This is Mir. This is Mir on speed. Any questions?

By Mir
May 26, 2004

This cold is kicking my butt. And being the deep, introspective, philosophical being that I am, my deepest musing at this point is… “Will I be well enough to mow the lawn tomorrow, as it is forecast to be the first of 40 days in a row without rain, and if not, exactly how long does the grass have to be before it is considered child abuse to allow my children to play outside?”

I am a reluctant asthmatic, and by this I mean that I am one of those folks who mostly outgrew childhood asthma, and whatever remains I largely ignore through denial. There is no medication for asthma of which I’m aware that doesn’t have side effects that are more annoying than a little wheezing. But now I have a cold, and my lungs greeted those invading germs with outstretched arms. “Come on in here, guys, she might not even notice!”

So I spent the first half of the day waiting for death to come and take me away, but it didn’t happen. (Instead, he made a brief appearance to tell me to get my hypochondriac pansy ass out of my pajamas, laughed in my face, and took off.) By the time afternoon rolled around, I had to admit that my biggest problem was difficulty breathing. I’m rather fond of breathing–I do it all the time–so this was a problem, indeed. I realized that if I hoped to get anything at all done today, I would need to get out The Inhaler.

A little digging in my purse unearthed my trusty Albuterol inhaler. Albuterol comes from the Greek for “makes your heart race, causes jitters, and imbues an inexplicable feeling of impending doom that is alleviated only with constant motion.” Good stuff. It does open the lungs up, which is very handy.

Anyway, the rest of the afternoon went pretty well. I put away all of the laundry that’s been sitting around in baskets upstairs… and I did four more loads of laundry… put all of those away… cleaned the kids’ rooms… took out the trash… cleaned out my car… organized my medicine cabinet… called a couple of friends… alphabetized my sock drawer… counted how many grey hairs I have (don’t ask)… and painted the entire house. (Okay, I didn’t really do that last one, but only because I don’t have any paint.) AndI’mfeelingjustfinenowthanks.


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