Apparently the wedding took a little longer to recover from than I'd planned. Ooops! So, uh, hi! Still alive! Mostly! And only a few things have happened since I was last here. I'm HILARIOUS. Surely I will forget some stuff, but I will do my darndest to cover the highlights as best I can. Maybe later my husband will come home and say "But what about [insert that super important thing I totally neglected to mention]??" and I'll say "Oh, yeah!" and actually come back sooner than six months from now. Who knows! Stranger things have happened. If you'd rather not waste your time, the Spark Notes...
Hello! The other day someone came to the blog's Facebook page and yelled at me. Well, that's not exactly true; they left a very concerned message asking for an update and if I'm okay, and it happened to be in all caps. So when I responded, I said "Please don't yell at me!" (I am delicate and have tender, easily-hurt feelings) and the commenter hastened to apologize for the accidental caps lock. This of course prompted me to check when I'd last updated, because surely it hadn't been that long, and.... yes it was. Months. I left you hanging for the entire summer. Whoops! Sorry about that. The...
Hello! I am pleased to report that I am still here, and still cranky. Maybe I am not pleased to be cranky, I guess, but there you have it. A couple of nights ago, Otto and I had iteration number seven thousand or so of the conversation where he says he misses my writing, and I say that nothing interesting and/or suitable to tell the world about has happened because my life is actually super boring, and he says that's not true, and I tell him he's not the boss of me. (Being married to me is a treat, I am sure.) I thought about it and realized I actually have plenty of things to complain...
In the grand scheme of Big Life Problems, everything is fine. Let's start with that. Because I am about to launch into a carnival of bitchery and I KNOW someone will want to bright-side it somehow or say it could definitely be worse, and you know how I feel about Hardship Olympics. So. Is my family okay; is anything on fire? Yes, and no. But am I going to complain anyway? You betcha. Not in the mood for such? That's fine. Catch you next time when I'm back to being funny, I guess. Where to begin, where to begin? I think let's start with the timeline/history of my involvement with this local...
Once again, I came, I saw, I blogged, and then I disappeared. If only this was a marketable skill, I would have so much more money than I actually do. (Other things I wish were marketable skills: insomnia, snacking, still getting zits in middle age, being a hermit, and swearing.) (Honestly, I am SO GOOD at all of those things! It's unfair that my superpowers go unrecognized, is all I'm saying.) There was Holiday Hubbub and Dog Hubbub and Other Hubbub I would very much like to know where the word "hubbub" came from, just on general principle and also because after I type it a few times it...
I swear I didn't mean to pop in three months ago, mention I was horribly depressed, tell a story about dog poop, and then disappear again. That's what happened, but it wasn't intentional. My intentions are always more like "I'll post this and then I'll get back to updating regularly, and with less angst" because hope springs eternal. Then life happens. You know how it is. The bad news is that it's been three entire months AND I'm not really even sure I would know how to live a life that is free from angst, so---intentions or not---my plan, such as it was, is not salvageable. Then again, if...
So much has happened since I was last here! Hahahahaaaaaaaa. Just a little bit of shelter-in-place humor for you. I'M HILARIOUS. Actually, a few things have happened. First of all, our moron governor decided that certain businesses could open back up again. This is measured and sensible, yes? Of course! But then you find out that these essential businesses of which he speaks are... salons, nail places, and bowling alleys. And even if you don't live in Georgia, you've heard about this, because we're now The State That Spawned a Hundred Memes, starting with a few dozen riffs on how it's time...
So this is not a fun post, but I do promise one little funny bit before it ends, if you'll hang in there with me. Okay? Okay. Six years ago we added Duncan to our family, and he has been an inordinate pain in our collective backsides ever since. He was older than we were told, he was sicker than we were told, and while I firmly believe I could pick Licorice up and twist her into a pretzel without so much as a single growl from her, Duncan has never, ever hesitated to show you displeasure with his (freakishly strong) teeth, and in the first two days he lived with us, he'd bitten three out of...
Yesterday the temperature hit the high 50s here, and there was much rejoicing. This has been the longest, hottest summer I can remember, and allllll through September we joked about how fall would be arriving ANY DAY NOW, and yet the next day the heat index would crack three digits, and that sucked, sure, but when it was still happening the first week of October, well, then it's just ridiculous. But yesterday---glorious, cool, wonderful yesterday---when we got up, it was actually cool outside. I don't think it went over about 72 all day. Today it will be over 80, but RIGHTTHISSECOND it's...
