You know, I am positively kicking myself for not grabbing the Post-It on which the dipstick was scribbled. I should've said, "Can I take that with me? You know, to refer to it later?" A golden opportunity, missed. I hang my head in shame. I also wish I'd brought all of you with me, as you were much more out for blood than I was. You could've made them cry, I think. My stance was more or less one of confused incredulity, where everything they said to me just pushed me further into wondering if there were hidden cameras around, or perhaps I'd stumbled into an episode of The Twilight Zone....
My voice has gone through the many stages of aggravated cold status, arriving today at Just Sort Of Husky And If You Didn't Know It Was Due to Phlegm Maybe Sort Of Sexy. (Previous states include: Raspy, Squeaky, Gone, and Coughing Too Much To Really Talk Anyway.) This stage is my favorite so far. Now when I answer the phone, people seem mildly taken aback and/or confused, as opposed to other stages when my attempt at "Hello?" was greeted with "Oh my GOD you sound AWFUL!" I was just thinking how much better I felt, this morning, when Chickadee said, "My throat hurts a little." Hmph. No...
Oh, settle down. There wasn't any profit involved for ME. As I mentioned in passing, Chickadee went to the dentist last week to have a couple of baby teeth out. She was perfectly fine until the syringe touched her gums, and then crocodile tears began to run down her face and the moaning started. She was, in a word, terrified. And nothing any of us did or said made it any better, and the sweet young dentist removed her gloves and refused to proceed, saying that she didn't want her to have a "negative experience that will sour her on dentists forever." I didn't feel like we were exactly...
Halloween truism the first: If you set out a bowl of mixed candy, with the Heath bars all on the bottom and well-hidden under the lollipops, you will still come home to a bowl devoid of Heath bars, even if there are lollipops left. Halloween truism the second: The more elaborate and clever the costume, the more the wearer will want to remove it RIGHT NOW. Halloween truism the third: Someone always ends up sick. Happy freaking Halloween. No, really, we had a nice evening. Except for how Chickadee needed her hair done JUST SO and I spent an inordinate amount of time pinning it up and making it...
So, I would've gotten here sooner, but I was sort of busy yelling very loudly. Also, rending my clothing and cursing the name of anyone I've ever known. Lucky Otto! He picked such a good time to visit! There were just a few sucktastic days in there for various reasons. Many of those reasons are only interesting to me, I'm sure, (a bleach spot on my favorite purple shirt! WHY, GOD, WHY?) but those of you who aren't busy skipping everything I've ever said about my children's health and then telling me that I am just randomly "doing things" to my children and I need to stop (why? why am I doing...
I'm smack-dab in the middle of a Busy Time with work, which is a good thing, and also it's PTA newsletter time again, so my life is completely fascinating right now, full of highly bloggable material like "today I sat at my computer and wrote stuff for eight hours, stopping only to tell the poor telemarketer from that company that rhymes with Horizon that if they called me one more time I was going to cancel my cellular service." But that's why you read me. Because my life is so much more thrilling than yours. Anyway, after a long day, the kids came home and I stopped working long enough to...
The massive cleaning out of the crap continues apace. There's no shortage of junk around here, that's for sure. I have this crazy dream that someday I'll look around my house and only see stuff that we NEED and USE. Is that crazy, or what? Today we had soccer (where Monkey's team triumphantly TIED for the second week in a row! they are really not-quite-sucking, now!) and came home and had hot cocoa (because it was 40 degrees on the soccer field) and I decided to do some baking. Mmmmm, delicious gluten-free pumpkin bread! It really is delicious, but now I understand that "gluten" means...
It's not often that I find my spam mail to be prophetic, but hey---stranger things have certainly happened. This morning amidst the advertisements for mortgages, diet pills, bodily enhancements, and RILLY RILLY REAL ROLEXES, GINA!, I received this gem of a subject line: Oh, you are not able to control your feelings! I think we all know what the email was really about (ummm... donuts?), but after today it made me laugh. You know how people sometimes seem one way on their blogs, and then it turns out that it was all a lie and they're actually really different? I never want to be the sort of...
I think I may need to stop reading blogs for a while. And stop watching the news. And stop talking to anyone. Mmmkay? I'll be here in my cave if you need me, but only if you have something nice to say. The world is a stupid, scary place these days. I feel guilty for having brought more people into it. Which is why I am going to purposefully ignore any of the myriad happenings I'd really LIKE to point to and say, "Oh! Look! Crazy people!" and instead tell you about how your daughters may, in fact, be lovely, but I got the very best one even though she often goes deep undercover as the world's...
