One of the joys of living in a small community is that if you're hoping to run into someone you know, the chances of it happening are excellent. (One of the sucky things about living in a small community is that you're also likely to run into people you'd rather not. Oh well.) Anyway, it was with great jubilee today that I parked at the grocery store and noted a friend-of-a-friend pulling her van out of a nearby parking spot. I didn't want to appear over-eager so I ran up along side her door and pounded on the window while she was checking traffic behind her. She only had a minor aneurysm....
Signs that I am still my usual weird and neurotic self in spite of my fabulous new job which I am not talking about except for the part where I can't stop mentioning it: 1) I have serious TiVo envy. Part of this stems from the fact that I cannot stop myself from watching "ER" every Thursday even though it jumped the shark several seasons ago. It's like passing a car accident; come home from choir, watch "ER." If I had TiVo, at least I could fast-forward through the boring parts. Or maybe TiVo would figure out that I really don't WANT to watch "ER" and would refuse to tape it for me. 2)...
Could someone please explain to me what it is about a woman being happy and not at all looking that suddenly makes her irresistible to men? Is the adage about always wanting what you can't have really true? Once upon a time, I was sorta kinda fixed up with this guy at a time when I would've gladly gone out with any guy who asked me nicely. Only, he never asked me out. He sent me emails and beeped me on IM and then proceeded to wander off in the middle of our chats more than once. I tried to keep an open mind, but after a few weeks, I changed my settings so that he couldn't see me on IM, and...
Dear blind friend-of-a-friend fix-up guy, You know, I was almost believing that excuse about delayed IMs because of "not being a very fast typist." But I must say that if you delay long enough between responses that I have ample time to track down your profile on match.com and it turns out that you're ONLINE AND ACTIVE that sort of ruins the impression of slow but undivided attention. Busted. Also? It says which is your best feature. Not which is your most prominent personality trait. Gold star to whomever identifies what he answered for that.... *snort* Sincerely, She who is tiring of the...
Did you know there's a marathon going on all day today? Yeah, baby. Me, Stacy, and Clinton. Ushering in the new year. Woo! Is it hot in here? Here's to 2005 bringing us all health and happiness. Or, you know, less innuendo and more actual raunch. I'm not picky.
I think maybe someday I'll have an actual date that involves leaving the house, on the weekend, but maybe not until after I'm dead. Don't ask me how that would work, logistically, because I have no idea. It made sense when I wrote it. Honest. Anyway, after my snarky moment that produced the last post, I decided to share with everyone the Softer Side of Mir and give you a view into what has become my traditional Friday night. Uncut and uncensored! Wooooo!! Cover your children's eyes cuz this is gonna be wiiiiiild! Or not. But it will be less bitchy than some of my previous stuff. My wild...
Things I can do on a Friday night when my kids aren't here: Consume my body weight in pepperoni pizza. Take off my pants and throw them in the washer (when I drip sauce on them). Walk around pantsless for the rest of the evening. Turn my music up loud enough to make the china rattle a little. Watch anything I want to on TV. Shout at the Olympic commentators to STFU already and show something interesting. Ignore the laundry. Crank up the air conditioning. Admire how clean the kids' rooms are. Eat sweet potato pie. Straight from the pie plate. In bed. Stay up as late as I like and know that no...
... after comfortably settling yourself into bed with your laptop, and turning on the TV in preparation for "Whose Line Is It, Anyway?", you see a commercial for "Sex and the City" now on TBS and remember oh yeah! and then suffer major angst over which program to watch because that's quite a choice to have to make, and then you decide to go with "Sex and the City" but OH NO for the love of God you cannot remember which channel is TBS and damn your cheap self for not getting a cable box (with online guide) for this television, and for a moment it appears that all is lost, but then the day is...
Sadness. Deep, dark, depressive sadness. I live a life of sacrifice, frugality, and chastity. Really all that is left to me is television and maybe ice cream. Do these people not understand that they are toying with my emotions by screwing up my television?? Prior to this morning, I owned a perfectly serviceable, if somewhat old, television. Recently the sound on this unit had started to go kind of wonky (yes, that's the technical term). You'd be sitting there, watching TV, not a care in the world, and then you'd hear the voice of Charlie Brown's teacher coming through the speaker. Your...
