Sunday: Public Service Announcements

By Mir
July 11, 2004

1) Taking the kids to a playground and then for ice cream because “all we’ll have to do is sit there and watch them” is more strenuous than it sounds, no matter how well-meaning and sympathetic the friend with this idea may be.

2) Quickly-melting ice cream is a tragedy of catastrophic proportions to an overheated, overtired child. (Otherwise known as, No good deed goes unpunished.)

3) Do not write out a list of “things to deal with next week” right after balancing your checkbook unless you feel like having a good cry.

4) Do not assume that because you are not having hot flashes, your hormones are in proper balance. To wit: feeling a little crazy? Crazy like a single mom to two kids, or crazy like I wonder what it actually feels like to strangle someone? There is a subtle yet important difference.

5) Bring additional child distractions to church in the summer because Junior Church is not offered. “Watch me put this toothpick up my nose!” is probably not the reaction to the sermon that the pastor was hoping for.

6) Don’t forget to call your mother. Even if you feel lousy. Just don’t.

7) I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. (Corollaries include–but are not limited to–I am a bitch, Yes I want to go to sleep now, Don’t touch my Advil, and No matter how much you love your children, sometimes you wish they would disappear.)


Things I Might Once Have Said


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