On love

By Mir
February 14, 2005

Kudos to Hallmark for creating a day when people are obligated to express their love to those they cherish. Why settle for spontaneous, heartfelt declarations when you can have calendar-dictated purchasing of greeting cards, I say!

By the way, before anyone gets their panties in a wad (although I certainly hope they are satin panties with little hearts! For the love of all that is consumer-oriented!!), I wrote this post last night and future-dated it. I’m not blogging from work. As this is being published, I am probably napping at my desk.

Kidding. We have free coffee and it’s good. I couldn’t nap there if I wanted to. Also I think I’ll set this to publish at lunchtime. Go ahead; you read and I’ll eat my sandwich.

Where was I? Oh! Right. Love.

I can remember a Valentine’s Day when I was alone, and I dressed in black and spoke my disdain for the day and hung out with fellow singles and was fine.

I can remember a Valentine’s Day when I was with a man who tried very hard but consistently missed the mark. I was pleased that he tried.

I can remember a Valentine’s Day when I was alone and I didn’t want to be, and despair colored the edges of my world.

I can remember plenty of Valentine’s Days with my husband where I reminded myself that he was a good man and I tried to convince myself that the complete lack of romance in our relationship wasn’t a big deal.

I can remember a Valentine’s Day when the man I loved told me that he wondered if I didn’t love him more than he loved me. It turned out he was right.

I will remember this Valentine’s Day as one that came and went with no outward fanfare. I will remember that my daughter snored quietly as I pulled the blankets up over her the night before, and that my son had an endless grin and icy feet when he climbed into bed with me in the morning. I will remember that someone occupied my thoughts in the best possible way, and that I was on someone’s mind as well. I will remember that I presented the “pizza for both lunch and dinner” snafu to my children as if it was planned and a huge treat.

I will remember it as the year I learned to risk and to let go sometimes, and relearned to love and be loved.


  1. RockStar Mommy

    You know my feelings on this stupid holiday. I just CAN’T bring myself to show more affection for my husband than usual because Hallmark told me I have to.

    That being said, I’m off to make Vday cookies with my kid…
    What can I say?
    I’m a softie.

  2. Chewie


    I’ll have to tell you all about my horrid Vday history sometime…go check our mutual hang out and I’ll spill there…


  3. Ben

    Sneaky little hobbitses, making post-thing during lunch hour.

  4. The Zero Boss

    You sacriligious motherfuckers. Don’t you know that St. Valentine died for your SINS???

    Oh, no, wait – that was the other guy…

  5. dad

    All in all a pretty good year!

    And lest you forget,(I said in my best olde English): your trend line is very positive.

    Growth is good, and by the way, Happy Valentine’s Day.

  6. Suzanne

    Happy Valentines Day Sistah!

  7. ken

    Happy valentines to you and your precious angels.

  8. Keith of R.Electrons

    Happy Valentines Day!
    Hope it was a good one!

  9. Nina

    Beautifully written! I too can remember so many different emotions on different valentines days. The best hve been since I had my daughter though, because the love I feel for her is so immense!

  10. dave

    (I admit to looking for your dad’s comment right away today. Nice to see him happy for you. Nice to see you happy too.)

  11. Bob

    not that it makes your v-day experience any better, but in support of your anti-corporate “don’t tell me what or when or who to love and how to express it” stance, my valentine’s day gift to my wife was a trip to a nursery. She wasn’t interested in cards, candy, or flowers (except those she buys herself to plant – i.e. trip to nursery). This may play against your angst about having a husband who wasn’t romantic, but in my defense my wife had 3 hours of dental work yesterday morning and wasn’t in the mood for anything but pain killers.

    take that, hallmark.

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