Today I am tired of all the ways in which my family of special snowflakes is so extra snowflakey and specialish. Today I just want to be a regular family with regular issues and all of the same stuff that everyone deals with because half-grown humans are dealing with hormone poisoning and incomplete frontal lobes. This means you get to delight in the one way in which our family is just like any other, and that means that over at Alpha Mom I'm helping you to clarify when you're allowed to exist and when your teenager needs you to just stop it, seriously, GOD MOM. Now if you'll excuse me, I...
I don't know if my life used to be more interesting than it is now, or if I just used to believe it to be more interesting. (Maybe don't tell me. Allow me my fantasy that my life was once better than it is now.) I keep thinking, "I'll write once something fascinating happens." But guess what! I suppose this is middle age, yes? When you realize that your life is just not all that exciting...? (To be fair, I actually had that epiphany over the weekend when Otto was watching Formula One and I plunked myself down on the couch next to him. The coverage cut to a new thermal imaging camera they're...
Back in the days of OH I COULD NEVER EVER HOMESCHOOL (haaaaaaaa!), my aversion to this idea was multi-pronged. Basically I was convinced that: A) I am not patient enough to be my child's main teacher. B) Curriculum planning is probably hell on earth. C) Spending all day, every day, with my child would strain our relationship. D) Working and homeschooling are incompatible, even though I work from home. E) There is not enough Excedrin in the world for this. Spoiler: I was wrong. I mean, Excedrin comes in really, really big bottles (especially at Costco!), plus there are ways to deal with all...
Some of the drama du jour 'round here has me thinking about what it means to be in the right, and how the older I get, the less important it feels to me. The kids, though, man alive. When they're right they're RIIIIIIGHT, and woe betide the person who tries to interfere with their convictions with pesky things like a differing opinion. We're working on it, and while we do, I started working on a piece for Alpha Mom, and then cracked myself up by titling it The Unbearable Rightness of Being. Get it? Get it?? It's okay if you don't agree that I'm funny, because I know that I don't always have...
My toenails; more specifically, my inability to paint them properly. I believe in painted toenails. I don't know why, because I almost never paint my fingernails and rarely wear makeup. I'm not exactly a get-dolled-up-regularly type, is my point. And yet, to me, summer = painted toenails. And given that I am far too cheap/lazy to get professional pedicures---hey, I have polish and passable eye/hand coordination---I do my own feet here at home. I am never either drunk or blind before I set out to prettify my feet, AND YET! What the heck is my problem? I manage to BOTH slop polish all over my...
[Before I get into the actual post, a great big sloppy thank-you to everyone who responded so kindly to my last couple of posts (and the corresponding post over on Alpha Mom). I am emerging from the fog and hoping I never have to switch medications ever again. Thanks for being patient with me.] Remember how last summer Monkey got glasses and there was much rejoicing? There was also some self-flagellation, because he'd been having trouble seeing for a while, and I hadn't kept up with yearly exams, but all of you assured me that these things can happen and the important thing was that it had...
Yep, I know what today is. Nope, not gonna talk about it. There are plenty of places you can go to get that, today. What I'm offering, instead, is two different distractions if you need 'em. Because YAY, shiny and less-depressing things! First: My latest post at Alpha Mom is all about teaching teens to think about money, even though mostly what my teens think about money is, "Mom should give us more of it." Second: I've been given the privilege of doing some collaboration with the National Center for Learning Disabilities, which does all sorts of awesome things (and I would say that even if...
The adjustment to the new school year has been... well... a little rocky. It's been a month, so you'd think things would be evening out about now. Of course, if you actually knew my children, you'd realize that one month is about enough time for all unaddressed issues to come to a glorious, face-melting head of WOE and GNASHING OF TEETH, and that's pretty much exactly how it went. [Related: I have never wanted a long weekend to end as badly as I did this past weekend. Instead of feasting on charred meat, we spent our extra day wondering if we could, perhaps, just move away when the kids...
Because I know everyone is terribly concerned about the state of my bladder, I'm happy to report that all is well. I am also somewhat perplexed to report that---after going to the doctor first thing last Wednesday morning for this issue---I didn't get a call from the doctor's office until the following Monday evening to confirm that yes, indeed, my urine culture had grown bacteria and I had an infection. (To my credit, I didn't respond to that with, "No, REALLY?") I mean... nice of them to let me know... three days after I finished the antibiotics. When I questioned the need for the call at...
