Still awkward

By Mir
August 27, 2010

Today I am over at Five Full Plates, bragging about how I’m getting myself back into the fitness groove I loathe so much. It’s going surprisingly well, actually. I meant, except for the part where I nearly died. (I didn’t really nearly die. I just felt like I was going to. Because I’m a drama queen.)

Extra bonus unrelated story snippet: Part of Monkey’s accommodation at school is that he has a laptop so he can keyboard instead of writing. His laptop also has Internet. And Monkey spends a lot of time on his laptop, because he’s allowed to use it whenever he’s done with his work, and Speedy Gonzalez there is often sitting around waiting for his classmates to finish up. Well. I found out he’d been Googling me and reading the blog (really, I didn’t expect that to happen for a few years). So I emailed the teacher to ask that his Internet usage be monitored, and she assured me that it was, and I assured her that it was not, because he’d admitted to reading stuff he shouldn’t, and she got kind of defensive and said the school filters would prevent that, and I told her “yes, but I’m writer, and I write for an adult audience, and he’s apparently been reading me from school. And now you think I write porn, but really I don’t, I just would prefer he not read my writing… oh, God, the more I protest the worse this sounds.”

She… did not respond to that email. So when I sent Otto off to curriculum night last night, I yelled after him, “Please make sure she knows I don’t write porn for a living!” Yeah.


  1. diane

    You haven’t heard from her because she is busy googling you herself, reading all of your archives and realizing what an incredible mom, writer and person you are.

    I always like to think positively when I feel paranoid…

  2. Mona

    Ha! Very funny, Mir! I have been told a few times that my blog is blocked by work and military base filters because their servers consider it “pornography.”

  3. Megan

    Man. No one has EVER thought I write porn. I’m obviously not trying hard enough.

  4. Julie

    Fabulous!! My big fear is when my kids find the blog and get furious about all the pictures and stories I have told about them! I REALLY want to post a pic of my son from age 6 when he fell asleep with a baby headband/bow on his head. But I think he would disown me!

  5. Kate M

    If she has half a brain, she has googled you and knows it’s not porn. Just boobs :).

    I am surprised Monkey could get to your blogs…when I’m in carpool trying to catch up on my blog reading, our school’s filters do catch most of them and make me switch to 3G…and that he gets a laptop. My son’s school can’t let him use a laptop, so his accommodation is use of an alphasmart. More of a hindrance than a help, really.

  6. Sheila

    Hi Monkey!! All of us out here in the Internets simply adore you!

    (Now get back to approved websites and stop giving your mom agita.)

  7. elz

    What? Where’s the porn? I came here looking for the porn, and nothing! Pffft.

  8. RuthWells


    I’m actually surprised Monkey is interested. My aspie boys have shown NO interest whatsoever (though they did read your interview with me at my invitiation, and thought it was “cool.”)

  9. Zilla

    Mir – thanks for the laughs this morning. My husband blogs (about the kids and I, sometimes) – I’m just waiting until they find him and read him regularly, and then ask him to stop writing about them. Happy Friday to you!

  10. laura

    maybe if you changed the title to: PORN….STILL AWKWARD….it would be blocked?

  11. Tracy

    I’m definately with Diane on this one. You are an awesome wife, mother and especially the most awesomeness porn writer of all time! :o)

  12. ramblin red

    :snort: your exchange with the teacher left me in stitches.

  13. Sharon

    That’s the difference with adult children. I’ve known from the git-go that they’d have access so I write very little about them or write in such an oblique way that you’d need a decoding device to know what I’m really saying. Sometimes there are great stories that I can’t tell because my offspring are too big a part of it.

  14. Katie in MA

    At least you knew when to stop. I would have been all, “I don’t write porn, just about my boobs!”

  15. My Kids Mom

    I’m giggling.

  16. The Other Leanne

    Okay, I am officially old, because I looked up “keyboard” on M-W and discovered that somehow, somewhere, sometime, it became a verb and I didn’t notice. I was going to schoolmarm you about how verbing weirds language, but I guess you have teachered me something today.
    Diane is right–Monkey’s teacher is busy reading.

  17. diane

    Actually, I’m just wondering now when she will comment…

  18. Cele

    My husband wishes I wrote porn, he’s going to die wishing.

  19. Little Bird

    I’m fairly certain my site would be blocked. One little post titled “Prostitutes and Cheez Puffs” and I can’t access my own blog from my dad’s school.
    (That in itself is a blessing, since some of what I write is less than … complimentary to his wife)
    {And no, they don’t know about the blog}

    If that teacher is worth her degree, she’s reading your site and taking notes. Particularly where it applies to Monkey’s ordeals with school and previous teachers. Also, she’ll want to know when to expect those baked goods you mentioned not too long ago.

  20. StephLove

    Guess what my 9 y/o son is doing right now? He’s reading my blog for the first time. Now I have not written as extensively about my breasts as you have, so I’m not too worried, but it does feel strange as I’ve been writing about him for 3.5 years,

  21. Brigitte

    Heh, Sheila, I thought my MIL was the only person who says she’s getting “agita”, I had to Google it (knowing her, I thought she was just mispronouncing “angina”).

  22. renee

    I’m actually surprised the laptop is internet enabled. How is that helpful in the classroom beyond keeping him occupied/compliant in the present?

    Done early or not, there should be objectives based review or previews he could achieve.

    And, heaven help me, how can one teacher be expected to keep track of how many windows are open for a child who has this accomodation? I’m sure there are some school filters; beyond that, if you are okay with his browsing the internet, I would think you have to be okay with him finding things.

    That said, hey, I’m glad the school is working with you and him in a manner you find more helpful. It’s rough when you aren’t on the same team.

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