Pro tips, free of charge

By Mir
August 21, 2013

When I wrote about our trip to Atlanta on Monday and all of the traffic we encountered, I included the tidbit about desperately needing to pee to illustrate how very unpleasant the whole ordeal was. When I reread what I had written, I had a moment of, “Do I really need to talk about how much I had to pee?” Because: pee. (I sure am saying “pee” a lot, here.) But I left it, because what’s a little pee between friends? Also, WOW was that uncomfortable in the extreme.

Well HEY, GUESS WHAT! Today I learned that if you wait a really long time to pee when your bladder is full, that can give you a bladder infection. NEAT, HUH? You’ll never guess how I found out! It’s no big deal, though, because if you’ve never had a bladder infection, I can assure you that it only makes you wish for death during the time when you’re awake. (Never had one? Imagine having a mild stomachache and feeling like you have to pee ALL THE TIME, but then every time you DO go it feels like someone is jabbing broken glass into your urethra. YOU ARE WELCOME.)

So after peeing in a cup for my doctor this morning and then heading to the pharmacy, it turned out my meds weren’t ready, and I was a very sad panda. BUT THEN while I was waiting, the cops came in to have a chat with a woman who apparently had a forged prescription for narcotics. Today was WAY more exciting than anticipated, is my point.

Moral of the story: Find a way to urinate as soon as you need to go, lest you find yourself sitting at the pharmacy with crotch pain in the middle of a drug bust.


  1. Megan

    Life lessons. It’s how we learn.

  2. Sharon

    Been there, done that…well, without the drug bust, which might have made the whole ordeal worthwhile. Now, at first twinge, I start pushing water, water, water. Seems to work for me. Hope you feel better soon.

    • Mir

      Thanks, Sharon. I started feeling punky around dinner last night and started drinking, drinking, drinking (yes, water!), but I guess I didn’t catch it soon enough. Sigh.

      • Jan

        Water with baking soda dissolved in it. Tastes foul (seriously, do not underestimate how gross), but works likes MAGIC. It disrupts the pH and kills the bacterias.

        • RuthWells

          Imma try this, Jan. I’m on day 2.5 of Cipro my own damn self. Must be the phases of the moon, or something. PS, Mir, there is OTC pain meds that I swear by and have on my person at ALL TIMES. Turns your pee orange, but so worth it.

          • Jean

            2nding the OTC pain meds. Drs. can give a prescription version (Pyridium) but the OTC UTI pain meds are a godsend.

          • Katie K.

            I have had luck with d’mannose powder.

        • Angela Arnett Stone

          I cant’ take antibiotics for most things and have found D-Manoose powder to be my saving grace. Anytime a UTI happens I take a scoop every two hours for a day and one a day the rest of the week and within an hour the pain is gone. Within a day everything is normal. Best stuff ever!

      • Karen R

        I second the D-Mannose powder (the active ingredient in cranberry juice). It tastes pleasant, and is usually effective against UTIs. (no reply button under the commenter recommending this, so I’m doing it here.)

    • Mama Bear

      Water, water, and cranberry pills. (no taste… because cranberry juice… bleck, and enough cranberry juice to make a difference… bleck bleck!

  3. bonuela

    if you’re really lucky, they gave you the meds that turn your pee orange. that is superfun!

  4. Betsy

    I once offered a pharmacist a million dollars (well, had I actually HAD a million dollars) for one sulfa pill. Yeah I know that pain too well.

  5. Ani

    Oh feeling your pain sister, just finished my round of antibiotics and the afore-mentioned kool-aid pee pill last night.

    Not to mention a whole bottle of pure cranberry juice which manages to STAIN THE GLASS it comes in (yikes).

    I raise a big glass of water to you. Feel better soon!

  6. Amy

    Just in case you were wondering how to improve upon that experience, try developing an allergy to sulfa antibiotics. i.e. the antibiotic most commonly prescribed for the UTI. Because nothing says “fun” like a bladder infection and hives. (I am sad I’ve never been at a pharmacy during a drug bust, though. That sounds like it could almost take your mind off the ick.)

    • Karen

      Yes! I am also lucky enough to have had that super fun combination! I especially enjoyed the part where the doctor was literally concerned that my hives would result in the skin on my ears peeling off – super charming.

      Ugh, antibiotics. I go crazy with water, cranberry juice and yogurt at the very slightest sign now.

