November 22, 2007 | What do I do all day?

Yesterday I cooked and worked and cooked and worked and cooked some more and worked some more and told my daughter that if she behaved she could help me with the pies and that if she didn’t, I would chop her up and put her IN the pies.

It was mixed bag of a day—rather more frenetic that I would’ve liked, plus it’s hard to behave when you’re off school and everyone is busy ignoring you in favor of preparing dinner for people you don’t even KNOW, MOM—but in the end, we more or less did both.

I hope our guests like pie. (more…)

November 10, 2007 | It's not a regret, it's an "experience", What do I do all day?

I have so much to say, and none of it involves weeping (any more) which is a huge change from the past week. Soon we shall discuss this last week in detail and then put it behind us and move on, but I can’t do it just yet.

Today I am spending the day focusing on my children. My wonderful, awesome, patient children, who still love me even though I all but ignored them for four days while my business (and I) were in a tailspin. This may have nothing to do with me and everything to do with the pudding cups I packed them on Friday, along with notes about how great I think they are and how much I love them, and also the pudding was chocolate, so, you know, they may not have even read the notes. (Moral of the story: You can be a rotten mother if you have awesome snack foods.)

Anyway, if you missed what all happened here, you can catch up a bit by reading the last week’s worth of posts at Cornered Office, and soon I’ll tell you the rest. Right now, though, I have to go watch a movie with the kids. They have forbidden me to bring my laptop. Seeing as I have yet to buy them those ponies I promised, I think I can give them that, at least.

October 15, 2007 | Ottomatic For the People, What do I do all day?

… have big plans but in the end are astonishingly lazy.

(Wow, that really doesn’t roll off the tongue quite the way the original does, huh?)

The kids spent the weekend with their father, which meant that after Monkey’s soccer game on Saturday they piled into a rental car and headed off to… well, I’m not sure where. Maybe they told me, but I was too busy waving and driving off with Otto yelling “FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST!” Okay, maybe it wasn’t quite that bad.

We set off on a rollicking adventure which would take us out to lunch and over to the local Goodwill. Because we are WILD.

We also, of course, had weekend plans equivalent to about three weeks worth of projects and decadence. On the one hand, there were so many things we needed to accomplish around the house, things which would be easier to do without kids underfoot. On the other hand, ice cream. You can see our dilemma, I’m sure.

So we did our best to make the most of the weekend, despite the strong gravitational pull we experienced from the couch. (more…)

October 4, 2007 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony, What do I do all day?

I am already struck with a strong urge to crawl back into bed, which I’m taking as a very bad sign indeed, seeing as how that usually doesn’t happen until closer to lunch time. Not even a bowl of grits with bacon salt (bacon salt, oh how I love thee) has perked me up. This is not a good omen.

The children are having trouble getting up in the morning, and honestly, short of putting them to bed right after they get home from school, I am out of ideas. Their bedtime is plenty early. They SHOULD be getting plenty of sleep. Maybe they are, and it’s just their genetic bent towards morning surliness that is causing the problem. I just know that mornings are getting uglier and uglier around here and I hate it. Also, I am tired of the “Don’t YELL AT US!” whine reflexively answered with “Did you come when I DIDN’T yell??” rejoinder. That’s a crappy stalemate to be in, on either side. (more…)

September 24, 2007 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony, Ottomatic For the People, What do I do all day?

The children seemed largely unbothered by Otto’s absence this weekend, but they were on him the second he walked in the door, yesterday, to fill him in on everything he’d missed. There was soccer! And Sonic! And some things they’d watched on TV! And look at this thing I built! And how loose my tooth is! And we tried to go swimming but it was COLD! Monkey hung from Otto’s middle while he chattered on, while Chickadee hung back, far too cool to climb on him, of course, but adding bits to the conversation with authority.

Also, Otto brought home free baseball hats for everyone. And that’s pretty darn exciting. (Yes. My children have long been fans of… Coker Tire. Also, chewing tobacco!)

