I can't believe I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU about this. Heck, I almost forgot to tell Otto. It's called REPRESSION, people. It's a wonderful coping mechanism. I use it all the time. Like... ex-husband? What? I don't recall. (See how that works? It's awesome.) Anyway, some of you noticed that I told you all about my excellent adventure in the MRI machine a few weeks back but then didn't post a follow-up. This is not because I don't love you (because I do! I love you! each of you! and especially you, there, in the back!), but because I didn't have any information to share. Yes. You read that...
So, I don't know if I mentioned this before or not, but once upon a time I had this thing? With my boobs? And if I use a lot of question marks it will be incredibly annoying but seem less important? But the Cliff Notes version is that I had a lump removed from my left breast (not cancer), and while they were figuring all of that out, they discovered something else in my right breast (also not cancer) which they decided they wanted to track. My boobs, let me show you them. They are FASCINATING. (And by "show you them" I of course mean "talk about them ad nauseum.") Well, I went and saw a new...
I am having a VERY EXCITING WEEK! Why, just yesterday I went and had my hair cut for the first time in three months. I contemplated writing an entry about the whole dilemma---having painstakingly grown out my short layers only to discover that once the hair reaches my neck I start feeling like a muppet is roosting atop my head, wanting to go short(er) again but not TOO short, going to the stylist and saying "have at it" and not being entirely sure what exactly she did because then she dried it straight and WHO KNOWS what it will look like when I wear it curly again---but then I realized that...
Dude, yesterday was like Christmas. New computer! New iPod! New scanner/printer/copier thing that may or may not also julienne vegetables! My wee little mind, it is blown. Anyway, I have to remain Very! Excited! about all of this, to help lessen the reaction I will have when the bill arrives. I mean, yes, business deductions and all of that (the printer and iPod were free, even), but you know, it PAINS ME to spend money. Especially since it's not as though I can recoup the money from my other stupid computers. Otto did suggest that we get a boat... seeing as how we'd be all set for...
You know how people say that "truth is stranger than fiction?" The thing about fiction is that you WANT it to seem like truth, so it can't be TOO outlandish or people would say "No way, that would never happen." Even though the things that happen in real life are FAR stranger and worse and weirder, because those are the things no one would believe if they weren't true. My life, for example. It would be terrible fiction. Who would believe it? Okay, maybe not my WHOLE life. But today, for sure. Today started out great and then just kept sliding downhill at a gallop and now it's all I can do to...
Slowly, ever so slowly, we are unpacking and taking care of the things that need to be taken care of. I finally changed my cell phone to a local number, only to discover that the previous owner of my number apparently had a lot of unpaid bills. (At least all of those bill collecting calls for someone on my cell phone are things that are being charged against my minutes, rather than all the wrong numbers we get on the home phone for free.) I'm still busy hassling the local school district over the kids' school placement (that's another post or five for another time), and it occurred to me...
Pro: I'm not hungry, so I don't have to cook/eat! Con: The children still expect to be fed. Pro: Less laundry, because I've been wearing the same clothes for three days. Con: I probably don't smell very good. Pro: I'm able to sit up for ten or fifteen minutes at a time. Con: That's just enough time to obsess about all the work I'm not getting done. Pro: The spam I got about "doing it camel style" made me laugh and laugh. Con: Is there really such a thing as camel style? How does that... oh, nevermind. Time to go back to bed.
I have the flu. Know how I know? Because a nice doctor took a giant Q-tip and put it up my nose and swabbed my brain and said "Congratulations, you have the flu!" As I was hooked up to an IV and trying not to puke at the time I was perhaps not as excited as she would've liked. I don't know. I am too sick to be online but my laptop is here in my bed and even with a temperature of 104 it eventually gets boring to do nothing but sleep. But now that I've been sitting up for five minutes I have to go take a nap. Back in a few days.
Guess what I brought home from New York City! Go on, GUESS! If you guess a BIG ASS VIRUS CURRENTLY CHEWING UP MY LUNG TISSUE, you win a prize. Unfortunately for you, the prize is me coughing all over you. Sorry 'bout that. When will I learn not to lick people on the subway? Honestly, you can't take me ANYWHERE.
