Stuff! Also, things!
People. GEEZ. Get your minds out of the gutter, please. (Amy-Go, I AM LOOKING AT YOU.) I appreciate all of your fine suggestions and even the chuckles I gleaned from all the innuendo, but seriously. Y’all need to get out a bit more often. And if someone like ME is saying that to YOU, well, that’s way beyond irony all the way over to ridiculous. Just sayin’.
(More on that stuff in a bit. You were naughty and now you have to wait, while you think about what you did.)
But first! Other things!
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Blogging for Books is live, barely
You know, this whole Blogging for Books thing has been a LOVELY little contest that sometimes brings out amazing and/or unexpected pieces of writing from the far corners of the blogosphere. That’s not even mentioning how actual! published! authors! have been stepping up with their time and their shiny, shiny books as prizes. I myself really luuuurve my copy of Mother Shock that I won, um, back in the Pleistocene when we had the first B4B contest.
ANYWAY! You must go read about this month’s Blogging for Books contest and then you must 1) tell all your friends, 2) enter, 3) tell some more people, and 4) try not to snort your beverage of choice when you get to Joshilyn’s astute observation about condoms which has nothing to do with the contest but still, is quite amusing. Last month the contest wasn’t all it could be and I know there are plenty of us who would be sad to see it die. So. GO! Read! Enter!
Also, I’m aware that this isn’t much of an entry. It is late and I am tired and Chickadee was home from school today. For the first half of the day she obligingly lay on the sofa, warm with fever and sipping juice and watching cartoons. For the second half of the day she looked for new and interesting ways to bug the everloving CRAP out of me, and might I just say, that girl is a PRODIGY. So. I am trying to finish up WORK work and do not have time to tell you about my laundry and whatnot, other than to point out that I think I washed everything I OWN today. That will have to tide you over (TIDE! get it? GET IT??) for now.
Oh! But! Extra special bonus below the fold….
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Full spectrum
Exchanges I have participated in today, filtered through the lens of complete anonymity to protect those involved: [Not that anyone needs any protection, per se, but after all it adds to the fun because there’s a limitless number of possibilities for you, the reader, as you imagine where each exchange may have taken place. It’s like those Choose Your Own Adventure books! But with a blog!]
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It was 60 degrees out today
The weather alone was enough to make today a remarkable sort of day. Winter needs to end, now. It’s TRYING. And even though I know that we will most likely have at least one more big snow before it ends for real, a day like today gives me hope.
It also gives me little muddy footprints all over my nice clean floor. Oh well.
But before that, it gives me children who rise at the butt-crack of dawn because strange and unusual things are happening, such as:
A) Sunlight! In the morning! Like, early!
B) Birds singing!
C) Tingling kiddie-sense that maybe Mama is dying to sleep in!
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Don’t ask if you don’t want the answer
Monkey: *loud, prolonged snuffling and snorting*
Me: Ack, STOP THAT! Do you need a tissue?
Monkey: Not anymore!
Not exactly Anne of Green Gables (updated!)
My Chickadee is something of a perfectionist. I, of course, have NO IDEA where THAT comes from. Ahem. She walked late, which may have been partially due to her poor vision, but I think was more symptomatic of what would turn into her typical pattern: She doesn’t like to do things until she can do them flawlessly. She had a very short period of time as a wobbly, lurching Frankenbaby. She waited and waited until I was convinced that she had cerebral palsy and I’d just never noticed, somehow, and then she got up and just… walked.
Same thing with reading. She was clearly smart, and capable, and yet, she resisted until she could sit down and devour chapter books. And that’s just what she did. The child is usually reading no less than four books at a time, and she leaves them strewn throughout the house and piled around her backpack like a trail of breadcrumbs.
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Two stars
Sometimes, I get a wild hair and decide to make a nice dinner. Sometimes, I am not very bright.
(Also? Wild hair? Just one? I mean, I have a dozen or so wild hairs on a GOOD hair day. That expression was clearly coined by a man. Perhaps a bald one.)
The children are having a Rough Week. The transition back to routine and school after vacation is always a painful one. They are slumping into the house at the end of the day as if they’ve been away at boot camp, crawling on all fours under barbed wire before scaling a 40-foot wall, and collapsing on the couch. Then they either watch television or whine to watch television (if I decline) or touching each other or threatening to touch each other and generally just being the Pitiful-McBickersons.
So I thought I’d try to have a nice family meal. HAHAHAHA!
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None of this is related
I’ve just noticed tonight that my hair is at that lovely stage where I’ve got two botched colors growing out, as well as enough new growth to leave me plenty of grey-spiked natural brown. It’s the Amazing Technicolor Dreamhead! But I’m sure many of you will be pleased to learn that I’ve decided to be a big girl and stop screwing up my hair. For a little while. I’m growing it all out, and then I’m going to sell my body on the street corner just prior to BlogHer and let my stylist do my color.
That way, when I’m sitting up there with Alice and Tracey during our panel with a blank look on my face and drool trickling out of the corner of my mouth, people will point and whisper, “My GOD but her hair is FANTASTIC!”
I think it’s good to have goals, that way.
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In other news, my children are still weird
I know we’re all really enjoying how it’s All Oozing Mammary, All The Time ’round here, but for a change I’d like to focus on something other than my Very Famous Misbehaving Boob. I KNOW! It’s craziness, what I’m suggesting. But sometimes I need to talk about other things.
Like yeast infections!
But lucky for you, I am the picture of health right now, other than the boob thing. [And tomorrow I’m going in to see the surgeon and be checked, so we can return to our favorite topic if that yields anything interesting. In the meantime feel free to google atypical ductal hyperplasia, which is what my biopsy revealed. I am the proud winner of yearly “tracking” mammograms, but no turtle wax, which was something of a disappointment.]
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Neither rain, nor sleet, nor bleeding boobs…
I used to think that mail carriers had it hard, what with the delivering the mail no matter what thing. That was before I started blogging, though. Now the postman can suck it up, because it’s far worse being a blogger. I skip one day and my mother calls to make sure I’m not dead. Sheesh.
Sometimes I skip a day. I’ve noticed that it doesn’t seem to alter the rotation of the earth any, so I thought it was alright.
But hey, it’s nice to feel loved.
Now, let me tell you what a moron I am. (That’s why you came, right?)
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