Otto returned a few hours earlier than we’d expected him, and although (thankfully) my boyfriend had left and I’d let the kids out of their cages before he walked in, I hadn’t yet made it to the grocery store or actually done anything else remotely housekeepingish. Fortunately for me, several nights of sleeping in a budget hotel with another man predisposed Otto to be happy to be back even though I am a rather substandard wife. (more…)

September 4, 2007 | What do I do all day?

With yesterday being a holiday, and all, Otto and I decided that it might be nice to have a few folks over for a barbecue. I’m still not feeling quite top-notch, so in our early discussions of this idea I clearly remember saying, “I don’t know that I’m up for an actual PARTY. Let’s just have a FEW people over, okay?” Otto agreed. We talked about who to invite and figured we’d have about 8 guests or so, if everyone came (and surely some people would already have plans, right?).

Very good. We issued our invitations. Everyone accepted. Excellent!

And then… well, it was bound to happen. “Oh, we should invite the so-and-sos, too, don’t you think?” “Yeah, we probably should.” “Oh, what about the neighbors? They’re going to see all the cars…” “Yep, better invite them too.” “What about the neighbors on the other side?” “Good idea.”

I woke up yesterday morning with the undeniable realization that we were about to have a party. (more…)

September 1, 2007 | The Year of Living Changerously, What do I do all day?

I guess I considered myself an involved parent when it came to our old school. I volunteered at school; I belonged to the PTA; I brought stuff in when the teachers needed things. Whatever. None of it required all that much effort on my part, is my point.

And I am nothing if not lazy by nature.

It’s become apparently very quickly that the new school—having less money, fewer resources, and plenty of parents who don’t help out in any way—needs a lot more in the way of parental participation. I am trying to do my part even though, honestly, sometimes it feels like Just One More Thing piled on top of an already overfull schedule. (more…)

August 21, 2007 | It's not a regret, it's an "experience", What do I do all day?

Oh, my. My my my. Thank you to everyone who rushed to stroke my hair and tell me I’m a GOOD AND KIND AND VERY USEFUL ENGINE. You are sweet and silly because of course I wasn’t saying that I suck in every possible way, I was just venting on having done something I regretted, and then life goes on.

Of course, those of you who took this opportunity to lecture me on what I should say or do remind me that yes, one DOES need to be careful about what they blog, because there is always someone out there who 1) assumes they know you inside and out from just a peek into your life and 2) therefore feels entitled to tell you how to behave. Yes, I am duly chastened. Thanks for that. Now, given that we’re so close and all, maybe you could get your ass over here and do the dishes? I mean, since we’re on such intimate terms. Thanks.

As for us, amazingly the earth continued to spin and our routines marched onward. (more…)

August 15, 2007 | What do I do all day?

Someone commented on the last post that they’ve noticed that I’ve switched to posting in the morning now that I’ve gotten married. Actually, I was still posting at night until this week, when I realized that 6:00, she arrives EXTREMELY EARLY. That is always true, I supposed, but she arrives PARTICULARLY early if you’ve been up late working, blogging, or beating the pants off your husband in Scrabble. (I joke. We have never played strip Scrabble. But now that I think of it….)

So I’m trying to get to bed earlier, and I’m trying out posting in the morning instead of at night. I haven’t decided yet if I’ll keep it this way, but so long as it continues to be dark when I get up (even though it’s the middle of summer), I’m going to try to get to bed at a reasonable time.

Because I? Am old. And I need my sleep. (more…)

August 8, 2007 | Friends, Offspring: ecstasy and agony, What do I do all day?

Good news! Today was not nearly so hot as yesterday. I mean, yes, OKAY, it was 101 today just like yesterday, and the heat index was around 108, but it was PARTLY CLOUDY. So. Ever so much better.

Today would’ve been a good day to stay inside and do work, and I managed to do that, for most of the morning, but eventually I had to give in to my children’s demands that we goooooo swiiiiiimiiiiiiing.

And because I can only spend so long in the pool with them before I start wondering important things like “would it be child abuse to pick up this dead cricket and place it atop my child’s head?” or “how many more times must I watch THIS VERY IMPORTANT JUMP which—amazingly!—looks just like every other jump this child has taken off the diving board so far?” I thought it prudent to call in reinforcements. So I begged Tammy to come over, since she’s a work-at-home slacker like me. (more…)