More information, less knowledge

So, I would’ve gotten here sooner, but I was sort of busy yelling very loudly. Also, rending my clothing and cursing the name of anyone I’ve ever known. Lucky Otto! He picked such a good time to visit!

There were just a few sucktastic days in there for various reasons. Many of those reasons are only interesting to me, I’m sure, (a bleach spot on my favorite purple shirt! WHY, GOD, WHY?) but those of you who aren’t busy skipping everything I’ve ever said about my children’s health and then telling me that I am just randomly “doing things” to my children and I need to stop (why? why am I doing that? for the sheer joy it brings me to not be able to cook like a normal person?) might want to hear about Monkey’s recent appointment with the allergist, I thought.

Actually, I would like to hear about his appointment with the allergist, too. But there’s nothing I can share about that, because it didn’t actually happen. Instead, I got the kids from school early, headed into the Big Bad City—armed with the directions my ex had kindly forwarded to me because he knows I get lost easily—and got lost.

Rather, I thought I was going the right way and it turned out that I wasn’t. And by the time I figured that out, I had entered a stretch of roadway where it was impossible to turn around for about ten miles.

There was a lot of swearing and pounding on the steering wheel and calling my ex to ask why these directions which I had followed to the letter had taken me to a different state, and in the end we got there about twelve minutes late.

And they refused to see us.

(Would anyone like to visit the only medical office in the WORLD where they run completely on time? I think I found it. I even know how to get there, now.)

And you know, it’s fine. It’s fine, really. They’re well within their rights to refuse to see us if we’re late, even if I stand there crying and very much wanting to to harm everyone associated with my 90-minute-long adventure that resulted in bupkis. But that’s fine.

He’ll go another time, and maybe that will be useful.

In the meantime, I finally wrangled a copy of Monkey’s blood test results from his primary doctor, as I was becoming increasingly curious as to what would constitute inconclusive results yet prompt the doctor to recommend we go gluten-free. So now I have a sheet full of numbers that confirm what I’d suspected: He was tested for the 3 things that tend to indicate celiac, and 2 of the three tests were negative. The third is a whopping positive, but also considered the most general of the available tests. It indicates the kind of allergic reaction which celiac is, but but doesn’t confirm it to be either an intolerance of gluten or of apples or even Rush Limbaugh. We just don’t know.

We should really see an allergist.

(I am full of good ideas.)

In the meantime, I completely bungled the PTA newsletter this month. Go, me. It’s all fixed now except for my intense need to curl up in the corner and never take on anything like this ever again. Basically, my multi-tasking ability is just fine, but my multi-stressing ability is not. I can handle many things at once as long as they’re low-stress. Throw in a few high-stress things at once and I’m a wreck.

So. Now I know Monkey’s test results, and now I know why it’s important to double-check everything and get a fresh pair of eyes to review the newsletter before I send it off to the printer. Fine. But in the future, either my son can be healthy and not have eighty gazillion doctors’ appointments on every end of the earth OR I can handle the stupid newsletter.

I’ll just leave the PTA and my son’s antibody levels to duke it out and get back to me.


  1. tori

    You know I totally understand the stress of all of this. I don’t understand why things can’t just hit us one at a time. That would make things so much easier! I’m hoping you get to see the allergist soon and things get easier!

  2. Marvo

    Ooooh, is the fight between the PTA and your son’s antibody level going to be on pay-per-view. That would totally rock!

    Sorry, lame joke. ;-)

  3. elswhere

    Sheesh. I share your propensity for getting lost, and if my doctors’ offices were like that I would have had *no medical care* as an adult. Like, ever.

  4. Mary Beth

    I think about all the times I’ve waited for more than an hour to see a doctor. How infuriating that a patient can’t be just a few minutes late.

    I’ve done PTA newsletters myself. What a joy. And I, too, have the distinction of getting lost and winding up in another state. Of course, the wrong state was just one exit away from where I wanted to go.

    Well, the weekend is here and you deserve a good one. I love reading your blog.

