Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there with open arms and open eyes, yeah. Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there... I'll be there. (Seemed all karmic and meaningful the first gazillion times it played its way through my brain. Probably still is, but the meaning started to blur around replay number gazillion and one....)
I've changed a lot in my years on this planet. The woman I am today is different than the woman I was twenty or ten or even five years ago. People grow; priorities shift, we (hopefully!) mature into finding the things that really matter to us. Some things, of course, stay more or less the same. I still love chocolate; always have, always will. I still love singing, being outdoors, making people laugh; all constants from my earliest days. And I am still just about impossible to please. It's not so much that I am never happy as that it is very difficult for me to relax into happiness for any...
Thanks to my pal and comrade-in-insanity, Joshilyn, I finally have a concise explanation for that feeling I sometimes get. You know the one... where everything is just a tad off, you're a little bit edgy, and--perhaps most importantly--you feel compelled to do stupid things. Why yes, that is pretty much how I feel all the time, but I mean the feeling of those sorts of things being exacerbated, somehow. The feeling of wanting and needing something that is just out of reach. That feeling, my friends, (and thanks to Joss for pointing it out) is the feeling of my Mental Illness Number soaring...
In lieu of prepping for and heading out to the interview which I was supposed to have today, I am of course accomplishing all sorts of necessary tasks around the house. The place is spotless; the laundry is done; the driveway is shovelled; and I have alphabetized everyone's sock drawers. Aaaaaaaahahahahhaaha! Don't you love it when I'm ridiculous? I might've fooled everyone, too, if I hadn't thrown in the obvious lie about the laundry being done. That's me, just straying a wee bit over the top and causing the entire story to collapse. Alas. Okay, what I've actually been doing today is...
I may be cresting that cusp sooner than I'd anticipated. Remember this? I was astounded when I didn't receive an interview in response to my job query. I just received a very lovely email letting me know that they'd put out the job listing because they were so busy, but because they were so busy, they'd not been able to look at the applicants until now. And my letter was "intriguing," and am I still available? Let's not sugarcoat this: I'll still have ample opportunity to fall on my face. It's not time to count chickens (or as Chickadee says, "count Chickadees! HAHAHAHA!"). But it's a step....
I had dreams last night of the children as babies again; at the same time. Granted, they are only 20 months apart, but there's a huge difference between a 2-year-old and an infant. Regardless, in my dream, they were both fuzzy-headed, gurgling babies. As the no-real-plot saga unfolded in my sleeping mind, I was faced with trying to attend to them both, and figure out which one needed my attention more. Although I was undisturbed by their sudden reversion in age, I was overcome with panic about keeping them safe. It was a constant battle to determine which one was more in need of my rescue....
So, yesterday, I valiantly braved the storm. No, not the storm outside. The storm inside. The storm of Two Children Who Are Bored. They really needed to go outside and run off some of their energy, but given the whole icy pellets causing bleeding eyelids thing, I decided to keep them in. They bounced off the walls and they bounced off the ceiling and they bounced off each other and then screamed that they'd been TOUCHED and I should make the offender DIE FOR THEIR SINS and being the fabulous mother than I am, I turned up the volume on the television. I tried to start getting ready for...
Stolen from Zoot, who stole it from someone else. I haven't done a meme in a loooong time, but this one looked like a fitting end to the year. Plus nothing interesting happened to me today, because I suspect my son asking me questions at full-volume and my daughter dropping candy all over the floor during Polar Express was amusing only to me. She only ate one off of the floor before I caught her. Ewwwwwww. 1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? Hmmmm. I got dumped. Which believe it or not, had not happened to me before. Does that count as something that I did? No? Let me...
Everyone has their little foibles, right? It sounds so quaint to say "foibles" instead of just saying damn, some people are unbelievably anal. Same meaning, different nuance. Foible: cute, adorable, fuzzy, and quirky. Anal: ewwwwwwww. I am not anal. I have foibles. Tralala! Several of my foibles converged today. I'm about all foibled out. Foible Number 1: I pay ON TIME and NOT A PENNY MORE The quickest way to make my head blow up is to screw with my sense of responsibility regarding money. Let's say I agree to a direct debit of a monthly amount to cover a bill, and you decide to charge me...