Exchanges
The following is a compilation of conversations and written communication I either have had today or will have tomorrow. Some are completely accurate. Some may change a bit once I think about it some more, but it really depends on how much sleep I get tonight.
First sidebar: The Big Kiwi Project is shaping up nicely. Chickadee and her dad were busy this weekend, and I now have a large hairy mama kiwi and three offspring and an egg living here in the house. Sadly, one of the three chicks was immediately confiscated by Monkey, and now lives in a plastic bin where it is being babysat by one of Monkey’s umpteen stuffed puppies.
Second sidebar: Hey, the top of my hair is actually brown again. It almost sort of looks like I had black hair and had highlights done… by a drunken rodeo clown. Shut up.
Onward.
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Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
That news that wasn’t mine to share? The cat’s out of the bag.
There are all kinds of people in this world. Some walk by us as we journey. Some place obstacles in our path. Some walk with us for a bit. And a very special few make us remember why we’re travelling in the first place.
Go give a virtual hug to my darling Kira, if you can pull her down from that cloud for a minute. This sort of happiness is rare, and hard-won. I dare you to read her entry and not melt a little.
Must be brief; Housewives is on
Many important things happened this weekend, but I’ve got to watch TV right now or, um, I would be less pathetic. And we don’t want THAT to happen.
Although, I did go out on Saturday night amongst grown-ups to a comedy show. That was almost like being a social person. And the last comedian actually improvised (hilariously) for over twenty minutes on some random audience member’s wallet. And I was very pleased we weren’t sitting right in front.
I believe someone previously recommended to me “those thingies that dissolve in the shower and create vapor” when I had a cold. They just ran a commercial for them–Sudacare Shower Soothers. They look like urinal cakes; which, I suppose, may indeed scare the snot right out of you. However, I think I’ll pass.
Anyway! On to the big news!
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Answers to your burning questions
1) The duvet set is this one. It’s so… girly. Very unlike me, really. It’s the sort of thing I would never foist upon any self-respecting male. Fortunately no self-respecting male will ever be found in my bedroom!
2) I haven’t made anything with the apples yet, but the votes were overwhelmingly in favor of crisp. That’s my favorite, anyway; when I work with pastry dough, I tend to swear excessively and then ruin my creation with all the tears I end up crying into the helpless, overworked crust.
3) Okay, technically no one asked this, but in case you were WONDERING (and admit it, you totally were) just how fabulous I am, Joshilyn declared the following to me this afternoon: “You are the FRESH new flavor at baskin robbins. YOU PROBABLY HAVE GUM IN YOU, and a MINTY RIBBON.”
4) I was granted permission to share that sentiment with you because it in no way contained any reference to genitalia. Although–if we’re being completely honest, here–I did edit the spelling, because Joss’ V key (probably from sheer terror of the word VAGINA) is not working, and I didn’t think it had nearly the same impact to say that I “HAE GUM” in me.
5) I washed that grey right outta my hair. Um, sort of. Actually, I feel a letter coming on….
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The old grey mare, she’s confused
I’m not really allowed to go to Target these days. Money’s tight, and let’s face it, there is no walking into Target for an item or two. I can go in there for socks and come out with lawn furniture. Swinging by to pick up juice boxes on sale? I come home with towels. It’s a problem. Those little red clearance stickers woo me with their promises of bargain nirvana.
So. I’ve been staying away.
But today, I HAD to go to Target, on account of I’m almost out of my little rectangles of sanity (otherwise known as hormone patches). And there were a few other things I needed to get. So I allowed myself to visit Mecca.
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Balanced diet
If I hadn’t done so many hours of work beforehand and then so many hours of work afterwards, I might have enough remaining brain cells to question the wisdom of taking the children apple-picking and then returning home to allow them a dinner of copious amounts of bacon drowning in artificial maple syrup and garnished with french toast.
But I did so I don’t.
Instead, all I have is this:
1) Work. Hard. Tired.
2) Mmmm… hog fat.
3) Pie or crisp?
Cute and adorable, but also dead
It is a general rule of thumb that if you are the parent of a child with “issues,” you are not necessarily filled with joy when a teacher or other school official asks for your attention. I’m not saying that this is always an occasion for bad news… but it’s not always to tell you how great your kid is, either.
Ahem.
So this morning, the bus pulled up and I hugged and kissed Chickadee good-bye. The doors swung open and I heard the familiar greetings as the world’s greatest bus driver addressed each child by name. “Hey! Chickadee! No, wait… Chickadee’s MOM! C’mere!”
“Oh,” Chickadee looked up at me guiltily, “I think I left something on the bus yesterday.”
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In which I am easily amused
The flip side of being easily irritated (what? what?? you have some sort of problem with that???) is that I am often also very easily amused.
To wit: This morning on the way to school, Monkey announced that he had a VERY FUNNY JOKE to tell me. This always fills me with great joy, which–when it comes to my kids sharing their “funny” jokes–sometimes feels an awful lot like that feeling you get right before you barf, when you know it’s going to happen and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Anyway, I gripped the steering wheel a little harder and said, “Great, go ahead, honey.”
“Okay!” Monkey took a deep breath. “What was the baby’s favorite constellation?” I thought for a moment and told him I was sure I didn’t know. “THE BIG DIAPER!!!” Both children burst into guffaws. “GET IT, Mama?” Monkey crowed, “The big DIAPER, instead of DIPPER, SEE, THAT’S SO FUNNY!” And while I hadn’t found “the big diaper” all that funny, my son’s conviction that if only he explained it better I would be overcome with hilarity DID strike me as pretty amusing. I giggled and the more he said “GET IT??” the harder I laughed.
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It’s ALIIIIIIIIIVE!!!
I’m pleased to report that with the expert assistance of a friend, my new computer is now fully operational. This morning I dove under my desk and first chiselled away at the drifts of dust bunnies, then started untangling cords and unhooking the limping dinosaur that was my former computer. First I removed the old monitor and CPU, then I just started unhooking cords randomly because there seemed to be lots of things just plugged in and laying around.
The new machine claimed to be “plug and play,” and it was, sort of. We plugged it in, and it turned on. Then there was just the little matter of spending the next two hours making it act like a useful computer and not a very large and shiny paperweight.
That was, after I stopped sobbing over the single dead pixel on my nice new LCD monitor. *sniffle*
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Pat, I’d like to buy another paragraph
Today I foisted two sleep-deprived children upon their father so that I could spend some quality time freaking right the hell out about how much time I spent coughing and sleeping and generally NOT WORKING last week.
The girlchild was literally curled up in the corner when I arrived to fetch her at 9:00 this morning. Did you have a good time? Yes. Are you okay? Yes. Are you SURE? I… I… I’M TIIIIIIIIRED! It seems that the party was a smashing success, well through to 11:00 last night, but Chickadee was, shall we say, less than amused when the birthday girl chose to wake her up via tickling at 5:00 this morning.
My daughter is many wonderful things, but a morning person is not one of them. Neither is she someone who will function well on half her regular amount of sleep. Given the way she’s snarled at me some mornings, I was just pleased to hear that she hadn’t attacked the foolish girl who woke her up.
Monkey wasn’t quite so sleepy, but he did start jumping on my bed quite early this morning. Both kids were happy to spend the day lounging at Daddy’s. I returned home after dropping them off, expecting to work some and then take a nap. Haha!
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