Offspring: ecstasy and agony Articles

Nerd Night: Buttered Popcorn Chocolate Chunk Cookies

I'm not gonna lie; I'm a little verklempt today. (Spellcheck insists that verklempt is not a word. Spellcheck is now dead to me.) In just a few short weeks, my blog turns 12, which isn't all that remarkable, I suppose. But it means that when I started here, Chickadee was just 6. And today, Chickadee is 18. I once gave birth to a baby and now that baby is a full-grown adult human (theoretically) and I HAVE MANY FEELINGS TODAY. I will give you just a glimpse of some of that, in a minute, but of course we all know the important thing here is THE GOODIES. (Of course.) This morning the kids had...

read more

Before you ask…

... no, the bathroom isn't done, yet. I have decided, however, that we're going to spend 100% of our family and any entertaining-guests time in that damn bathroom once it's complete, as it will then be the nicest/newest room in the house and I want to make sure our enjoyment of it outweighs these weeks and weeks of ineptitude and incompleteness. ("Welcome to our home! Please follow me to the upstairs bathroom. Now admire it. I SAID ADMIRE IT. Yes, very good, thank you. We think it's lovely, too. Can I offer you a beverage? No, don't move, I'll bring it to you here in the bathroom.") In the...

read more

Nerd Night: Banana Pudding Bars (and bonus mom-ery)

Nerd Night was on hiatus for a few weeks (Easter and other scheduling issues), and lo, there was much sadness across the land. "Why aren't you baking us delicious sugary things?" lamented my spawn. It was tragic, truly. Sometimes I get a wild hair about a certain kind of recipe, and other times a recipe just sort... suggests itself to me. Like, two weeks ago, Nilla Wafers were the Penny Item the day I went grocery shopping, so I ended up with a box of those. And then a week ago, Jello Pudding mixes were B1G1. So I figured I'd make a good ol' southern banana pudding, but of course both of my...

read more

Some things just suck

I've been whining about our unfinished bathroom for... several weeks, at least, by now. What a mess! What an inconvenience! A first world problem, to be sure, but ugh. So annoying. And I've been trying really, really hard to gain some perspective on this, because it's not that big of a deal. The good news is that today we have a mirror! Not that I haven't ABSOLUTELY LOVED Monkey coming downstairs every day with rumpled hair after his shower---soliloquizing on how maybe no one has noticed, but their bathroom STILL DOESN'T HAVE A MIRROR---to grump his way into my office bathroom and make...

read more

In lieu of Nerd Night goodies…

... all I have for you today is this. (There was no Nerd Night this weekend, alas.) Monkey began texting me about some injustice in class, but it quickly devolved into the following. And for the record, this went on for quite a while even after this. It's a good thing I'm fond of that kid. (Eventually I told him I had to go. He responded, "Sea you later! I'll reef you abalone now." Internet, HOW DO WE TEACH HIM TO USE HIS POWERS FOR GOOD?)

read more

I bet my Monday was Monday-er than yours

Yesterday was rife with complaints about the time change and how Monday is so completely awful and now it's Monday-plus-a-time-change and EVERYTHING IS THE WORST. I was busy bathroom-wrangling, or rather, trying to wrangle what's happening with the bathroom and the contractors and when oh when might we have a working bathroom up there... does anyone know? Plus there was the usual work stuff and getting the kids back to school stuff and some other stuff and I remember thinking, yesterday afternoon, that it was a pretty terrible day and I would be very glad once it was over. But then it got...

read more

Just a regular day (but extra snot)

Monkey---sweet, darling Monkey---has changed SO MUCH over the last few years that sometimes I forget about the things which haven't changed. Like, say, the fact that he now towers over me does not change the typical trajectory of: it's a minor cold, it's a minor cold, it's a minor cold, MOM I THINK MAYBE I'M DYING MOM I FEEL AWFUL. Good job, me! My streak of sending that child to school even though he's sick as a dog remains unbroken! WOOOOO! Yesterday had an added bonus of his doctor mentioning that it may be time to go back to the ENT and discuss sinus surgery... I think... I was too busy...

read more

I wrote you some things

Somehow I never linked you up to my Alpha Mom advice column last week, probably because I was busy dealing with non-writing things as if I actually have a life outside of the computer. HAHA. Anyway. That's the bad news. The good news is that today you get a twofer from me! First, I'm answering a reader question about the value of labeling autism, and I think you know which side of that argument I come down on, but it's hopefully worth a read, anyway. Second, no one asked me, but because I know how to make sure your kids don't have sex before they're ready, I'm telling you. (Disclaimer:...

read more

3 things about The Vagina Monologues

1) Although this year was my fourth time being part of my local production, everything was different this time because Chickadee was in it with me, too. We could not have picked a better way to come full circle from the first time I was in it, years ago. (And if you want to read more about her, head over to Alpha Mom. I don't know if you know this, but I am awfully fond of that kid.) 2) I'm not sure how (lies, I know how; I am largely oblivious), but my ENTIRE FAMILY conspired with Kira and kept me completely in the dark until SHE APPEARED AT MY FRONT DOOR ON SATURDAY and I started screaming...

read more

Things I Might Once Have Said

Categories

Quick Retail Therapy

Pin It on Pinterest