retribution -noun 1. a justly deserved penalty 2. the act of taking revenge 3. sudden recurrence of somnambulance the night after your wife writes a somewhat cranky post about you true love -noun 1. a sweetheart; a truly loving or loved person 2. bond uniting soul mates 3. not kicking your husband in the nads when he wakes you out of a sound sleep TWICE on the same night: first to insist that there's something in the room with you, then later to noisily inspect the far wall because "I know it sounds crazy, but there's a giant hole in it and there's something in there!" (Today's lesson...
The fact that I am constantly hungry is my excuse du jour for why I am cranky. I have no OTHER reason to be cranky, really---the children are taking turns being rotten, as I've always taught them to do; work is somewhat under control; no one in the house is sick or having a crisis---so it's only this stupid "getting in shape" and "always being hungry" thing to blame for how grouchy I am. Make no mistake, I am incredibly grouchy. If someone were to stuff some Godiva chocolate into my whining yap I'm pretty sure it would improve my mood immediately and significantly, but alas, that cannot...
A huge portion of yesterday was spent celebrating Monkey's birthday, as was right and good, but of course there were a few other things that had to be tended to as well. Like, I still had to do some actual work. (I guess none of my clients got that National Monkey Holiday memo I sent out. HMPH.) And Otto had to do some actual work. (I guess none of his students got that Write Your Own Syllabus memo he sent out. DOUBLE HMPH.) And the children needed to finish unpacking and get ready for their return to school, except they agreed to do that and then spent most of the day playing with Monkey's...
For the first time in my life, I have made a sizable, life-changing resolution for the new year. This will be the year I take my health more seriously. Otherwise known as: The year I learn to love or at least tolerate exercise, or die in the attempt. Otherwise known as: The year I refuse to get my ass kicked in a friendly little competition just because I have all the willpower of a jar of mayonnaise. Mmmmm... mayonnaise.... Wait. Where was I? Oh! Right. The competition starts tomorrow. So today, Otto and I went out to lunch for my favorite food on the planet and I ate myself silly. And then...
Although I wish it for you every Thursday, this one in particular I hope finds you with peace and love in your heart, and kindness and laughter in your home. I'm off to spend Christmas with the people I love most in the entire world. There's soup to make and baking to be done and stockings to stuff and---of course---A Christmas Story to watch. Because nothing says "Love of Christ" like "You'll shoot your eye out, kid." Nonetheless: It is, indeed, a most wonderful life. Happy Love Thursday, everyone... and here's to making merry, no matter the season.
I'm over at Five Full Plates today, hurling my longsuffering husband right under the bus. (I'm thinking I'm really going to need to come through at Christmas this year. I mean, that or just hide for a few days....)
I have this thing I say about marriage, and I'm sure there are some perfectly nice readers out there I am about to deeply offend with this, but I'm going to share it anyway so that you can kind of understand where I'm coming from. Here it is: I believe anyone can make a mistake---particularly if they got married very young, as I did---and I think nearly anyone can find themselves divorced once. But if you've gone through TWO divorces, I think it may be time to stop and admit that you are just not very good at being married. I share this to make it clear that despite the fact that I happen to...
Tomorrow Otto is having a birthday. His 39th birthday, in fact. My birthday is in the summer, so I happen to love that stretch of time between early December and mid-August when I can pretend he's an entire year older than I am. We don't have any big plans; life has been a little too hectic lately to plan much, but we'll see what we can do to celebrate the day in style. In the meantime, as a little pre-birthday warm-up, I thought I'd share 39 Things I Love About Otto in honor of his impending 39th birthday. 1) He puts up with me. (Truly, this should be number 1 through 50,000.) 2) He lets me...
I've made no secret of the fact that I am trying with all of my might to continue to believe in the public school system in this country---and, more importantly, in my current county---but that recent circumstances are making that harder and harder. I have become That Mother, the one with all of the EMAILING and PHONE CALLING and, um, gray hair. So on the one hand, we've got Monkey's Situation, the Cliff Notes summary of which is: Gosh, I hope you don't have a special needs child who gets good grades, because the school is not at all interested in doing jack for you if so. (Me, to Monkey:...
