It turns out that years of adapting to a food-allergic child has paid off in spades. Sure, yeah--the kid never died. Great. Whatever. I'm talking about IMPORTANT matters, here. Like that even though they can have it, now, neither child particularly likes peanuts or peanut butter, and they both still consider a nickel a treat a pretty good bargain. For the low price of one hour trolling the neighborhood and a handful of loose change I bought myself nirvana: Reese's cups, Snickers bars, Butterfingers, and Almond Joys. Heaven. I didn't expect to be nauseous in heaven, but I'm hoping that part...
Hi. Um. Hmmm. How do I say this? *ahem* I am perhaps not quite as careful with my address as I should be, though I think (thought?) I've only given it out to a very few people. Sometimes, folks offer to send me stuff! And hey, I like stuff! So if I know the requestor reasonably well--say, well enough to feel comfortable that they will neither ship me bloody body parts nor show up on my doorstep with a chainsaw--I fork over my address. Sometimes, I get something good to eat! Or a nice bottle of port! Or something pretty! I forgot to grab my mail yesterday, so I walked out and got it a few...
Oh, the chirps from the last post, THEY ARE DEAFENING ME as I sit here working and wishing for email to distract me. So. Two quick things: 1) Apparently Cafe Press is running some Summer Blowout thing right now that is only good on women's apparel (sorry, guys, but this is the winter of your discontent, or something). This means that if you are a GIRL and want a GIRL'S T-SHIRT, you should clicky clicky on the side there and go buy one for $2 less than usual. Then you will be both pretty AND smart! (Disclaimer: I believe the discount will work on the white ladies' shirt but not the colored...
Don't forget that you have until midnight tonight (midnight tomorrow? midnight within the next 24 hours? hey, the next midnight that happens) to submit your entry for this month's Blogging for Books contest.
The television is currently limited to children's channels and stuff recorded on the fake TiVo. I've topped out on my ability to absorb or handle any more news about the devastation in Katrina's wake. I did a lot of things today. None of them seem very important at the moment. Except one. I walked outside late tonight and realized that Fall is on its way. The night air wasn't just cooler than usual, it smelled different. Crisper. The leaves are starting to blow off the trees. The skin on my arms broke out in goosebumps while the little hairs all reached up to touch the breeze. I turned...
The Top Ten Reasons Why I Am The Obvious Salon Choice: 10) My haircuts are free. 9) I tell you how cute you are while I'm trimming. 8) I'll warn you to close your eyes so I can blow on your face to get the little pieces of hair off. 7) And sneak a kiss then, too. 6) You don't have to wear shoes. 5) Or pants. 4) If you get thirsty during the cut, I'll squirt you in the mouth with the spray bottle as many times as you want. 3) Sometimes I pretend the clippers are attacking me. 2) There is almost always candy afterwards. And the number 1 reason... 1) Do you know any other stylists who carry you...
Have I mentioned lately how super-swell I think Joshilyn is? No? Well, she totally is. She's the sort of person who will totally let you overstay your welcome in her house, eat all of her food, wreck her plans, and blow zerberts on her children. She's the sort of person who will rescue fluffy kittens from trees and pet them (and you) when they (or you) are down but also make you snort your smoked salmon salad with a well-placed witty observation. She's the sort of person who will join in plugging a worthy cause and also auction both her work and her time just to help out a friend in need....
I need a vacation. And some sleep. But I. NEED. a vacation. It just so happens I have a plane ticket! Yes! Isn't that fortuitous? Except that it isn't, exactly, because this ticket I have is the Wrong Ticket. Not a Golden Ticket (we saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory today) or a ticket that will take me to somewhere exciting or even just to people who are willing to tolerate me. Nope. And of course, it's a non-refundable ticket, because refundable ones cost eleventy trillion dollars, and this one only cost one of Monkey's kidneys. But! Non-refundable means I can pay a change fee (perhaps...
Good news! Fortified by the view of GAZILLIONS of those TINY swarming ants all over my garage door as I pulled in, I have located the missing ant traps. I carefully broke them apart and placed them equidistant around my home (read: I wrestled with the plastic disks until I ripped several of them in half, then flung them into every corner). Then--just to be safe--I took out all the trash, cleaned the kitchen, and bleached the children. I'd invite you in to admire everything, but I've decided not to open the door again until winter.
