I feel it of the utmost importance to let you know that my trip here was uneventful, save for one little thing. See, I was pulled out of the security line and made to pose in one of those new-fangled full body scanners, and that was of course delightful, because POSING is truly what you're instructed to do---legs apart, arms over your head, hands cupped slightly as if you're going for a high football pass---while everyone else in line watches you and the guards keep saying, just a little bit longer, ma'am. But AFTER the scan a burly female guard made me stand in a designated square while she...
I promise that after this I will stop talking about dog poop. I mean, probably. For a while, at least. I did really enjoy how yesterday I thought I was making this offhanded observation about the dog being a pain in the ass (granted, an adorable pain, but still) and the next thing I knew, my comments were filled with people who were afraid I was randomly flinging dog poop into other people's trash cans. Or who had terrible stories of random/unexpected dog poop. (I did go back to the comments to clarify that I am only dropping securely-bagged poop into public receptacles. Lest you think I'm a...
Today I am over at Five Full Plates, bragging about how I'm getting myself back into the fitness groove I loathe so much. It's going surprisingly well, actually. I meant, except for the part where I nearly died. (I didn't really nearly die. I just felt like I was going to. Because I'm a drama queen.) Extra bonus unrelated story snippet: Part of Monkey's accommodation at school is that he has a laptop so he can keyboard instead of writing. His laptop also has Internet. And Monkey spends a lot of time on his laptop, because he's allowed to use it whenever he's done with his work, and Speedy...
I often refer to myself as lazy because I am not terribly physically active. I sit at a desk all day long, and I've never been good at sports, and my idea of relaxing is... moving from the desk to the couch. I live on the edge, obviously. Part of me bristles against this, because, obviously, I am not lazy in the overarching sense of the word. I mean, I'm as lazy as you can be while working 50-60 hours/week and cooking, cleaning, and otherwise tending to a family, I guess. Still, my inability to develop a love for exercise aggravates me. Hence today's post over at Five Full Plates, about me...
In general, I believe in parenting with a firm but benevolent hand. I believe in choosing your battles, allowing them room to make their own mistakes, and a lot of prayer. I believe you can't take it personally, but you can't just give up, either. I believe it's our job to mold these kids into human beings who will benefit society, and that said molding can be messy, thankless work a lot of the time, but that the benefits in the end far, far outweigh the drawbacks. That said, if I had to club my daughter to within an inch of her life with, say, this, y'all would totally understand, right?...
So. Um. Hi! It appears that I didn't really think through yesterday's post. I mean, I thought, "This is an important miscarriage of justice that needs to be brought to light, and I have the luxury of readers and so I will ask them to read about it," when really I should've been thinking, "People who are strangers to me will read about this story and then go onto various bulletin boards and claim that I have posted this story to boost my t-shirt sales." Yes, they're on to me, folks. I shared that story because I want your money! BUY A SHIRT, DAMMIT! Ahem. Look; I very rarely use this space...
Have you seen this Kia commercial? I apologize in advance for the fact that the music will BURROW INTO YOUR BRAIN, but you really must see if if you haven't: I have just one thing to say about that, by the way: DO. DOP. DIPPITY! Okay, technically that may be three things. And it also isn't the only thing I have to say about it, because I'm a dirty liar. Here is the thing about this commercial: At some point, somewhere, someone in a room full of executives said, "You know what this campaign needs? RODENTS. LOTS AND LOTS OF RODENTS. Preferably rodents who are totally rocking out and getting...
Hey, how was your weekend? Do anything exciting? Mine? Oh, yeah. Mine was great. You know, just doing the regular weekend stuff. Sleeping in. Buying groceries. Poisoning the dog. The usual. What? Oh, haha. Yeah, kidding. Of course I'm kidding! I would never poison the dog! I mean, not on purpose, or anything. It was an accident. Well, yes, I did actually do the same thing once before. I just thought it wouldn't happen again. I mean... I just... LOOK, LICORICE IS OVER IT, WHY AREN'T YOU? Sheesh! Everyone's a critic! I'm telling you, it was an ACCIDENT, and I'm perfectly capable of marinating...
We're packing up and heading home; as always, this trip has had its ups and downs, but it's still bittersweet to close up the camper and hitch up and drive back to everyday life. As I walked through the campground this morning, I chuckled (as I always do) at the different things people do to personalize their campers. There's all sorts of signs ("The Smiths Second Home!" and "Kick off your shoes and grab a beer!" and such) and strings of lights and even hanging plants and lawn ornaments. Our camper is bland by comparison. But we do put up our flag as soon as we park, just as a reminder of...
