Dating? Mostly I’m just packing.
In the comments on the previous post, someone asked if I am, indeed, dating. Of course, I’m not certain if that person was asking if I was dating or if I was airquotes, nudgenudge winkwink DAAAAATING, so I’m not quite sure how to answer. As for the former—it depends on how you define dating; and as for the latter; oh look! Something SHINY!
But I CAN tell you that today my membership to geeFlarmony expired. Isn’t that sad? It is sad. 6 months, no results. Unless you want to count TED. Ted and I were matched just this weekend! While I was away! And in the time it took for me to 1) access the mail and 2) go into my geeFlarmony account, Ted had already requested Fast Track communication—a.k.a. give me your email address right this second so that I can hack you into little bits as soon as possible—and then, THEN, closed the match because “my match never responded after repeated attempts at contact.” It had been less than a week. read more…
Mama, who invented the speculum?
It was an unfortunate intersection of events:
1) My gynecologist’s office decided that I am not allowed to get a new prescription for my beloved hormone patches via phone call; a check-up would be required,
and
2) My sitter had to cancel.
C’mon, kids! We’re going to the gyno! Everybody pick a toy and a blindfold! read more…
Because I’m too tired to tell it tonight
In a fitting return to the east coast and my life, I got to take my children with me to the gynecologist this morning. Because nothing says welcome home like the nurse practitioner trying to ask about your sex life in a way that the kids won’t understand. Hooboy, that was fun. Will definitely fill you in tomorrow.
Anyway, while I try to get back on eastern time, you can go read about me over here if you’re a new reader. Or an old reader. Or really just anyone who maybe needs more hobbies. Whatever.
My Mir went to BlogHer and all I got was this lousy synopsis
I am home! I am exhausted! And I am (apparently) still on Pacific time, so here I am.
I am RIGHT AT THIS VERY MOMENT licking my cable modem, because it’s just so goshdarned nice to, you know, HAVE INTERNET. (My favorite internet-connectivity—or lack thereof—moment from this weekend: Someone leaning over to me and saying, “You know, even at a conference that isn’t ABOUT THE INTERNET I can CHECK MY EMAIL.”)
We brought the system to its knees, I guess, and it turns out that I really CAN live for a few days without checking my email or blogging, though it was touch-and-go there for a little bit.
Anyway, I must SLEEP, but there are a few things to say, first, before I burst into flame what with all the unrequited blogging energy. read more…
Best. Conference. EVAH.
The freebies here are NOT TO BE BELIEVED.
I offer for your consideration, this lovely item made available by ThisNext. It really has to be seen to be believed.
Don’t believe? Take a look.
Here we have our kick-ass freebie modelled by the lovely Her Bad Mother of this place.
I may just skip the rest of the conference.
The bloodshot eyes are tired, not stoned
I have figured out how to make a zillion billion dollars, and I can hardly wait to execute my awesome plan and be rich. And more awake.
The crux is this: If we can pinpoint whatever it is in the human body that regulates circadian rhythms and then ALTER that as needed—say, perhaps with a handy adjustable dial!—we will be filthy rich. And jetlag will be a thing of the past, because forever after people will arrive at their different time zone destinations and when they reset their wristwatches they’ll also, I dunno, lift their shirts and carefully adjust the dial in their belly buttons and instantly be acclimated to the local time.
Good LORD but I am exhausted. read more…
The eagle has landed
And so have we.
Chris and I have arrived in San Jose and are having way more fun than should be legal. Well, I am. Chris keeps saying something about how I’m mean. I’m sure she’s joking.
I made sure our trek started out right by forcing her to pose for a commemorative photo. As you can see, she is disgustingly photogenic and approximately the size of a sparrow. Bitch.
[Edited to add: Here is the view I enjoyed for most of the trip. There may have also been mountains and stuff out the window, I dunno.]
I get an A in boarding, if nothing else
My entire day has been devoted to preparing to pack and actual packing and checking lists (not The List, but other lists) and emailing with the eleventy billion people I’m supposed to be coordinating with and packing some more and eating peanut butter Hershey’s kisses because I bought them to be all NICE and SHARE-Y with Chris during our flight, but she was all “blah blah blah milk allergy” and I was all “you aren’t HUMAN” and now I’m eating them because she doesn’t want any because she’s a robot.
*inhale*
I may be just EVERY SO SLIGHTLY keyed up. From the chocolate. Wait a sec, I have to go pack an apple for Chris…. read more…
Not a euphemism
People. PEOPLE. Poor Otto; he read the comments on that last post (and a few others) and turned to me, shell-shocked, and said, “People say THESE THINGS knowing that YOUR PARENTS read your site. The THINGS they IMPLY. I can’t get over it.”
(This from a man who likes his LL Bean chinos with a side of innuendo. Hmph.)
Anyway, he would still be indignant, I think, if either of us had the energy to care. Or move. Tonight is our last night together, and we are completely spent. I’ve been using muscles that I didn’t even know I had. We are sore and exhausted from moving in tandem for most of the day, back and forth, back and forth….
What? We were busy sealing the driveway.
The list, the list, the list is on fire
Greetings from bizarre juxtaposition central! On the one hand, I am enjoying a rare child-free weekend with another adult. If I don’t want to get up, I don’t have to! If we want to have ice cream for dinner, we can! If we want to… um, well, HEY look over there, something SHINY! Anyway! That whole side of things is lovely and carefree and relaxed.
On the other hand, there is The List. And The List demands that certain things be completed before this visit is over, and try as I might to fill the list with items like SMOOCHING and SLEEPING LATE, it remains chock-full of actual to-dos that mean we have to, well, DO THINGS. read more…