Remember that television I bought? The one that I bought because the sound was wonky on my old set? The one that came with a display weirdness, and--as it turned out--also had the same sound wonkiness? Remember how Excellent Purchase brought me a second set, with the very same problem? And then I couldn't get them to answer my calls or figure out what to do? Remember how I am not very smart? On a suggestion from a friend, I replaced every piece of co-axial cable hooking up the various devices sitting on my entertainment center. Third time's the charm! The third replacement fixed the...
Well, that was over in a blink. Welcome back to the realities of my life. It may not be glamorous, here, but at least it's familiar! (I may have postcards made up with that printed on them. The pictures will be things like the crumbs under my kitchen table and the bathroom sink clogged with Polly Pocket detritus.) Offered for your consideration: 1) Monkey awoke this morning with a pull-up weighing approximately five pounds, sagging down to his knees with the weight of a gallon of urine. 2) The ex emailed me as soon as he got to the office to share a too-long missive about how much traffic...
1) Taking the kids to a playground and then for ice cream because "all we'll have to do is sit there and watch them" is more strenuous than it sounds, no matter how well-meaning and sympathetic the friend with this idea may be. 2) Quickly-melting ice cream is a tragedy of catastrophic proportions to an overheated, overtired child. (Otherwise known as, No good deed goes unpunished.) 3) Do not write out a list of "things to deal with next week" right after balancing your checkbook unless you feel like having a good cry. 4) Do not assume that because you are not having hot flashes, your...
At 9:00 sharp I called my doctor's office... and found out that my doctor is in surgery all day. (I should have known this; Monday is her day in the OR--and the day I had my surgery--and yesterday was a holiday.) The chirpy woman on the phone assured me, as my voice rose in pitch and leaked desperation across the phone line, that she would give my message to "someone." Yes, someone. In the meantime, late last night I experienced the joy of my first hot flash. It was... sweaty. And this morning I have an inexplicable desire to kill kill kill but lucky for my children, this overriding feeling...
So, you know that fabulous hormone patch that I've just been raving about? The one that is causing me to lurch about my house as if I was on the deck of a ship caught in a tsunami? The one that has caused me to offer my soul to the devil, pleasepleaseplease if I just go ahead and vomit will you then stop making the house spin and move so, because there is only so much more I can take?? While laying crosswise on my bed and attempting not to regurgitate my breakfast, this morning, I decided to have a little gander at the information leaflet. "CombiPatch is meant to be used only by women who...
I'd like to believe I've weathered the storm of major surgery and all that entails fairly well. I've whined, sure, but I think I've kept it to a minimum. I have walked even when I didn't want to, I gave up the narcotics early on and braved my way through with just advil, and I haven't asked for (much) pity. Well, now's the time. Last night, while my children were with their father, my father decided that I deserved a night out at a restaurant. A nice sit-down meal, at a place I wouldn't take the kids. (That part was easy. I never take the kids out to eat.) He is one swell guy, my dad. I love...
(With my apologies to Judith Viorst. And my apologies to everyone who reads me, because I really have turned into quite the whiner of late.) Ladies, do you ever have that... not-so-fresh feeling? (Guys, take this as your cue to exit now if you are squeamish.) Alright. I thought last night was bad. Ha. Once again, I have forgotten that if I assume there is nowhere to go but up, I merely haven't spent enough time envisioning down. We got off to a slow start today. Just when I thought we were all just tired, drained, and cranky... my shower was interrupted by "Mama, can you clean my undies?"...
It's time, once again, for my regular Sunday Night Wallow. Aaaaaahhhhhh. Doesn't matter how long or action-packed my week is, I can settle right back into that familiar time-triggered neurosis as if I never left. It's familiar, and comfortable; I relax down into the invitation of a hot bath and then am stunned to find myself drowning in a chilly swamp. I'm kind of like the lab rat who can't stop ringing for kibble even though each pellet comes with an electric shock. The children have one week of school left. Kindergarten graduation--which promises to be a gala event, judging by the flurry...
A top 10 from today, if you'll indulge me.... 1) Disappearing patterns on pull-ups. The point of these little gems is to motivate your child to stay dry all night. In the commercials, a small child appearing barely old enough to walk, much less scale the potty, runs triumphantly to mommy to display that the pull-up still bears the decorative print and Mommy wow, I'm a big kid now! The kid in the commercial has been wearing that pull-up for less than 10 seconds. I can attest that putting spaceships on the Buzz Lightyear pull-ups was really stupid, because a four-year-old boy will run...
