Life is hard, and then you apologize

If some bizarre set of circumstances arose such that I could only say two phrases for the rest of my life and NO OTHER WORDS (wow, as the person my family regularly refers to as “she who makes with the many words,” what a terrifying prospect THAT is), I don’t even have to take time to mull over my choices. Without a doubt, the two most important utterances in the English language, to me, are:

“I love you”


“I’m sorry.”

Most people have no issues with that first one. We could probably all use some work on the second one.

I’m all apologies over at Alpha Mom, because I can’t be mad about other people struggling with it when I am, too, I guess. (Spoiler: Still mad, anyway. Working on it.)


  1. Jim

    Wow Mir !!! What a wonderful teaching. This teachers abominable display modeled what could have been a terrible life lesson for Monkey and his entire class. You were able to take that wrong and turn it into a wonderful life lesson not only for your Son, but for me and everyone that follows your blog. Your kids are lucky they have you for a Mom.

    • Mir

      Thanks for the kind words. I didn’t say which kid, though. (Maybe I am conducting a psychological experiment to see which one people assume it is….)

      • My Kids Mom

        I assumed Chickie

      • Jim

        I could of swore you gave it away somewhere in that blog. I re-read the whole thing and the second time, it seemed more like Chickidee. Now I don’t have a clue which one it was about. You’re a cunning angry Momma Bear that’s for sure.

  2. Lucinda

    I don’t think I learned how to properly apologize until I had kids and until I was in a place where I felt safe enough to give a proper apology. As much as those apologies are needed and deserved, swallowing your pride can be so scary for people. It’s hard! I’m not excusing the teacher AT ALL. Teacher massively screwed up. I’m just saying that clearly the teacher has a lot of evolving to do.

    Huge props to you for realizing in the moment what you had done and being able to stop and do the right thing for your child. It won’t fix what Teacher did but it sure will help move the healing process along beautifully because your child’s pain has been acknowledged by the people who really matter. (Also I think it’s great that you didn’t indicate which child it was because it truly could have been either of them and it isn’t really important that we know.)

  3. Ellen

    I am personally dieing to know exactly what the teacher said. I’m nosey, but wondering if it is something, as a teacher myself, has done (probably not).

  4. Chris

    Wow that is all sort of bad news but I think you have also said something like my saying of “sometimes we have to be the better people”. I will admit it doesn’t always stop me from clearly and fully articulately the failures of others (Teacher in this instance) but always try to remind my teenagers we still strive to do what is right – like apologize properly- even if others don’t.

    I am so sorry it was a teacher and in public – I also think I would struggle to get let it go if one of my dear ones still had to deal with them on an on-going basis. Your kids should know by now that you have their back which will stay as teachers come and go which I hope helps.

    And none of us are perfect – I try hard as a mom to watch my temper – and to apologize when I unfairly take something out on others.

  5. Daisy

    Double whammy. As mom to two, one with major special needs, I feel your pain – and share your anger.
    As teacher, this reminds me how important my role can be and how precious that bond is with children, teens, and with parents. Words that come out of my mouth need to be carefully considered, appropriate, and more.

    I hope all will be well in the Woulda Could Shoulda world – with time, I wish for healing for all of you.

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