    • Ani

      Me too!!!! Ugh that was the worst three days of my life.

  7. Brenda

    Lesson learned, especially since I’m sure my Rx story wouldn’t be nearly as interesting as yours. I’ve only had a bladder infection once, as a kid. I remember having trouble falling asleep because I felt like I had to pee constantly, and then once I had been on the antibiotics for a bit, I was amazed to rediscover what it felt like to be able to hold it for more than .2 seconds.

  8. Otto

    Pictures? Or it didn’t happen …

    (Of the drug bust.)


  9. Kate in MI

    I discovered waaay too late that cranberry juice COCKTAIL has lots and LOTS of sugar in it. Know what sugar does? Makes the UTI worse! Yay stupid discovery!

    Note to the world: NO sugar with a bladder infection.

  10. Kristin

    You can also get a bladder infection if you haven’t had sex in a long time and suddenly do. They told me I should have peed RIGHT AFTER to get HIS germs OUT OF ME. Yeah, people who’ve never peed razor blades don’t know, man.

    • 12tequilas

      Akchully you should always pee after sex for prevention of UTI. My husband even reminds me :)

      • Betsy

        Yep, always, always, ALWAYS pee after sex. Doesn’t matter if you haven’t had sex in a long while or if you do it 3 times a day. PEE!! (Take it from someone who learns the hard way.)

  11. Brooke

    Otto has a valid point.

    FYI – when taking sneaky pictures be sure ringer volume is off so no one knows you just took a picture! ;)

  12. Andrea

    Best Moral Ever. (crotch pain. ha!)

  13. Lucinda

    I feel robbed. I’ve been to the pharmacy way more times than average for my age and I’ve NEVER gotten to see a drug bust. Bummer. Hope you feel better soon.

  14. Chuck

    Ouch. Hope you feel better soon!

  15. My Kids Mom

    No one has mentioned cranberry pills. Any drug store or health food store will have them. Be sure you get ones with no added sugar however. At first symptoms, they can detour an infection but are better taken preventatively. I have a standing prescription for antibiotics from a urologist (a female, who gets it) for when cran pills won’t do it. (allergic to sulfa drugs too)

  16. Leah

    This is one of the many reasons I read your blog. You are hilarious. I hope you feel better soon!

  17. Jenny

    Oh, man! I hope you feel better quick!

  18. Sherry

    I had a bad enough infection once that I started having bladder spasms. Now that is a pain you don’t forget. I have a stash of cranberry tablets that I take just in case.

  19. js

    What is there, like, a UTI epidemic going around?! I have one, too! (Boating, on a lake, and I won’t pee in the water. Just in case you were wondering). I think if we can talk about your bladder infection, you can say pee. You’re among friends here!

  20. Erika

    Oof. Sorry about the pain but if it helps at all: funniest thing I’ve ever read about a bladder infection.

  21. suburbancorrespondent

    It happened to me once when I was pregnant. I think if I had had a gun, I would have used it. Awful.

  22. jessica fantastica

    I usually catch up with you about once a week. Between the composting squash entry and this one, I now see an ad for a composting toilet on your page and it is CRACKING ME UP!

  23. Jen-Again

    Uristat is one of the over the counter, available at Safeway/Ralphs/CVS/Rite-Aid, meds that turns your pee Orange. Soooo worth it. I have some in the house at all times as I am prone to UTI’s from a urinary tract abnormality. Even with the UT abnormality I STILL have to go pee in the cup to get my prescription meds. 7-8 times a year. Super fun.

  24. Katie in CA

    My hubby and I were at the ER the other night (nothing serious serious, but the urgent care was full and there were no other options). And as we were waiting to get his discharge papers, the cops brought in someone who was a bit hyped up. When one of the cops asked what he had taken, the dude said “a little bit of meth” with a hand gesture to make sure they knew how little. Highly amusing. We were laughing quietly so hard, the cops started chuckling.

  25. dad

    Your life is far too exciting.

  26. Christine

    Just snorted lemon water. Thankfully not quite as painful as a UTI, but definitely worth it. Thanks for the laugh, and the experience!

  27. Heather

    Always listen to the bladder. The bladder is wise ;)

  28. kimmie

    Gah! I’m going to go drink about a gallon of water. Just the mention of “bladder infection” gives me one.

  29. ememby

    Thank you, as always, for the laughter brought on by your moral… life lessons, they are priceless.

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