As you admire all the pretty, pretty houses with welcoming lights in their windows this season, please enjoy the following informative timeline of one of my favorite Christmas decorations: First, there was the candle, made of tallow or wax, with a wick. And it was good. Except for the part where it dripped all over the damn place. That wasn't so great. And the part where you put it in the window and occasionally the curtains caught on fire. That part could really put a damper on your holiday spirit. Okay; I lied. It really wasn't very good. Then, there was the electric candle lamp. It was...
All ye rejoice and be exceedingly glad... for there is much to be thankful for this holiday weekend! The laundry may struggle valiantly, but in truth I am caught up. For once. Yesterday's molasses cookies are today's pumpkin cheesecake crust. Therefore, verily, I shall be revered tomorrow at the great feast. Such reverence shall resonate throughout the land and strike the calories from the dessert. Yea, though the small ones descended upon the Dunkin Donuts Munchkins like locusts, this morning's playdate was perfection and joy. Rather than lamenting the absence of children on the holiday,...
I'm the one and only Yahoo! search result for "uterus grew back". I was kidding. Ewww. (Yeah, I know I've been neglecting my blog duties. Sit tight, my pretties... something good is coming down the pike very soon, trust me.)
I am very seriously kinda sorta maybe almost committing to moving to a real site sometime in the near future. Blogger has pissed me off one too many times. So after that whole thing I'm not thinking about resolves itself sometime next week, I may start taking steps to get off this cheap server and freeload elsewhere. Ha! The problem is, I very much like my site name. There is really nothing more apropos for my usual state of mind than "Woulda Coulda Shoulda." But--in case you haven't noticed--typing that out as part of a domain name is a gigantic pain in the rear. I need a domain name that's...
When I paint. Sheesh. You're sick. A friend of mine has been "in the process" of painting her family room for something like six months. I couldn't take it any more; when I saw her this weekend, I told her to pick a day because it was time to finish painting. She picked today, and I went straight over there after dropping the kids. We sponge painted the entire room. I did all of the work near the ceiling, because she has a bad shoulder and shouldn't be reaching. And really, I find that Zen mood that overtakes me when I paint settles in better when I'm perched on a ladder or a chair. It must...
I'm a multi-tasker. I have a deep appreciation for anything that functions well in multiple capacities. So you can imagine how thrilled I was, this morning, to discover that the Vivelle Dot box is exactly the right size for squishing bugs that have wandered into the tight quarters of my master bathroom. Their current tagline is "Works well. Wears well." But I think, "Sanity, strong bones, and insecticide" is so much catchier, don't you?
Because I signed myself up for the Do Not Call Registry as soon as it became available, instead of receiving eleventy billion unwanted calls every day, I only receive one or two. This reduction is a good thing. However, it has rendered my standard methods for dealing with telemarketers rather rusty. It used to be, if I saw an "Unavailable" or unfamiliar number on the caller ID, I would scoop up the phone, say hello, and if there was even the slightest pause, I would hang up. That pause is when the person manning the Telemarketronic A5000 machine realizes there's a human on the other end and...
