Health is overrated Articles

Conclusion: I continue to be a hazard to myself

Hey, remember that time I broke my hand on an apple and turned into a cyborg? Good times, man. That was almost a year ago, now. It was year ago next month, in fact, though I wasn't thinking about that at all this week. After the surgery I did months of physical therapy and then also kept going back to the hand surgeon for rechecks because my hand remained kind of weird and deformed for a LONG time, prompting him to keep saying, "Let's have another look in a couple of months." And then I'd go back and he poke and prod and finally my hand mostly looked like a hand again and he said, "Okay,...

read more

Totally on top of things

Because I know everyone is terribly concerned about the state of my bladder, I'm happy to report that all is well. I am also somewhat perplexed to report that---after going to the doctor first thing last Wednesday morning for this issue---I didn't get a call from the doctor's office until the following Monday evening to confirm that yes, indeed, my urine culture had grown bacteria and I had an infection. (To my credit, I didn't respond to that with, "No, REALLY?") I mean... nice of them to let me know... three days after I finished the antibiotics. When I questioned the need for the call at...

read more

Pro tips, free of charge

When I wrote about our trip to Atlanta on Monday and all of the traffic we encountered, I included the tidbit about desperately needing to pee to illustrate how very unpleasant the whole ordeal was. When I reread what I had written, I had a moment of, "Do I really need to talk about how much I had to pee?" Because: pee. (I sure am saying "pee" a lot, here.) But I left it, because what's a little pee between friends? Also, WOW was that uncomfortable in the extreme. Well HEY, GUESS WHAT! Today I learned that if you wait a really long time to pee when your bladder is full, that can give you a...

read more

Food, pain-in-the-ass foooooood

If you've been around here for any length of time, you know that food and I enjoy a close, fulfilling relationship. Other than that whole gluten thing, food has generally been good to me (maybe a little TOO good to my thighs, but it means well) and I love to eat. I eat just about everything. Food good! Food delicious! I very much like food! (I'm not sure how or why I turned into a bizarre cross between Cookie Monster and the Hulk just then. Forgive me.) Having a kid who has a complicated relationship with food has been one of those things where my internal How To Handle It computer simply...

read more

I’m awkward, and maybe a liar, but not a hipster

About two years ago, I went to a new optical place to have my eyes checked and to get new glasses. Some quick math reveals that I had already been living in Georgia for... erm... three and a half years, by then, and it was my first eye exam in this state. Prior to then, I'd just assumed my prescription was fine and not bothered with an exam. Oops. But by the time I went in, I was having trouble seeing. I knew I needed an updated prescription. So off I went, and I was introduced to the wonder that was the ocular pressure testing wand and I got fitted for daily contact lenses and it was all...

read more

Here, have some hand sanitizer

I was doing so well. Getting stuff done! Being a paragon of productivity! I should've known it couldn't last. So, uh, I don't know if I mentioned this, but my therapist---who is awesome but seems to find sport in making me freak out about all manner of health-related things---asked me earlier this week if I'd gotten my flu shot this year. I am normally RELIGIOUS about my flu shot, seriously, but my primary care doctor has been out of vaccine and it kind of slipped my mind for a while. Anyway, my therapist was sure to tell me how this is the worst year for flu in a decade, blah blah blah DOOM...

read more

And that’s why I put away all the laundry

Monkey's birthday was delightful. I didn't even mind getting up early to make cinnamon rolls for him to bring in to school to share with his buddies, because he's just so darn delighted by it, and it doesn't hurt that our intrepid Hippie School head teacher always tells me what a great baker I am. Yes, it's all totally selfless, when I do this. Pay no attention to my preening in the corner. (Hey, I take affirmations where I can get 'em, people.) I'd actually made the dough the night before, and done everything short of baking them and making the icing---the rolls were in the fridge proofing...

read more

Exercising my whine muscles

So hey, the weirdest thing happened. Remember back when we did that group fitness challenge thing three years ago and I lost weight and cleaned my house and generally became shiny and new? That was awesome. And I was skinny. And then time marched on and I stopped exercising and resumed eating everything I could cram into my mouth, and I am no longer shiny OR skinny, which really seems unfair. I mean, why shouldn't I be fit and trim even though I completely neglect to do anything that might make me so? IT'S UN-AMERICAN, THAT'S WHAT IT IS! It's also what I'm talking about over at Feel More...

read more

Are all physical therapists sadists?

We're three+ weeks out from the beginning of Zombiehandapalooza, and I can now definitively say that I am absolutely tired of this nonsense. Sure, sure, if it was a simple break, I'd still be a cast (probably poking pencils down in there to try to scratch it, because that's the sort of difficult patient I tend to be), but my understanding of this whole bionic being-screwed-back-together thing was that I would be FINE in record time. And while it's true that I can type again (hallelujah!), it's also true that 1) my left hand still has a chronic case of The Stupid and 2) it huuuuuuuuurts. That...

read more

Things I Might Once Have Said

Categories

Quick Retail Therapy

Pin It on Pinterest