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Unrequited

When I was in middle school, there was a boy I sat near. I always knew where he was and what he was doing and—perhaps most importantly—what grades he’d gotten on any recent tests. I’ve always been attracted to brainy types, you see, and that JERK not only got nearly perfect grades, he used to GLOAT about them.

“I beat you. AGAIN,” he used to say to me, even if his score was only a single point higher than mine.

“Shut up,” I’d mutter, stuffing my test into my backpack and giving him a look intended to melt his face off.

He often brought up things or asked questions in class that even the teacher couldn’t answer, and then sat there in smug satisfaction at having stumped the supposed expert. He talked about things no one understood. He seemed mysterious. (more…)

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Comments { 30 }

A weekend of Olympic translation

Our patriotism and sportmanship, let me show you it:

Women’s 4x100m relay swimming event = Sobbing child insisting he has already WATCHED the Olympics, can we STOP now?

Men’s Beach Volleyball = That looks itchy.

Men’s Water Polo = What are they doing? Where’s the ball? Is there a ball? I’m bored.

Men’s 56kg Weightlifting = Awesome! Little men scowling at big heavy things!

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Comments { 27 }

Quality bonding time

My husband and my Kira just left for the airport, and try though I did to come up with some sort of viable diversion (“Um, someone stole both of our cars! And there is only one flight from Atlanta to Denver each month so I guess that’s that!”), in the end Kira opted to return home to her family rather than staying here with me forever. That bitch.

I love her to pieces. Just in case that wasn’t clear. You know, because I am so shy and hesitant to share my feelings. I do think Otto is a little relieved that the rampant and random declarations of love are going to cease. For some weird reason it’s okay with him if I spontaneously declare my love for HIM, but he seemed uncomfortable when I felt the need to turn to Kira and say “I JUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH.” I don’t know what his problem is. It’s probably because he wasn’t breastfed.

ANYWAY, as I mentioned before, it was a very busy weekend, and we were driving to the airport to get Kira and then driving out to Joshilyn’s for the 4th of July and then back here and then the kids left and really, it was just busy and exhausting. Which is probably how it came to be that last night we found ourselves just parked on the recliner couch watching horrible television. (more…)

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Comments { 34 }

Resetting clocks and hiding bodies

Well, it’s been a pretty wild weekend. Otto returns later today, and I still have some cleaning to do before he does. For example, I need to clear a path to the office, so that the DSL guys can come hook me up this afternoon.

Also, I need to hide the cookies. Oh! Wait—I already ate the cookies. Well, then! One less thing to do.

Honestly, I had big plans for my weekend, what with the BEING ALL ALONE for two whole days, but in the end I remained the uneventful bore that I am. The only difference, really, was that without Otto here, I was free to watch as many stupid programs on TLC as I wanted without him making fun of me. And I do loves me some TLC trainwreck programming, it’s true. (more…)

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Comments { 37 }

One last present: Confirmed!

So yesterday I told you all about the last round of presents with the kids—the rest of their Christmas presents, and Monkey’s birthday presents, which should be enough presentage (totally a word) to hold us for many months. That, combined with having the kids back home again, should’ve rendered Saturday the perfect day.

But none of that was what I was REALLY looking forward to. No. I mean, it was good to finally have the kids home, and all, but the part I was excited about was not that first night home and the cake and the presents.

Sunday morning we had pancakes. No, that’s not the exciting part. Pancakes is normally a Saturday morning thing, but had to make up for missing it for a few weeks, you know. So yesterday we were rebels and had a big pancake breakfast.

I have to back up for a minute. (more…)

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Comments { 35 }

The last straw

(Hey, I’m so glad that no one else had an opinion on that last post. Heh. Y’all are pretty.)

This morning was one of those times when I actually had to choke back a sob when when the alarm went off, because it felt like I’d JUST gone to bed. This week has been overwhelming with too much work, too many places the kids need to go, too little time to sit and talk to my husband, too many late nights doing absolutely nothing you’d want to stay up late doing.

And the thing is, I think I’ve done pretty well, here. I’ve weathered a new marriage, new home, new town, new state, new school for the kids, new work, new church, new PTA, new friends, new responsibilities and even new local insects. And I don’t ask for much in return; it’s not like I want a medal or anything. I mean, maybe a cookie or something, but whatever. I HAVE HELD UP ADMIRABLY, is all I’m saying. (more…)

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Comments { 50 }

Your hair prayers were answered

Before I delve into recent events here at home, I feel the need to pay a bit of attention to my neglected television category. (Otto allows me to cheat on him periodically with a few select shows… he’s progressive, that way.)

In all seriousness: I may end up addicted to Thank God You’re Here, which is filling the empty space in my heart where Whose Line Is It Anyway? went before I’d finally seen every single episode several times. Dave Foley might even be funnier than Drew Carey.

With great glee: You know I’ve had issues—annoying, continuing issues—with my cable service here. So, really, there are no words to describe how I felt when I heard this little bit of news except, perhaps, “Wow, that’s Comcastic!” (Hey Comcast, karma’s on the phone for you.) (more…)

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Comments { 28 }

The important things

So, my parents are here for the weekend, and I am overjoyed. I never really realize how nice it is not to be the only person in the house who doesn’t think “I know you are, but what am I?” is astute rhetoric until others are here. Then, instead of being outnumbered by my children, I suddenly have reinforcements.

Of course, then the kids have an audience, too. So there is still a fair amount of burping at the dinner table. But at least my urge to make them wear their dinner plates as hats is somewhat lessened.

After not having seen each other for months, it’s only natural that we would stay up until the wee hours catching up on each others’ lives. Or just watching endless hours of CSI: Miami and wondering if David Caruso’s face is, in fact, melting off. Either way.

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If deja vu and irony had a baby

Today Otto and I were talking and he told me about a friend of his who’d just broken up with his girlfriend. They were in a long-distance relationship and we all know how much those can suck. Apparently the woman is ready to commit, and the man is… less so. But—as often happens—the man is now wracked with ambivalence, and turned to Otto for advice.

I was about to crack the obvious joke about someone coming to him for relationship advice, but he beat me to it. After some kidding around, he told me he’d really had to think long and hard about what to say. His friend was struggling and Otto wanted to help, if he could. (more…)

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Comments { 26 }

He makes the time go zoom

I was thinking that I may need a new category name here, soon. I mean, now that I am actually spending more time with Otto than with the television. People, I have shows on the DVR that I haven’t even bothered to glance at. Either I am in love or I am dying. Personally, I’m hoping for the former.

Oh, there are things to tell about the weekend, but I am too tired to tell it all tonight. Tonight you’ll get little more from me than “Weekend good. Like Otto. Have fun. Need more sleep.”

Of course that won’t stop me from saying exactly that in the most verbose way possible, anyway. I am nothing if not predictable. (more…)

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Comments { 22 }
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