YOUR CHILD MUST MAKE THESE DECISIONS and HERE ARE COMMON DEADLINES I sat there, perfectly smug, because know what? I AM THE WORLD CHAMPION OF NAGGING. I am the naggiest. Someday, probably soon, Chickadee is going to stab me in my sleep, but when that happens, I will die knowing that she already finished applying to college before Senior Parent Night. So. I’ll be dead, I guess, but self-satisfied and confident in my decision to nag.

I learned a few things over the summer as I nagged my child through the process of figuring out how to proceed, I think. A lot of that “essential college application rules” stuff is… nonsense, or at the very least, not one-size-fits-all. Over at Alpha Mom I’m busting the most common myths, because no one should have to freak out over what should be a manageable—and even exciting—process.


  1. Therese

    I am a mean mommy! My kids did all their college applications themselves and even arranged for their own loans. I did fill out financial aid forms for them, because I knew my husband’s business financial stuff, but I never helped them do anything else. After 12 years, I actually filled out my last FAFSA last January. WHEW! My last one graduates in December and already has a job, thank God!!

    • Mir

      Proof it can be done! (For the record, I didn’t do any of her stuff. I just nagged her to do it. because I care.)

  2. Andrea

    Crap, all my will-bending exercises have been for nothing? I was really hoping to see them pay off before the teen years hit (which I think actually are coming early to my 10 year old).

  3. Kendra

    So, I’m catching up on blog posts…and reading out of order. If while you’re writing your book you ever get the urge to work in an office or for a corporation or whatever, put your nagging skills to good use in Project Management. xo

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