  5. Valbee

    Why? WHY do some doctors’ offices do that? Were it not for the fact that I have an excellent doctor myself and love most of his staff, I hear so many others’ experiences that are horrid, including my own boyfriend, who is diabetic and can’t do a damn thing unless he gets approval from his general practioner first, whose name is appropriately pronounced (I swear I’m not kidding) never-ask-us – and he never can because their freaking lunch hour seems to last all day! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to rant in your comments. Hang in there – there’s no doubt in my mind that you’re doing everything you’re supposed to be doing – and were it not for the obstacles that keep getting thrown in your way, you’d have answers by now.

  6. Plain Jane Mom

    WOW, what a jerk! I can’t believe they wouldn’t see you. If you go back and they make you wait more than 12 minutes (gee what are the odds) I suggest you raise a HUGE stink. Heck, call me and I’ll do it!

  7. Daisy

    I’ll trade our psychiatrist for your allergist. The psych guy can’t tell time; we always wait at least 30 minutes. Last time it was 4o minutes, after a 40 minute drive to get there.

  8. Dawn

    There had to be other patients in the waiting room. Why couldn’t they just have called one of them in early and seen Monkey in the other person’s timeslot? Even if they made you wait until the end of the clinic, it would have been more fair. Grrrr!

    As for the newsletter, I have discovered that there seem to be three main principles of publishing: 1) it is completely impossible to proof your own work; 2) you will miss typos on the screen that are immediately glaring to you once you see the document in print; AND, there is NO document on the face of the planet without a typo in it. And the corollary of number 3: Whatever is the worst possible typo is the one that will escape your notice until after 3,000 copies of the document have been distributed far and wide. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

  9. Melanie

    I hope the weekend is nice and stressless and relaxing (and possibly sex-filled??) ;) I can’t believe the doctor’s office couldn’t see you then!! I mean, it’s not like you were late on purpose or something, it was a simple driving error, and that’s a looong trip to have to retake. I think I would have thrown a fit and then found a new doctor.

  10. Christina

    Just this morning I waited an hour to see my doctor, I guess I should have refused to see them :)

  11. rachel

    our docs say they refuse to see people if they are more than 15 minutes late, but for lovely people like us who are always there, they make exceptions.

    My former migraine doctor had a different way of approaching appointments. He said “sometimes you wait because there is an emergency. Sometimes you are the emergency”. Profound, and oh so true.

    I hope you can get good answers for Monkey, and sooner rather than later.

  12. nancy

    We have a great allergist if you need one – locates just outside of Boston (she would never not see you for being late).

  13. Niki

    What is it about purple shirts and bleach spots? I have owned 3 shirts in my favorite periwinkle purple, and have gotten bleach spots (or stripes!) on all 3 of them. I have just quit buying shirts in that color.

  14. Suebob

    Mir, would you quit “doing things” to your kids? I mean, come on.

    Your doctor sounds like an incredible dick for not seeing you.

  15. Cele

    I (and my mother too) have walked out of a doctor’s office when they didn’t see me within the 20 minutes the notice on the wall states they should see me in (it only happened once.)

    Now that does not include the times that they were nice enough to warn me my doctor was running late because of an emergency – I was nice enough to wait around, because they were nice enough to warn me.

    How professionally rude of them.

  16. InterstellarLass

    12 minutes late and the doctor wouldn’t see you? Rediculous! And what about the 12 minutes you would have spent in the waiting room? In the exam room? I have two doctors in my family, and I don’t think they have ever been that inflexible. Especially if you traveled any distance to see them!

  17. Laura

    You should check with your insurance company- I bet those bastards billed for the appointment that didn’t happen.

    Is it too early in the morning to be this cynical?

  18. peepnroosmom

    I would have cried, too. Then been ticked off. I have to wait horrible amounts of time at my drs. office and I never refuse to see them. Doctors!

  19. Susan

    I totally have Rush Limbaugh intolerance. Should I go gluten-free?


  20. Roberta

    I know you don’t know me and I just recently started reading your blog so I hope I am not being redundant here. And I hope you don’t think I am being obnoxo for offering up info. Yes you should see an allergist, but also do you live near a childrens hospital? They are going to have the cutting edge of childrens research at their fingertips and typically have better informed MD’s /staff. Again my apologies if this is redundant here.

  21. dorothy

    Oh, God – so sorry to hear it.

  22. Lesley

    Oh man, do I feel your pain about being late to the allergist. I just put my fist through my monitor on your behalf. No really, I’m typing this blind now. Hope things are looking up soon.

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