I don't know when I got them, exactly; it seems to me that it was probably when I was pregnant with Chickadee or when she was very small. Something about how babies would find wind chimes soothing, I think. Back then I was all about Doing It Right and I was very busy strictly adhering to the Organic Twigs and Berries diet so that I could have the Perfect Healthy Baby. (Other things I was busy doing: Buying the Perfect Stroller, picking out the Perfect Crib Bedding, and driving myself Perfectly Batshit Insane worrying that I Would Somehow Mess Up The Perfect Baby.) [Digression: My Perfect...
There's an interesting study to be made of my decorating choices in my first marriage and the different sorts of items I place importance on, now, in this home. Everyone I know goes through that phase in early adulthood where you don't so much "decorate" as "scavenge," of course, but even once the money was there to be more deliberate about our furnishings, oh, what a different person I was back then. Our dining room set was... sturdy. Yes. Oak, mostly. Official-looking. We rarely used it. The price was excellent, as I recall, and I talked about reupholstering the (uncomfortable) chairs at...
Otto is a man of relatively few words when it comes to feelings. It's not that he doesn't HAVE them, or even that he won't talk ABOUT them, if pressed, but despite his penchant for a good story, he is somewhat taciturn when it comes to attempting to quantify the changes of the last year-and-change. If, for example, you ask him what the biggest difference is? He will most often recall (usually while being bedtime-tackled by both kids, who are vying for the best hugging position) how in the beginning I would say, "Okay, kids, go say goodnight to Otto," and Monkey would go give him a hug and...
You'll have to forgive me a bit of sappiness, today, but this is what happens when I've just been to what was perhaps the nicest wedding I've ever attended (I'm not counting my own, you understand). While MY "year of living changerously" can be said to have already lapsed, on this last trip I was struck several times by the enormity of such changes for others. Then, of course, it occurred to me that EVERY year is a year of change, for nearly everyone. But the changes wrought by love are my very favorites. I'm feeling incredibly blessed, today, to have gotten to share in some of these changes...
Today is the last day of school, and that means my children have survived an entire year of learnin' courtesy of the great state of Georgia, and the more things change, the more they stay the same. For example, I was still scrambling around this morning putting together teacher gifts, just like every year. And I was hacking up a watermelon for a class party, last night, while complaining about it. That didn't used to happen until June, back up north, but BELIEVE ME, it happened. And I promised my daughter pink hair (new, true) and completely failed to deliver (not new) just the way I am...
Dear Otto, Happy anniversary, darling! I know I'm a few days late. I'm sorry. This is rather representative of our entire relationship, though, that it somehow just doesn't work out the way we thought it would, timing-wise. This is not to say that it doesn't work out, just that planning has become something of a farce 'round here. Nevertheless, we've made it an entire year. It's official and everything---even our alumni magazine announced the news in its latest issue, so I guess you're stuck with me now. Nineteen years behind us, one of them married, and do you know what? I still think it...
Otto has one of these, and this morning I played with it for a while. I wanted to take a picture of something I love that feels like it's hard to grasp, right now, because Lensbabies pictures always look like you've captured something fleeting. Last night I finally gave voice to something I've known for a long time, but I've been wishing really hard for it to not be true. I know I don't talk about it a lot here, because it's a lot more interesting to yammer on about swearing at telemarketers or whatever, but my involvement in church is a big part of my life. A big part of who I am, or at...
I have often said that one of the advantages of having a (mostly) not-very-good and then a (towards the end) wholly-fucked-up marriage, the first time around, is that---despite being rather high-maintenance in general (shut up)---I am so profoundly grateful for everything Otto and I have, I'm really quite easy to keep happy on the marital front. Why yes, I DID just say he's SO LUCKY to have me. And I am happier, and probably healthier, as a result. Which is probably the reason why a very pretty reader of mine thought of me when she got this little assignment for a tiny little magazine, and...
There is snow on my deck. There is ice on the driveway. I ask you: Did I not leave New England so that I'd no longer have to deal with this nonsense? I think I did. (What's that, Otto? Oh, yes, honey. Of course. I left to be with YOU. That was my only concern. True love led me away, and nothing else mattered. You're right, darling. Love you!) Nevertheless, last night brought a Great Big Georgia Storm and they didn't even have the decency to close school, today. But then the children bickered over breakfast and I realized that sure, sleeping in after checking the news would've been lovely,...
