Monkey hopped in bed with me at 8:30 this morning (much later than usual; divine) after making a very wide circle around the bed while soliloquizing as only a four-and-a-half-year-old can about how he was going to be so very careful not to touch my ouchie belly and be very gentle with his nice Mama. Then he got in bed and snuggled up and patted me for a while. Chickadee spent her day alternately mouthing off to me and clinging to me. I think I would like to understand what's going on in her head, sometimes, but then I realize that with this complicated little one my heart is better off not...
Yay 1: Despite a rather horrid night of asleep and not and nightmares and awake and general ikkiness, since rising this morning I have not considered vomiting even once. And I ate some breakfast, even! I mean, yes, okay; I still feel very much as though I was run over by a truck. But today I envision a small delivery van, perhaps something from FedEx Ground, rather than the large semi that had previously been featured in the Recurring Movie Of My Own Creation Explaining How I Came To Feel Like Complete And Utter Excrement. YAY! Yay 2: I was able to corral my brain cells into attending to an...
I was riding high on the... uhhh... high (high high high!) of my clean house yesterday as I prepared for an evening of pizza and sympathy with a few friends. My last supper. Courtesy of Pizza Hut. I should just move into a trailer and be done with the facade, I know. Anyway. I was feeling good. Six friends had been invited. In the end, one made it. Well, that's okay. Other people have lives, too (so I hear), so I was not to be deterred from my high! Alright! Excellent friend, you and me, baybeeeee! Let's eat some pizza and watch a really bad horror film! Okay! Rock on! We had a good time....
1) Don't wait until facing major surgery to clean your microwave. Trust me on this one. 2) Do pour bleach in all the toilet bowls to soak for a while. 3) Don't assume that surfaces above head-level do not accumulate dust just because you can't see them. 4) Do enlist the children's help in tidying up their messes. 5) Don't forget to check their work before they leave on vacation. 6) Do blame yourself for not being more specific. Do say, "Please tidy up the playroom." Also remember to say, "And that does not mean just pick up all the crap and shove it on the shelves or kick it to the...
Haha! Just kidding! I am really not wishing for September already. We are having a fine time, me and my offspring. Never better. You so wish you were me. Here's how the day has gone, so far: 5:45 AM. Monkey arrives in my bed. I open one eye, tell him that he may stay as long as he is silent and doesn't move, and go back to sleep. 6:00 AM. I remove feet from my hair and turn on the Disney Channel. Did you know that the remote works under the blankets? Technology is wonderful. 6:45 AM. Monkey informs me that my pajamas are very pretty, and he is so hungry he could eat a hippo. Flattery will...
There are words that so skillfully convey their intention that they just taste right. The perfection of them make me want to weep with joy... unless, of course, I'm dealing with life and not just sitting around savoring words. But I gave myself a few seconds, just now, to roll the world "fritter" around in my mouth and brain before I commence Freaking. Out. Alas, I have frittered away my weekend. In my mind's eye I can actually conjure an image of useful time units fluttering away in the breeze as I toss them from a decorative basket, giggling. It's not just any weekend, either. It's a long...
So... uh... I forgot to mention one teeny little pertinent bit of information in the peanut butter nuts story. The gifted gentleman in question? My pastor. Church today? A little weird. (Help me, Oh Lord... disturbing images flit through my brain....) I came home ready to tackle A Project. My kid-free weekends are full of Projects, because anyone who's undertaken A Project with their offspring's "help" knows that while it may build memories that last a lifetime, it also tends to make said project take a lifetime. Today, being a bright, gorgeous day even better (warmer) than yesterday, seemed...
This cold is kicking my butt. And being the deep, introspective, philosophical being that I am, my deepest musing at this point is... "Will I be well enough to mow the lawn tomorrow, as it is forecast to be the first of 40 days in a row without rain, and if not, exactly how long does the grass have to be before it is considered child abuse to allow my children to play outside?" I am a reluctant asthmatic, and by this I mean that I am one of those folks who mostly outgrew childhood asthma, and whatever remains I largely ignore through denial. There is no medication for asthma of which I'm...
Last night I noted that I needed to help a friend after the kids were in bed. By "help a friend" I of course meant that my friend Eileen is too chicken to color her own hair, and in the logic that only a best friend can have, figured it was somehow safer to come over to my house, ply me with alcohol, and let me do it. I am pleased to report that we did indeed wash that grey right outta her hair and it was a fairly early night. I didn't even dye much of her face. However, lightweight that I am, it seemed somehow wrong to try to sit down and do my reading for my church study group after an...
