I am not worrying. Nope. Not me. I mean, I'm sure it's PERFECTLY FINE that my son has had his new appliances in for three days and is still basically refusing to eat or drink. The fact that I've spent the last three days in the kitchen making smoothies, special yogurts, the smoothest mashed potatoes known to man, and turning cornbread into a beverage only to watch two sips/bites turn into an hour-long odyssey of fury and exhaustion---after which the food I spent so long preparing ends up in the trash---is no big deal. And even though the child doesn't have a spare ounce of body fat on him,...
So last night we grabbed a couple of friends and headed out to a little dive for beer and wings, because that seemed like a fitting way to celebrate our last child-free night. No matter how hard I try, I just cannot get the kids interested in hot wings. (Or beer. Damn kids.) So anyway, first someone brought us some water and then DIED, or at least that's what we assume happened, because after a good half hour of sitting there with just water, Otto had to go track down someone to wait on us. The gentleman he brought back was extremely sweaty and I could not stop staring at his hairline, where...
I have a love-hate relationship with the phone. On the one hand, it IS a device for making with the talky-talky, and anyone who's ever met me knows that I am quite enamored of the talking. OBVIOUSLY. And I clearly recall having spent the majority of my teenage years with a phone stuck to my head. But now in real, adult life... well, the phone, it vexes me. Of course, telemarketers are part of the reason I find it vexing. And yes, there's that whole DO NOT CALL list, but it turns out that there's so many caveats on that list, it's next to useless. Anyone with whom you're already doing...
Hey, remember when Otto and I got married? And then went on the world's shortest honeymoon while I coughed up a lung? Wasn't that fun? I mean, except for the lung-coughing part? And then we had to part ways (again!) and later, when it was time for me to move down here, which involved a long drive and then mortgaging ourselves into submission before the children arrived. My point here is that it's possible that Otto and I never really had a good stretch of time to just hang out, just the two of us, and enjoy our newlywed bliss. Well, being the prince that he is, Otto flew the kids up to...
1) Some freak stumbling across some pictures of my shoes and then contacting me to ask if I have any for sale, claiming to be a thrift store owner. Suuuuure you are, Sleazy McFetish. 2) Having to get up at 4:30 to get the family out the door for their flight up to New England. 3) Having my daughter decide at 5:00 in the morning that she forget to pack something. A, I do not care, B, it's a good thing you're about to leave for a week, and C, get out and let me go back to bed. 4) Being wide awake at 5:15 after everyone has left and I am free to go to sleep. 5) Snow. In Georgia. In March....
Yesterday it was over 70 degrees here. Balmy! (Which is not the same as BLAMY, which is what I typed the first time, because I need more coffee.) I found myself fairly skipping through the daffodils (oh, yes---we have daffodils, dozens of them) and weaving ribbons in my hair with the help of cartoon bluebirds. Because THIS, this is what WEATHER SHOULD BE! It was warm and breezy and sunny and gorgeous, and I was totally willing to pretend that it wasn't happening on the hind end of February when I have friends digging out of the snow up north. I also opted to conveniently ignore the fact that...
Well, THAT was an exciting weekend. Sometimes my life is just so darned thrilling, I can barely believe it. I dunno... the whole Leap Year thing, it feels like we should mark the day, somehow. We're always saying "I just need a few more hours in the day!" and then we get an entire extra day, and what do we do? Well, I don't know what YOU do, obviously, but I spend it just like any other day, and then I feel like I've wasted my opportunity to catch up. Now I have to wait four more years to blow it the next time. Sheesh. Actually, we didn't spend Leap Day COMPLETELY like any other day. One...
Remember those "choose your own adventure" books? I remember how excited I was when they first came out. And then I realized that no matter what I did, I always picked wrong. You've come to a fork in the path! Do you go left or right? *I choose left and turn to the page directed* Too bad! You walk three more feet down the path and fall into a trap, breaking every bone in your body, and are then eaten by a pack of hungry goblins. Sorry! Story of my life, man. STORY OF MY LIFE. (Somewhere in the back, Otto is now going, "HEY!" Okay, I don't ALWAYS pick wrong. But let's just say I manage the...
Yes: Monkey was a gem at the dentist yesterday, and charmed the pants off of the entire staff. (Note: That's hyperbole. I'm pretty sure everyone was still wearing pants when we left.) No: Apparently our craptastic dental insurance will consider itself maxed out for the year as soon as we submit the orthodontist bill, which means we get to pay for all cleanings and anything else for the rest of the year. And by the way, the dentist recommends cleanings FOUR TIMES A YEAR for children with orthodontic devices. Yes: It's not snowing. No: It's 35 degrees out and pouring. Yes: Chickadee wisely...
