So this is a THIRD post about food in a row, which means the planet has officially been jolted off its axis. Or that these things come in threes and I'll stop after this. Probably. This weekend was stressful for a variety of reasons, and about halfway through yesterday as I was ranting to Otto that I AM ON ANTIDEPRESSANTS I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO FEEL LIKE THE MOTHERFUCKING SKY IS FALLING WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? he gently asked me if maybe, possibly, I had missed a dose? And I had. So it's possible the sky doesn't require expletives and maybe is just drooping a little, not crashing to the ground,...
So far as Monkey is concerned, there are exactly two good reasons to go camping: 1) getting to play his Nintendo DS (which his mean, mean mother only lets him use on trips, lest his eyes glaze over and he and his console become one melded hybrid beeping creature), and 2) s'mores. While I don't understand the first item, I can see the s'mores love. What's not to like about s'mores? I myself have been known to set several marshmallows on fire at a time, all while lovingly explaining to my vegetarian, marshmallow-loving daughter exactly how they get gelatin. (She makes an exception for...
Every now and then, Otto does a Big Thing designed to make me feel warm and fuzzy---my birthday surprise and the festivities that followed come to mind---and it's very sweet and wonderful and everything, of course. But the truth is that I may even love him just a little bit more for the small things, because I'm a sucker for the I-was-just-thinking-about-you gesture. So a week ago, I wrote this post, which contained the following: The list says “Thou shalt not list the things you, the parent, do for the kid as if it deserves veneration.†Because the only appropriate response from the...
When you think about it, Otto's got a pretty tough row to hoe when it comes to our family. Despite my efforts, sometimes I'm sure it just can't help but feel like three against one. The kids and I were a unit for a long time before Otto joined us, and no matter how much they all love each other ("Awww, honey, if she's being an insufferable brat to you that means she's BONDED!"), the fact remains that sometimes I'm sure he still feels a little bit picked on. Of course, this might just be because the kids and I are jerks, and not have anything to do with our blended family status. It's hard to...
Longtime readers know that I'm not squeamish about much, but the bugs down here in the south---unfettered by a nice long winter freeze like the bugs where I grew up---do not screw around. They are free to grow to insane sizes and spend the entire calendar year plotting to suck out your brains through your ear. Or possibly your nose. I don't know. I try not to think about it. If you're a newish reader, and stories about bugs aren't going to make you scream (don't worry, I scream enough for both of us!), you can review a few of my various delightful insect encounters in the archives. Why,...
Today is a Special Day That We Are Not Allowed to Talk About here. But I wanted to share some things I love about my wife. She convinced me to try coffee again. She (occasionally) laughs at my bad jokes. She is the bargain queen, letting us live well above our means. She is a tireless advocate for our kids, even when it is physically and mentally exhausting. She is teaching me to be more patient as I struggle with the, uh, idiosyncrasies of having a female teenager in our home. Three words: Beer Cheese Bread. While she's asked me not to sing in the car anymore, that only applies when she's...
Longtime readers know that one of the joys of summer, for me, is my little backyard garden. What started years ago with a few containers on the deck has steadily expanded into a series of boxes where I spend half my July wrestling with vines that need to go UP THE TRELLIS, dammit, UP. Some plants I grow from seeds. Zucchini, for example, is perfectly happy when you stick a seed in the soil and then completely ignore it for the next two months. Provided you do anything less traumatic than run it over with a car, zucchini will happily flourish until you have zucchini muffins coming out of your...
I thought there was nothing I like better than when a reader so totally gets my family, they feel the need to call my attention to something that would make us happy. Alert reader Jamie did just that: She emailed me earlier this week with this link to say she was thinking about me. In case you don't feel like clicking, that leads to this little DIY gem: Awesome, right? I immediately thanked Jamie, printed out the necessary images, and delivered it to Otto with a flourish. "I have a project for you!" I declared. Otto chuckled and set to work. Just a little bit later he presented me with his...
Yesterday I read Liz's post about her step-grandfather and it got me thinking about MY step-grandfather. So today you get to read about him over at Off Our Chests, if you're so inclined. He was a character. Unrelated, here's an actual, unretouched conversation that happened here yesterday: Me: Honey, I love you SO MUCH. Otto: I... love you, too...? Chickadee: She wants something. Me: No! I just LOVE YOU! Otto: I know what she wants. Me: You do? Otto: You want me to stop at the store and pick up sweet potatoes. Me: See? THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU! You're the GREATEST! (I always said a big part of...
