The flip side of being easily irritated (what? what?? you have some sort of problem with that???) is that I am often also very easily amused.
To wit: This morning on the way to school, Monkey announced that he had a VERY FUNNY JOKE to tell me. This always fills me with great joy, which–when it comes to my kids sharing their “funny” jokes–sometimes feels an awful lot like that feeling you get right before you barf, when you know it’s going to happen and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Anyway, I gripped the steering wheel a little harder and said, “Great, go ahead, honey.”
“Okay!” Monkey took a deep breath. “What was the baby’s favorite constellation?” I thought for a moment and told him I was sure I didn’t know. “THE BIG DIAPER!!!” Both children burst into guffaws. “GET IT, Mama?” Monkey crowed, “The big DIAPER, instead of DIPPER, SEE, THAT’S SO FUNNY!” And while I hadn’t found “the big diaper” all that funny, my son’s conviction that if only he explained it better I would be overcome with hilarity DID strike me as pretty amusing. I giggled and the more he said “GET IT??” the harder I laughed.
I offer this as an explanation, of sorts. (Also because it is my God-given right to believe my children to be the most adorable creatures on the planet. Sue me.)
On the one hand, it’s a predictable blogging convention to poke fun at your search strings periodically. On the other hand, I really never get tired of it. People come here looking for weird things. Or maybe I’m just easily entertained.
diet coke red socks commercial
“I like the way you move” coke commercial
red socks diet coke
It’s been a week since this post and I have been FLOODED with these three search strings. Apparently Red Socks Man has captivated many women. But he’s MINE, ladies. BACK. OFF.
how are boxer briefs suppose to fit
Well, I always found them most comfortable on the floor next to my bed…. I mean, um, well, let’s see. If you can’t breathe? Too tight.
I WANT TO RAISE MY BLOOD PRESSURE
Screaming like that is probably a great start. Good luck!
Not right now, thanks.
my cat has green snot coming out of his nose
Thanks for sharing. That wouldn’t have been nearly so interesting without the color clarification. Or the orifice clarification. I need to stop thinking about this now.
what is crisco
Well you see, Susie, when a man and a woman love each other very much… ummmm… whoops, wrong question. Nevermind. Also? Welcome to civilization.
prednisone cracked tooth
Generally speaking, I think you can avoid that if you swallow the prednisone rather than chewing it. Or slamming it into your teeth with a hammer.
mice feces sanitize how
Because you’d like to have some sanitized mice droppings…?
my cock ring all day wear
Was that a question? A brag? Or just a general lack of coherence from, you know, wearing it all day?
I recommend regular feeding and watering, plenty of sunlight and exercise, and occasional beatings.
baking soda douches
I’m not even going to admit how many hits I get for this. Needless to say, I’m very proud.
I love pointy toes
I recommend you date an elf. Or a pair of my shoes… and then it would really be true that my shoes were getting more action than me.
all my life ive been searching for something
Me too! Let me know if you find it, wouldja? Thanks.
OMG, I haven’t laughed so hard since… well, I can’t remember when. This post is SO funny. :)
The one search string that I always see with my blog is: Codename: Kids Next Door porn. Don’t ask me why?
You get much more interesting search strings than I do. I bet the crisco seeking person was someone in Sweden trying to do an American recipe. Can you believe they don’t have crisco (or any other vegtable shortening) over there? I suppose there are other countries that lack crisco as well. It is VERY hard to make a pie crust without vegtable shortening. Butter just isn’t the same.
HA! I wonder if the cock ring and the crisco questions came from the same guy? Heh.
Y’know, I STILL haven’t seen that red socks diet coke commercial! Maybe I should do a search to see if it’s online somewhere. But it sounds like a search would just lead me, well…HERE! :-)
Prednisone cracked tooth???? Sounds like a rock band I used to be in, back in the day.
Your strings are better than mine.
All I’ve got is a bag of rocks…
But dammit, how in the heck do you know what searches are resulting in your blog?! I’ve asked this question about 262,448 times in 197,423 different venues and I’ve yet to be “clued in!!” Is this a conspiracy??! $%@*!! Can you tell from my use of punctuation that I’m incredulous?!
Ok, Prozac. Taking. Effect. Ahhhhh… sweet oblivion, open up your arms…
Now, who do I have to blow to become privy to this info? I’ve never done it before, but it can’t be that hard right?
Well, ok, I suppose if you’re doing it right it actualy WOULD be hard, wouldn’t it. Semantics. So sue me.
To Kelly: Most stat counter/site meter sites will give you track back info that tells you how people found your blog or website. If the “how” is a search engine, it’ll tell you which one and what the word or words were that caused your site to show up in their results. I’ve gotten a lot of hits off “purist hatbox toilet”. :-)
That might have been me. I’m trying to round out the ol’ hatbox collection, and well, it ain’t easy once you’ve got most of them. If you’re a purist.
Okay, I laughed and laughed at “Big Diaper.”
Is Mr Wonderful single? :)