Help, my face is numb. Backing up: What better way to create a gentle reentry into normal life after a relaxing getaway than to visit the dentist? Backing up even further: Once upon a time, we were Visit The Dentist Every Six Months Like Clockwork people. I believe in good oral health, truly. But... at some point I had to cancel a cleaning for Chickie because she was in the hospital (yes, this was years ago, I KNOW I SUCK THANKS) and then our dentist stopped taking our insurance and the rest of us stopped going and hadn't found a new dentist, and somehow---presto, chango, lazy-o---years...
I helped Otto put several large pieces of furniture (such as my giant L-shaped desk, which was serving as the world's jankiest island in our kitchen during the floor install) back into my office once the floor was FINALLY completed at about 9:00 on Monday night. [Aside: Apparently the installing parent company called with a "courtesy post-project satisfaction survey" and Otto shared that we had not expected installation in a small room to take... nearly 11 hours. He said that the woman on the phone was horrified.] Was my darling husband hanging shelves and such at 10:00 that night? Yep. But...
... it's a good day, y'know? I like rainbows and they seem to be everywhere. So just a quickie redirect, today: I thought folks would be tired of hearing about teaching a kid to drive, but I got a question about it at Alpha Mom, so check it out if you're in that stage of life. (Spoiler: No, holding the dashboard with one hand and your face with the other is not the proper driver training position.)
I'm about 700 words into a different post and I realized that wasn't really what I wanted to talk about. In fact, I realized I don't want to talk, because I feel like all I do is talk, and the people I have a habit of talking at/to are tuning me out. IMAGINE. So: I would like YOU to talk, please. LET'S SAY a certain kid is nearing the end of high school and a frenemy situation has reached Maximum Suckitude, where a former friend has extended the expected nastiness and friend-poaching and whispering to maligning this kid's genuine achievements in addition to just plain being an asshole. LET'S...
My favorite thing about writing for Alpha Mom is the occasional, drive-by, years-after-the-original-post which is always---and I do mean ALWAYS---someone who wants to tell me that I'm an insult to humanity and irrevocably screwing up my children. You have to have a pretty thick skin if you put yourself out there (which is something I didn't always have, true) but the random general "U SUCK!" comments don't even count. I find myself wondering what makes a person think "This is very important that I tell this person how displeasing and wrong I find them. I shall do it right now, for it cannot...
The nice thing about being friends with people via the shiny box rather than in Real Life™ is that I can address only what I feel like addressing, and also you can't actually see me. This suits my inner hermit just fine. Today I'm over at Alpha Mom exposing the thing I've been trying to pretend didn't exist (la la la la! can't hear you!!), because the truth is that I have gained a lot of weight and I have been trying to ignore it rather than figure out how to get healthy again without potentially tipping my food-sensitive kid into unhealthiness. I'm not sure I'm getting it right (but...
If some bizarre set of circumstances arose such that I could only say two phrases for the rest of my life and NO OTHER WORDS (wow, as the person my family regularly refers to as "she who makes with the many words," what a terrifying prospect THAT is), I don't even have to take time to mull over my choices. Without a doubt, the two most important utterances in the English language, to me, are: "I love you" and "I'm sorry." Most people have no issues with that first one. We could probably all use some work on the second one. I'm all apologies over at Alpha Mom, because I can't be mad about...
Sure, you people in the northeast have been trapped under a dozen feet of snow for a whole month, but here in Georgia we had a teeny bit of freezing rain last night and now the world is ending. School is canceled! Trees are falling over! The power flickered on and off all night and we tried to sleep to the dulcet tones of distant transformers exploding! It was super fun. And did my darling, charming, best-thing-that's-ever-happened-to-me husband leap out of bed in the middle of the night, insisting that there was someone in the room with us? He sure did. And it had been quite a while since...
Hello, I'm irresistible. I'm AWESOME. You want to BE ME. Specifically: You want to be my Discover Card, perhaps the most sought-after avenue of fraud in the world. Because it was just a few short months ago that I lamented once AGAIN having my card compromised and needing a new one, and GUESS WHAT! After dinner yesterday, I learned that I'd been on QUITE the spending spree at Best Buy! Also, I placed rather a large order with a purveyor of e-cigs, because you KNOW how much I love smoking. I also apparently tried to book a stay at a swanky lodge. I'm glad that Discover catches this stuff and...
