And speaking of scent…

By Mir
January 22, 2005

Could someone please explain to me what it is about a woman being happy and not at all looking that suddenly makes her irresistible to men? Is the adage about always wanting what you can’t have really true?

Once upon a time, I was sorta kinda fixed up with this guy at a time when I would’ve gladly gone out with any guy who asked me nicely. Only, he never asked me out. He sent me emails and beeped me on IM and then proceeded to wander off in the middle of our chats more than once. I tried to keep an open mind, but after a few weeks, I changed my settings so that he couldn’t see me on IM, and forgot about him.

Last night (after I’d gone to sleep) (why, yes, I did have sweet dreams, thank you) this guy wrote me a very earnest email about how he hasn’t seen me around and he wonders what I’m up to and please drop him a line and blah blah freaking blah.

All of which leads me to two inescapable conclusions:

1) Men really can SMELL when a woman has no need of them whatsoever.
2) His beloved TiVo broke.


  1. Mary

    I’d say it’s a combination of both. I have also noticed the tendency of every man I ever dated in my whole entire life to show up the moment I’ve had a second date with someone else. It tempts me to go on second dates all the time, even if the first date was horrid. I like the extra attention; I’ll take it any way I can get it.

  2. Suzanne

    I’m inclined to say…uh…yes.
    They can’t stand it when you ignore them, and his Tivo is probably inoperative. Most likely he didn’t pay the bill and it’s been shut off.

  3. rudolf

    I think in general there is something to the wanting of the un-haveable. That’s why adultery is such a popular sport :-)

    I do think that the self-confidence you feel when you’re in a relationship can enhance your attractiveness. Conversely, the desperation some people display (particularly men) can be rather unattractive :-)

  4. RockStar Mommy

    If his TiVo broke, I totally feel for him.

    But, you’re right. Men love the whole chasing thing. Then again, so do a lot of women. It’s just a certain personality.

    I never used to get asked out. Then I got married and the offers started flooding in. But, then I got pregnant and starting toting around a baby and the offers stopped again ;)

  5. Leanne

    Rudolf is right!

    I’m happily married (most days), and it seems those are the days that the cutest guys are out surfing yahoo profiles. Then I get the IM that I am forced to ignore purely out of guilt (why is it that guilt sets in before any action has occurred?). I’ve even modified my Yahoo profile to include a warning that I’m very much taken and anything inappropriate will be ignored.

    Do they like being ignored? Can they even read? I wonder if we’ll ever really know.


  6. Liz

    my theory is that when men feel down on themselves, that’s when they seek out others to perk up their fragile egos. Also, the wandering away in the middle of conversations, etc. sounds all too familiar… of a man who is taken! Ya never know. Most of the fun comes from not knowing, but if you really want to know, call him on it.

  7. T. Marie

    My daughter and I say that men are drawn to the ‘taken’ frangrance when you’re involved in another relationship. Perhaps there is also a ‘not looking’ fragrance that does the same thing.

  8. alektra

    I have not had more than two offers in the last three years since I’ve dated The Boy, and I didn’t date anyone two years before that…

    I think if you’re beautiful and talented (like yourself), guys start to realize it at inconvenient times. Or “too late”, as in this case. :)

  9. Michael

    Men…we suck! :-)

    Of course, this guy could be confused….we can get easily confused.

  10. Shiz

    Men are weird. I don’t understand them. What is with the MEN?

  11. Betsy

    Oh, how right you are.

    Went out on a long-anticipated date last night. Decided that I really didn’t want to go out with him any more.

    Sure enough – who calls and leaves a message, a mere 24 hours later?

    Although, to be fair, since I’d introduced him to my TiVo (to huge honkin’ excitement on his part – he’d not seen one before) – he might have just wanted me to go shopping with him to help him buy and configure his own…

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