Peanut butter coma

By Mir
October 31, 2005
Category Detritus

It turns out that years of adapting to a food-allergic child has paid off in spades. Sure, yeah–the kid never died. Great. Whatever. I’m talking about IMPORTANT matters, here. Like that even though they can have it, now, neither child particularly likes peanuts or peanut butter, and they both still consider a nickel a treat a pretty good bargain.

For the low price of one hour trolling the neighborhood and a handful of loose change I bought myself nirvana: Reese’s cups, Snickers bars, Butterfingers, and Almond Joys.

Heaven. I didn’t expect to be nauseous in heaven, but I’m hoping that part will pass….


  1. buffi

    I don’t know what is wrong with me. The kids have been in bed for HOURS and I have had not one piece of their candy. Somebody call the paramedics. Or an exorcist or something.

  2. Marvo

    You know, if they had Unicef boxes, you could’ve bought yourself something nice…

  3. Nothing But Bonfires

    Your next task is to raise a chocolate-allergic one. Or a gummy-bear allergic one.

  4. Zuska

    …and would you believe there was only ONE measly little Twix bar in their take this year? ONE!! And one thing called a S’mores bar that I’d never heard of (and felt too guilty to steal), and only ONE small bag of Whoppers that I had to SHARE with CurlyGirl. Hmpf.

    Glad to hear you made out much better than I did! Well, except for the nausea.

  5. ben

    We were at a house last night and the baby was holding her little bag out (one of her first times EVER) and rather than savor the moment or take a picture, I was drawn to the giant bowl of Reeses they had and so I said “she really LIKES these. They are her FAVORITE!”

    After a minute or two they caught on and dumped a big ol’ handful into her bag. She hasn’t a clue (she’s only two) (hey, that rhymes!) but daddy sure scored.

    I’m shameless…

  6. Amy-GO

    We call it the candy-tax. I followed you all over the neighborhood, you owe me some treats. They don’t even argue anymore! And I’m with you on the nausea. Totally worth it, of course…;)

  7. Theresa

    It will pass…I hope.

  8. dad

    After being visited by multiple munchkins we solved our problems by turning off all the lights in the house and hiding in the den with the candy that we hadn’t had to give away yet.
    Snickers, three musketeers, mounds, M&M’ what a feast. Must remember to floss…and come down off the ceiling.

  9. Chickie

    I am suffering from a sugar crash right now. I think it was the last lollipop and small candy bar that did it.

  10. Rebekah

    We don’t have a child at home anymore to steal from in the dead of night while her bag lays close to her head and she dreams in oblivious comfort, assured of her parents’ great love and honesty… Oh good grief. Now I feel REALLY guilty. Now we just buy for the neighborhood kids, but darn, every year we have lots left over, the stuff on the bottom of the basket, where all the Twix bars and Snickers seem to have fallen.

  11. Nic

    Mmm, Almond Joys… Do you remember Bounty bars? All the yummy coconut without the troublesome almond. Must go raid candy bag again.

  12. Sarcastic Journalist

    I just used my food-allergic child to troll for candy. Then I ate it all. Without paying. We gave her a gummi-saver and well, I think that was reward enough.

  13. kestralyn

    I love your dad! He thinks like me ;-)

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